Today, my boyfriend told me I was almost perfect. And the only reason I'm not completely perfect is because I don't like Mountain Dew. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about our past relationships. He told me that he broke up with his last girlfriend because she was smart and he suited someone who was quite stupid. He then went on to say that I was perfect for him. FML
Today, a guy was telling me how his girlfriend considers me a "perfect beauty." Not used to getting this sort of compliment every day, I felt extremely flattered… until he started explaining in great detail why he couldn't disagree with her more. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up me with for being the "perfect boyfriend". Apparently I'm the best boyfriend she's ever had, and she didn't know how to take it. So she dumped me. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I'm beautiful. Before I could thank him, he continued, "Too bad it takes a shit-load of makeup." FML
Today, I confessed to my boyfriend that I think I'm average looking. He told me that it was OK, unless he wakes up tomorrow with some standards, I'm good enough. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me grief about my drinking. This would be fine, if he were sober. FML
Today, my boyfriend gushed for several minutes about how amazing it is that I suddenly look hot when he takes his glasses off. FML
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend, feeling pretty low. I said something along the lines of, "You like me even when I look like shit." He replied, "Ah, that's just how you naturally look." FML
Today, my own boyfriend admitted that he can't name one single thing he likes about me without naming something "physical." FML
Today, after dating for almost five years, my boyfriend stated that I have a "perfect and amazing personality" but that my looks are not what he "envisioned himself spending the rest of his life with." In other words, I'm ugly. FML
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Top comments
danielwilliams57 6
Take that as a compliment, he thinks you're NEARLY perfect!
willyd1991 1
Do the dew!!!
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Comments (68)
alexh15 13
Geez. Making a mountain out of a molehill don't you think?
itsalanis 25
That is a really silly criteria to not be considered perfect... although, it doesn't sound like something to get yourself worked up for. :s
janicus 9
how can you not like mountain dew? :)
yoursucklives 36
I bet he's not perfect either!
goose12321 11
Lol lighten up
sozan 0
seriously who approved this as an FML
Ghostlyness 7
My thoughts exactly. Either a) he's making a cute joke (so laugh) or b) he's serious and actually thinks you're virtually perfect (so be flattered). Either way, not an FML.
imthebest01 0
Couldn't agree more, this isn't an FML at all.
Bekll 31
That's his loss, OP. In any case, Mountain Dew (in the U.S.) contains BVO, a flame retardant. No need to drink it anyway.
eccentrix 12
YDI for focussing on the negative.
moonfull101 13
You were close
seasonedtoast 19
No one likes Mountain Dew.