Today, my boyfriend told me to text him when I got home to let him know I'd made it home safe. He said if I didn't, he'd assume that aliens had abducted me and that he'd get a new girlfriend. He was completely serious. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was playing a game on my boyfriend's phone when he got a text from a girl saying, "Last night was so fun." When I asked him about it, he panicked and said, "We were hunting Bigfoot." FML
Today, I texted my boyfriend, and he pretended he was a Burger King employee who found a lost phone, just so that he wouldn't have to talk to me. FML
Today, when my boyfriend got home, I told him about how I’d had the worst day with our baby. Without blinking, he told me to say the word and he’d drive to a different city and anonymously surrender our son to a fire station and all our suffering would be over. He was completely serious. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I had to go out and that I'd be back later. He asked where I was going. "To see my other boyfriend," I chuckled, smiling. He took it seriously and wouldn't believe it was just a joke. I'm pretty sure I'm now single. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to text him when I got home after driving 40 miles in bad weather from his house back to mine. When I did, he broke up with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I said yes. This caused him to panic, excuse himself, then take it back via text message a half hour later, claiming he'd been drunk. We live together. When he comes back home, it's going to be very awkward indeed. FML
Today, I was texting my boyfriend about yesterday, where he told me how much he loved me, and he wishes we lived closer. I asked him if he really meant it. Turns out he was drunk, and had no idea what he was talking about. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me in the middle of the night and told me he got mugged and was on his way to the hospital. I told him to fuck off because that was a horrible April Fool's joke. He asked if I wanted to talk to the paramedic. I told him to stop bothering me. Turns out it was true. FML
Today, my suburban, white boyfriend of two years told me he wanted to tell me something serious. He sat me down, looked me in the eye and said "I want to be gangster." I started laughing thinking he was joking. He was 100% serious. FML
Today, my boyfriend texted me saying, "I can come over today. She thinks I've got work." I think he had the wrong number. FML
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Top comments
Kill_Kayt 5
I think you deserve it for actualy thinking he was completely serious.
SeahorseGuy 7
Be glad, at least he cares if you made it home safe.
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Comments (57)
VintageBooby 6
So did you text him?
devydev92 5
I'm sure he was serious in the matter that he wanted to know that you got home okay, be glad he cares. If he's serious enough to care about you then he's obviously kidding about finding someone else.
agonydrum 7
I'm sure that was a joke, it even sounds like something I might say
tacojauns 45
Do you know he was serious because he got a new girlfriend, or because of his tone?
acetheone 8
He now thinks you've been probed and compromised, i would.lol. FYL OP.
Arrawyn 12
Maybe you should let him find a new girlfriend. I for knowing you noticed, but he's kind of a dumbass
AussieChild 22
How's he a dumbass? He's being responsible and OP is too much of an idiot to realise that he's not "totally serious" about the aliens.
Ugi 27
I agree with the majority of comments here - he can only have been serious about making sure you got home. That's a good thing. He sounds fun _and_ responsible. That's not a common combination so I reckon you've found a winner there.
krewer21 1
So you tested that out and he now has a new girlfriend?
AussieChild 22
He probably just didn't want OP to realise how concerned he was, and was trying to be macho. And OP is an idiot for thinking that her bf was being completely serious, when he was obviously just being sweet. My fiancé and I live 10 minutes apart, but we always text each other when we get home, just as second nature and common courtesy. I personally like to know that he's home safe, and that the siren I can hear is not for him.
lostfaithinpppl 19
Thanks, #29. You said exactly what I wanted to say.
mikeymayhem_87 15
It wasn't a kidnapping or car accident.... It was aliens!!