Today, my boyfriend started to kiss my boobs. I am pregnant and started my lactation period. Now every time he looks at me he calls me milky way. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML
Today, I was woken up by my husband attempting to breastfeed off my lactating nipples. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend whilst straddled on top of him. He started to undo my bra. I was fine with this but he stopped kissing me and looked at me with a slight smile. He then said, "I know this is going to kill the mood... but I feel like I could milk your boobs right now" FML
Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML
Today, my husband and I were having sex for the first time since I had our son. As I was riding him in a heated passion, he grabbed my breasts. Milk literally shot out onto his face. Mood totally ruined. FML
Today, I announced my pregnancy to my husband. He responded with, "Well shit, when do these faucets turn on?" and started honking my boobs. FML
Today, my sister started lactating through her shirt post-breastfeeding at a family brunch. My husband, who gets turned on by pregnant women since he gets the most action during my pregnancies, visibly ogled her at the table. FML
Today, I was laying in bed with my boyfriend. He started caressing me, his eyes were closed, and he said, “I love touching your boobs.” Which was actually a roll of fat on my stomach. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch, he looked down at my chest and said, "I can't wait for the day that these produce milk." We've only been dating a few months, and I have no intention of lactating anytime soon. FML
Today, when done feeding my newborn, I stated to my husband that I'm a cow. He said, in a sincere tone, "Oh, baby, you'll lose the weight soon." I meant cow because I'm producing so much milk. FML
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Top comments
fadingaway 17
Kick him in the nuts and call him nutcracker.
Ariasmake_1 0
at least your boyfriend has a sense of humor
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Comments (142)
Solkre 0
The FML is being preggo with only a boyfriend...
iloveboyswittats 10
Marriage is only a piece of paper, if doesn't prove your love or commitment to a person. Trust me, my relationship with my bf is way stronger than it ever was with my ex husband, a piece of paper means nothing. Some people just don't see the need to get married
SpinozaQ 2
why is that? is it because you think everyone should subscribe to the same religious traditions you were indoctrinated into by your parents? Look at it this way. Break up, or divorce... it's going to be the same amount of child support.
InfiltratedMind 0
"religious indoctrination" I must ask what do Christians do to you guys? I get that some people are all "change now!!" blah blah blah. I'm just curious as to what they do
InfiltratedMind 0
"religious indoctrination" I must ask what do Christians do to you guys? I get that some people are all "change now!!" blah blah blah. I'm just curious as to what they do. oh and anti flood FTW
Subtext 10
It involves a corkscrew, a hammer, some needle and thread, blood from an innocent animal (any roadkill works), two bottles of rum (one for the indoctrinator, one for the vict...I mean acoly...no, our new brother) and someone to lure the cops into the wrong direction...
cheekywench 0
There is no lactation period in pregnancy. You may leak a little near the end of your pregnancy but that is only a thin water substance called colustrum(sp). Your milk comes in a few days after the baby is born.
nikkired 0
#59 is correct. Anyway thats so hot,did he continue to suck ?
monnanon 14
well i can assure you something was leaking from my boobs before the birth, whether it colostrum or not its still lactating
Stumblebum30 5
So what?
oldenuff2party 3
that's gross. major turn off
onexgun 0
this Is an mlia not fml...
Griggy 0
Was it chocolate milk?
roxy999_fml 0
hhh
Troll_Hater 0
lol your pregnant
nikalb3 0
as long as he keeps kissing who cares what he calls you
Doopliss01 0
That's disgusting..