Today, my boyfriend started to kiss my boobs. I am pregnant and started my lactation period. Now every time he looks at me he calls me milky way. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML
Today, I was woken up by my husband attempting to breastfeed off my lactating nipples. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend whilst straddled on top of him. He started to undo my bra. I was fine with this but he stopped kissing me and looked at me with a slight smile. He then said, "I know this is going to kill the mood... but I feel like I could milk your boobs right now" FML
Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML
Today, my husband and I were having sex for the first time since I had our son. As I was riding him in a heated passion, he grabbed my breasts. Milk literally shot out onto his face. Mood totally ruined. FML
Today, I announced my pregnancy to my husband. He responded with, "Well shit, when do these faucets turn on?" and started honking my boobs. FML
Today, my sister started lactating through her shirt post-breastfeeding at a family brunch. My husband, who gets turned on by pregnant women since he gets the most action during my pregnancies, visibly ogled her at the table. FML
Today, I was laying in bed with my boyfriend. He started caressing me, his eyes were closed, and he said, “I love touching your boobs.” Which was actually a roll of fat on my stomach. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch, he looked down at my chest and said, "I can't wait for the day that these produce milk." We've only been dating a few months, and I have no intention of lactating anytime soon. FML
Today, when done feeding my newborn, I stated to my husband that I'm a cow. He said, in a sincere tone, "Oh, baby, you'll lose the weight soon." I meant cow because I'm producing so much milk. FML
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Top comments
fadingaway 17
Kick him in the nuts and call him nutcracker.
Ariasmake_1 0
at least your boyfriend has a sense of humor
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Comments (142)
shruikono 0
pwned
epr 0
There's a fetish for that, too.
pronounciations 5
ew
Shookitup 0
Got Milk?
andruha1123 5
it's funny because he drank your milk
xchrist 0
#5 there is an app for that
Trupe 3
Well sex is supposed to be healthy and fun. Now you're ahead on the healthy part. That ups your sex appeal you know...
coolsteve 0
Number 30, tell me more more about this app
pertained 12
op spelt anonymous wrong..
bARbi3_d0Ll 0
instead it supposed to say "FML" and not "FMI" or is that just me that sees that?
remy3106 10
maybe it was a lower case "L"
43bubba34 25
I brought cookies!!
ThereIsNoFork 0
OP is redefining the game of baseball ;)
handhugsftw 0
OP fails. they said FMl instead of FML and spelt anonymous wrong....
sourgirl101 29
If I was called "Milky Way" I would "Snicker".
iraqagainfuck 0
8 looks like a duck, anyone agree?
Lulu714 0
haha now we no who posted the fml dumshit
Shookitup 0
82 - a duck? that's cute.
troyboyd05 0
I actually thought shookitup was pretty hot XD in a non creeper way
xtrawesome 0
lol at shookitup
chinito 0
how do you deserve this??
Akai_fml 4
OP deserves it for not terminating the pregnancy.
TheBestManEver 0
#107: in b4 shitstorm
smorales991 0
haha good one and i agree with #1 lol
iraqagainfuck 0
88 its cause your poking your lips out, thats really not attractive in any way. ;P
dirty42 0
88 is hott:)
dirty42 0
8 if you do I got cookies :)
Shookitup 0
So you obviously don't like kissing, therefore you probably havn't had one :/ Yikes.
iraqagainfuck 0
lol married here, and actually yes i do love kissing my wife especially when i get back from iraq next august
101autie 0
suck my.... and i dont even have one!!!!
101autie 0
at 107
Izzi_Swim 0
Hahahahah! 5, the add would be a baby sucking the boobs and the man staring all bug-eyed
lili555_fml 0
lol
B4SK3TB4IL 0
moooooooooooo
rkdstp1995 25
i have a feeling hes gonna "milk" that nickname for all its worth.
eniiwa 0
pwned
3AH 0
aha (: thats funny (:
fadingaway 17
Kick him in the nuts and call him nutcracker.
Shookitup 0
But she would be the one who "cracked" his nuts?
hockeybuff 0
owned!
donaldthegrump 23
How punny
livetodisco 0
When my friend was lactating her husband squeezed her breast then said he liked her utters and called her a cow.
faxe 0
it's udders mate.
zackbejammin 0
Ahaha Funny shit xD
sarah56195 0
I like this more than the fml.
Ariasmake_1 0
at least your boyfriend has a sense of humor
unthinkable 0
Haha thats very funny!
lawlcopter 3
a lactation period? this has got to be fake. I've been pregnant twice and never heard this before.. you do however get colostrum but even that's just a yellowy water substance.
lawlcopter 3
being a member on babygaga for the last 3 y
lawlcopter 3
** 3 years, I've never heard of a lactation period and yes baby fingers + iPod touch = premature posting
lafingman0 5
I think the OP means the period of time you lactate for. Not as in a that time of the month period..
BubbaCatLove 0
I think the poster is very young and didn't know what to call her lactating nipples, to be honest with you. Young as in, probably 14-17 years of age.
msshaye 0
I don't agree. Some women are different. Everyone's body isn't the same. I've not yet had a successful pregnancy, but I have been lactating and sometimes a mere touch could make milk be released. At least from my experience...
msshaye 0
I don't agree. Some women are different. Everyone's body isn't the same. I've not yet had a successful pregnancy, but I have been lactating and sometimes a mere touch could make milk be released. At least from my experience...
msshaye 0
I don't agree. Some women are different. Everyone's body isn't the same. I've not yet had a successful pregnancy, but I have been lactating and sometimes a mere touch could make milk be released. At least from my experience...
lafingman0 5
And she could have meant colostrum :P
msshaye 0
I don't agree. Some women are different. Everyone's body isn't the same. I've not yet had a successful pregnancy, but I have been lactating and sometimes a mere touch could make milk be released. At least from my experience...
msshaye 0
Sorry abt the multiple posts. DAFP!
sallen0046 4
It's not unheard of for women to begin lactating near the end of their pregnancy, but it's rare enough. For most women lactation doesn't occur until 1-3 days after delivery.
monnanon 14
i was lactating for a few weeks before the birth of my son. it just depends on the person i think
tiredmommy 0
I've had three kids and not once have I produced milk while I was pregnant. Your milk doesn't come in until 2-4 days AFTER you give birth.
miniselman 0
that's not always true. My sister in law was producing milk 4 days before my niece was born...it all depends on your body...no two pregnancies are the same. just cause you didn't do it doesn't me someone else can't
oarisimo 4
74, not everyone breast feeds, genius....
_streets_ 19
lol that's kinda gross..got milk