Today, I learned that when blender jars aren't locked, they fly off the blender, into the air, hit you in the head and explode all over your kitchen. Today, I also learned that after I'm attacked by a flying blender, the first thing my boyfriend asks is if I'm still gonna make him a smoothie. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was excited to try out my new blender, but when I turned it on, the lid flew off and sprayed smoothie all over my kitchen. Now I have a fruity polka dot pattern on parts of my kitchen's walls and ceiling. FML
Today, I made a smoothie with all the healthy ingredients I could find. As I took my first sip, I realized too late that I had accidentally blended in a dead fly that had fallen into the blender. FML
Today, I was getting ready for a party when I accidentally knocked my blender off the counter. After taking a half an hour to clean up all the glass, I went upstairs to get the spare blender I keep in the closet. I tripped, and broke the blender. I just applied for a waitressing job. FML
Today, I was making a smoothie. I didn't plug in the blender until after all the ingredients were inside. I pushed the 'on' button. It was still on when I went to plug it in. With no lid. FML
Today, while making milkshakes, I was pouring and the blender's blades all fell out somehow. I don't know what's worse, that I sliced my finger open when the blades fell out and now there's blood all over, that there's now melted ice cream all over my counter and floor, or that I just wasted an entire tub of ice cream. FML
Today, I caught a falling jar in the kitchen with one hand and I felt like an action hero. In celebrating, I yelled, “Did you see that?!” The jar then slipped out of my hand, smashed onto the floor, and splattered sauce all over me. My roommate flipped me the finger and left me to clean up. FML
Today, I started to make a protein shake to have a healthy breakfast. It exploded. Turns out, my mom lost the rubber gasket and put the blender back, so it looked ready to use. By the time I cleaned it all up, it was time for me to leave for work. I'm now eating chips from the vending machine. FML
Today, I was making a shake at work when the cup fell off the blender. I went to catch it, and instead caught the teeth of the still-spinning mixer. When my hand was still bleeding five minutes later, my supervisor told me to clock out until it stopped. I lost money for getting hurt on the job. FML
Today, I tried to open a jar by tapping the lid on the counter. I tapped it so hard, the jar shattered, and I now have more spaghetti sauce on my pyjama pants than in the pot. FML
Today, I made a delicious casserole for dinner. Just as I was about to serve it, a bowl fell from the cupboard above, exploded on the counter and made it rain tiny, sharp glass shards on my food. I can't pick them all out. FML
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Top comments
Seti_fml 0
haven't you ever seen someone use a blender before? did you ever wonder why they always had a hand on the top of it? lol i hate to sound so mean, but you seriously deserve it... i mean really! thats a lack of common sense right there
crazy_cat_lady24 0
You didn't clean your kitchen for weeks?
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Comments (89)
Seti_fml 0
haven't you ever seen someone use a blender before? did you ever wonder why they always had a hand on the top of it? lol i hate to sound so mean, but you seriously deserve it... i mean really! thats a lack of common sense right there
the_elle_factor 0
I agree.... Everybody knows you need to watch what you're doing with a blender. YDI
amandajj 0
Depends on the blender, really. A good blender, you shouldn't need to keep you hand on top of it... that is why the lid locks in place. However if you have a cheap'o piece of crap, then I guess you do...
mazuma 0
what did OP expect?? now stop complaining, and go make me some dinner!
wintamint101 7
shoulda made him a sandwich instead
poper123 0
Hahaha. Happened to me a while ago, and my kitchen was covered in milkshake for weeks.
crazy_cat_lady24 0
You didn't clean your kitchen for weeks?
nobeans6131 0
hahahahHHAHHAHAhahahahahahHAHAHAHHhhahahahHAHAHHAhHHAHAHAhahahaha hes kool
girandwogpig 0
He's not cool hes a pimp!!
emmmilyyy 0
haha thats ****** laamee..... i hope youre ok. dump your boyfriend too he's obv a useless sack of bullshit
Dante167 0
#4 How bout you take out the rag and calm down.
Shizden 0
Mine locks on then does it :D
clutchcake 0
What do you expect him to ask? If it wasn't for your utter incomptetence the man would be drinking deliciousness right now. Also, have you never seen a sitcom. Exploding blenders are sitcom 101.
ihatestupidppl 0
"If it wasn't for your utter incomptetence the man would be drinking deliciousness right now." LMAO that line made my day.
lmmmr 0
The man could also make his own.
thereitgo 1
lmfao I agree with #40. FML commenters are getting more clever by the day.
brynn18 0
he sounds like a real fag, nice of you to show your one too.
HockeyFanNick 4
Total bummer... I hope you still made him one! If at first you don't succeed, try try again.
FerrSureKatrina 0
lol, thats great. i would have asked that same thing. :D
laurenlovelyyy 0
#4. Shutup, geeez. did he want a pussy juice smoothie? ;)
AK 2
YD the first part, but FYL for the second part.