Today, my boyfriend told me I was almost perfect. And the only reason I'm not completely perfect is because I don't like Mountain Dew. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about our past relationships. He told me that he broke up with his last girlfriend because she was smart and he suited someone who was quite stupid. He then went on to say that I was perfect for him. FML
Today, a guy was telling me how his girlfriend considers me a "perfect beauty." Not used to getting this sort of compliment every day, I felt extremely flattered… until he started explaining in great detail why he couldn't disagree with her more. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up me with for being the "perfect boyfriend". Apparently I'm the best boyfriend she's ever had, and she didn't know how to take it. So she dumped me. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I'm beautiful. Before I could thank him, he continued, "Too bad it takes a shit-load of makeup." FML
Today, I confessed to my boyfriend that I think I'm average looking. He told me that it was OK, unless he wakes up tomorrow with some standards, I'm good enough. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me grief about my drinking. This would be fine, if he were sober. FML
Today, my boyfriend gushed for several minutes about how amazing it is that I suddenly look hot when he takes his glasses off. FML
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend, feeling pretty low. I said something along the lines of, "You like me even when I look like shit." He replied, "Ah, that's just how you naturally look." FML
Today, my own boyfriend admitted that he can't name one single thing he likes about me without naming something "physical." FML
Today, after dating for almost five years, my boyfriend stated that I have a "perfect and amazing personality" but that my looks are not what he "envisioned himself spending the rest of his life with." In other words, I'm ugly. FML
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Top comments
danielwilliams57 6
Take that as a compliment, he thinks you're NEARLY perfect!
willyd1991 1
Do the dew!!!
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Comments (68)
lyndserz 0
oh my gosh u dont like mountain dew?!? u are not perfect!
Yaen 18
Close enough.
rss3334 1
def sounds like he was trying to joke around with you...... dumba$$. ps. the dew is delicious
hqbrat 8
Did you know that mountain dew has three side effects to it in long term drinking: 1) If you drink it too much, you can die. (2) guys shlongs get smaller (so tell your boyfriend).(3) girls breast get a lot bigger
A83_fml 18
You do realise that that's his sarcastic way of saying you're perfect. He needs to make a sarcasm sign though, that way you could enjoy the compliments as much as he enjoys being with you ;)
heyyhowsitgoing 9
Don't worry OP nobody's perfect
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
OP, calm down. He was probably kidding and poking fun at you.
mooshymuffin 4
I'm guessing that he's not been your boyfriend for long then. Once you have been together a while and he realises that you don't like mountain dew AND you moan about nothing, pretend you're fine when you're not, stop him playing video games and complain all the time he will realise that you're like the rest of us and therefore far from perfect.
jseeka 3
Really? And you think this is FML worthy?? I would laugh if my fiancé said that..
Bonzer 2
Try diet double dew if you don't want all the calories and sugar of normal double dew.