Today, my boyfriend started to kiss my boobs. I am pregnant and started my lactation period. Now every time he looks at me he calls me milky way. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML
Today, I was woken up by my husband attempting to breastfeed off my lactating nipples. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend whilst straddled on top of him. He started to undo my bra. I was fine with this but he stopped kissing me and looked at me with a slight smile. He then said, "I know this is going to kill the mood... but I feel like I could milk your boobs right now" FML
Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML
Today, my husband and I were having sex for the first time since I had our son. As I was riding him in a heated passion, he grabbed my breasts. Milk literally shot out onto his face. Mood totally ruined. FML
Today, I announced my pregnancy to my husband. He responded with, "Well shit, when do these faucets turn on?" and started honking my boobs. FML
Today, my sister started lactating through her shirt post-breastfeeding at a family brunch. My husband, who gets turned on by pregnant women since he gets the most action during my pregnancies, visibly ogled her at the table. FML
Today, I was laying in bed with my boyfriend. He started caressing me, his eyes were closed, and he said, “I love touching your boobs.” Which was actually a roll of fat on my stomach. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch, he looked down at my chest and said, "I can't wait for the day that these produce milk." We've only been dating a few months, and I have no intention of lactating anytime soon. FML
Today, when done feeding my newborn, I stated to my husband that I'm a cow. He said, in a sincere tone, "Oh, baby, you'll lose the weight soon." I meant cow because I'm producing so much milk. FML
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Top comments
fadingaway 17
Kick him in the nuts and call him nutcracker.
Ariasmake_1 0
at least your boyfriend has a sense of humor
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Comments (142)
BubbaCatLove 0
YDI FOR BEING PREGNANT AND NOT HAVING ENOUGH EDUCATION TO SPELL "ANONYMOUS."
jinxthejinx 0
Seriously. Pshaw.
BubbaCatLove 0
My comment SHOULD NOT have been moderated. The only word I used was "hell." I bleeped out everything else. :| What, are you going to ban me from posting comments because we're in 3rd grade, now? Can't say "hell" or "crap"? Kind of frustrating, Mods. REALLY frustrating, Mods.
sallen0046 4
It's a username, dumbass. I'm sure the correct spelling had been taken for quite some time before OP signed up. Turn of your caps lock and get a clue.
jinxthejinx 0
She could have gotten a little creative & made up a different username like "anonymous11010010001" or "milktits"... Just sayin'...
coolsteve 0
or titjuicer
InfiltratedMind 0
oh I got one! milky way!!!
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Perhaps her name is Ana and it's a pun.
molil_4810 0
breast milk yummmmm zinggggg
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
"Tastes like... cantaloupe juice." >.<
Mauskau 36
ydi for getting pregnant with just a bf. fiancé atleast, man. that way you know he's not gonna leave you with the kid.
BonJovi821 3
Am I the only one bothered by the lowercase "L" at the end of the FML?
coolsteve 0
Nope it pissed me off too
sourgirl101 29
OCD much? The world is an imperfect world. Now go clean your messy bedrooms! (:
Kanvis78 0
Does anyone else not see the FML? Lactating is normal , breasts rock, no FML!
charbz 0
#40 spelled spelled wrong
TOL_fml 6
I can see where someone would get weirded out with this...but eventually you'll get over it
tmmundy 17
lmao....that's not a FML...that's just way to funny....at least he still wants u and hasn't left u like most bf's do when their gf get pregnant ....gl
Haterman123 0
9 lol he's a nutcracker and she's amilkey way they should invent milkey ways with nuts