Today, my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years still refuses to memorize my phone number or remember my birthday because he says there is a limited amount of space in his brain and he does not want to push any important information out. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend decided that lunch with his guys was more important than spending time with me. This is the second year in a row that he has cancelled on me. How do I remember the date so well? It's my birthday. FML
Today, I found a notebook labeled "IMPORTANT INFO" in my boyfriend's nightstand. Looking in, I saw he'd written down a bunch of information about me, like my birthday and things I like. When I asked, he said, "I'm forgetful and didn't want to accidentally be a dick." FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend can name each and every Pokémon, but can't remember my birthday. FML
Today, my boyfriend caught me in a lie about being on my period. He memorized my menstrual cycle, but still forgot that today is my birthday. FML
Today, my boyfriend of two years told me I was being too obsessive. This is the guy who has gone through my phone two separate times and deleted all of my male contacts. FML
Today, it’s my birthday. Not only did my boyfriend of 5 years forget, when I reminded him, he said very unenthusiastically, “Oh, Happy Birthday.” When I said, “That’s it?” he got annoyed and said,“Well, what else do you want me to tell you?” FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a conversation about the lack of communication in our relationship. I told him that sometimes I feel like he doesn't really care about me at all. If he did, he would listen more. His response? "I know your name, don't I?" FML
Today, it’s my birthday. My boyfriend of almost 4 years completely forgot. FML
Today, I was talking with my friend-turned boyfriend and cutely told him that I could no longer remember all the things that he used to do that bothered me. He told me he could remember every one of mine and listed them all off for me. FML
Today, my boyfriend forgot our anniversary. But it's okay; I wasn't expecting anything after he forgot my birthday, Valentine's Day, and my name. FML
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Top comments
Ukeee_X 19
Forget where his **** is located. You've only got so much space in your brain. You've got to forget about all the small, insignificant things.
chefinheels88 5
His brain must be super tiny
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Comments (121)
chefinheels88 5
His brain must be super tiny
barcalover 2
yup he must b blonde. tehe sorry to all the blondes. :)
CatEyes66 0
Well that's smart of him to think that.
taazer 12
actuatly people with small brains are smarter than people with bigger brains... so i think he has a very very very big brain :D
ZombieeeeUnicorn 1
that's not the only thing that must be tiny. *sigh* so overused...
nromanyuk 4
actually the size of the brain has nothing to do with how smart a person is.
cwissi 5
it doesnt matter how big his brain is. he's just plain stupid
BIEBERSLAYER 10
no he's a genius op can never bitch about him not texting or calling her and he'll never have to worry about a birthday present.
OWNZ 0
it's the perfect plan! this guy is like the einstein of relationships! How did no one think of this before?!?
anorexicbarbie 8
Le sigh, I was late and now everyone is saying "dump him". Well OP, the number thing sort of baffles me because I'm sure your boyfriend calls you enough to have known your number subconsciously, I don't get how he could "refuse" to memorize it. The birthday thing is definitely something you two should discuss. Don't worry guys, I actually read the FML this time. :P *reads over comment 583992 times to make sure that none of my herp derpness accidentally slipped through*
dummbrunette 0
He can remember how much inches he is but yet he can't remember your birthday? Nice information he's stored in there, sounds like a keeper
dummbrunette 0
3, read the username. uh daww :D
linstar 13
and his penis must be super huge if you are willing to put up with that shit for this long.
theten_fml 9
if that was true, he'd be the man with a plan
dolphincheddar 10
some people have bad memories. deal with it
rallets 23
didnt homer simpson say that?
WallyTheWombat 0
39, I hardly remember any numbers no matter how many times I call them. I usually input it into my cellphone once, then I pretty much see a name when I call people.
raney150 0
well generally yes. as you learn things your brain shrinks in size, or it appears so because your brain creates a new wrinkle every time you learn. but a bigger brain still doesn't mean dumber. some people just naturally have bigger brains
Kadel0113 0
ok chill guys it was a joke
scar97 0
that's pretty much a homer quote.
idontcare8l 3
soooo dumb people have small brains?? am i the only one thinking this is getting really off topic
abnormalbird 11
actually it is the amount of wrinkles in the brain that matter so his brain must be super smooth
Ukeee_X 19
Forget where his **** is located. You've only got so much space in your brain. You've got to forget about all the small, insignificant things.
CommonSenseKarma 17
Wait, we're dating?
CareFace 16
Zing.
ImaWiseGuy 5
I bet your bf's one of those people that makes your I.q. drop everytime he speaks....
itsgen 16
or she can also dump him ;D
Pawned71 0
-2 or forget how to put on a condom
BIEBERSLAYER 10
he can't possibly forget important things like the lyrics to garden grove by sublime
Ukeee_X 19
If it wasn't for date rape I'd never get laid...
dolphincheddar 10
i would.
cameron194 9
lolyour an idiot
herzskins 0
That's why we have cell phones. Nothing needs to be memorized!
nromanyuk 4
it's obviously just an excuse.
ii_tayman 0
no shit it's an excuse
22cute 17
Not an excuse. He's exactly right. Einstein did the same thing!!
lcecreamNSadness 2
And Facebook for Birthdays.
ritzbits 0
Lies! Dump him.
metalhead5564 0
Least you know where you stand with him. What an asshole!
shadevil75 6
You must love the way he treats you and talks to you since you've been with him for 2 1/2 years.
samanthanicolee 0
yeah and you still call him your boyfriend so.. you'll get over it in no time
NikkiFlysKites 8
Seriously, OP completely deserves this for not leaving him and then whining about what an ass/idiot he is. Noted that she didn't call him an ass or an idiot.
lcecreamNSadness 2
If it wasn't for him , you wouldn't have a FML post either.
OcampoFTW 4
is he possibly the other guy that knows all the Pokemon names?
Blackhandles 0
Birthday The location of the antidote Pick 1 OP.
foilindo 0
tell him that you'll forget to "please" him if doesn't stop being a dumb ass. lol