Today, my boyfriend of a month and I had sex for the first time. We started in the shower and then moved to his bedroom. He then feel asleep when I was on top. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time in our relationship and it was great. He drove me back to my house and walked me to the door, then instead of kissing me goodbye he patted me on the back. Twice. FML
Today, I slept in my boyfriend's room for the first time. I also wet the bed for the first time in a decade. FML
Follow the script
Today, I had sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pocket. Turns out he'd written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML
Just once
Today, at last, my husband instigated sex for the first time since the honeymoon a few months ago when he started fondling me in bed. Then I realised he was asleep. FML
Today, I was finally having sex with the man of my dreams, and then he fell asleep on top of me. FML
Relaxed
Today, I was having really great sex with my boyfriend. I was on top and he seemed like he was really enjoying it. Then, I realized he'd fallen asleep. FML
Romance is dead
Today, I decided to have sex with with my boyfriend. After we had finished, I jokingly said, "Who's going to sleep in the wet patch?" He got up and said, "You're optimistic, I'm not staying. Oh, and I'm dumping you, that performance was disappointing." It was my first time. FML
Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML
Instructions
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "What do I do now?" FML
Top comments
omargosh 1
your fault.
butterflyhearts 0
its not really his fault. after guys cum they can get real tired. Has to do with testosterone... i think. I get tired after sex cuz of cumming all the time. really its not his fault. and for all of u who are saying that she's bad.... shut up. xoxo Perdix tell me if im right.
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Comments (148)
crazed_ostrich 0
One month? Classy.
ohlordyelizabeth 0
i love you for this.
Spac3Ghost 0
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i couldnt stop laughing at that point =) its amazing =) very nice!!
bmanholmes 3
nice lol
fmlloverrct 0
He then feel asleep? I believe it's he then fell asleep.
Spac3Ghost 0
haha shame... some people cant "speel" =) but at least you understood what the one monther said =) hahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!! one monthe =) niiiice... =)
elparto 0
Even if you're a guy, bad sex is just bad. Of course that statement just begs the question....but it's true.
Anthony1310 0
woooww that's ****** upp u prob. wasn't good at it
anqie 3
that happened to me i was on the bottom nd couldnt get him out nd couldnt get him out so i grabbed myfone nd called my guy friend i only kne the guys for a day nd a half nd i was only 11 very uncomfotable havin my him gettin the guy out of me
S4ssyK4t 18
11? Wow. Someone started early. Maybe you should've stayed at school rather then spreading your legs for guys you've only known a day and a half.
anqie 3
that happened to me i was on the bottom nd couldnt grt him out nd couldnt get him out so i grabbed myfone nd called my guy friend i only kne the guys for a day nd a half nd i was only 11 very uncomfotable havin my him gettin the guy out of me
BloodShard 0
That's disgusting. You little **** for having sex when your 11.
remy_xi 0
When YOU'RE eleven. It isn't that hard.
KingDingALing 9
hahahaahahahaaha me neither. I only understood the part where she said something about getting a guy off of her. the rest is like a second language to me
freaxxy 0
jerk >:(
kassi4596 0
one month? ugh that's disgusting
jesswhit2012 0
hahahahahahahahhahahahaa! :) that's funny.
maddiec_fml 0
first not true. second your boyfriend of a month?? okay really what the he'll has happened to this world?does anyone even care about what the true meaning of sex is??? seriously it's sad.
CaptaiNiLL 0
no one wants to wait for marraige it's a sad thing cuz stds spread and babies with no rents are born