Today, my boyfriend told me that having sex with me was as good as eating crispy bacon. I don't know if I should feel complimented. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML
Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML
Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML
Today, while at Wendy's with my boyfriend, I realized that he made more pleasure sounds when eating his Baconator than he did while sleeping with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me my vagina is "as clean as a dog's mouth." I'm not sure if that supposed to be a compliment or not. FML
Today, my boyfriend said to me, "You know how I know I love you? I don't want you to leave after we have sex." He thinks that's a compliment. FML
Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by bringing him some dinner. He made the same noise unwrapping the burger that he does when he sees me naked. I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing. FML
Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML
Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
CraneTG 0
Yes you should, cause there is nothing better than crispy bacon
saIty 17
Wow you should feel honored. That is one of the most complimentary compliment I have heard in my life. Be proud you know how to work it girl.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (340)
SimpleMonarch92 2
You are a sex goddess!
TrolliloliPoP 1
I definitely think its not a bad thing :)
1Blondie 3
Hahah, I'm a girl and I'm really not sure how I would take that at first, but now after a moment of thinking about it it sounds like your just awesome!! LoL. ;)
EireGoBragh 1
You should absolutely be complimented. Bacon is delicious.
boyzrproblemz 1
Crispy bacon is pretty frickin' fantastic. Feel accomplished.
kAIvin31 0
You should, bacon was touched by god
psyonomega 4
Your serious aren't you? IT'S BACON! That's like having sex with someone and afterwords they turn to you and say that you **** like a **** star
seeforkay 7
Although it's not the most romantic sounding comment, it's certainly saying a lot.
florido_fml 10
The only bad thing about bacon is that it gets you thirsty for mooree BACONNNNNNN!!!!!
sundaynightfog 1
Total compliment. Crispy bacon is the best.