Today, my boyfriend kept whining at me, asking why I wouldn't have sex with him, seemingly not caring that my parents were in the room. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML
Today, my boyfriend snuck out of my room so he could have sex with my mom in the next room. FML
Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home he was masturbating. FML
Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home, he was masturbating. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and, in the heat of the moment, I cried out for him to go harder. He then had an exasperated expression on his face, and, in an adamantly offended tone, said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he left the room. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when he finished, seemingly angry. He stood there naked complaining for 15 minutes about how our sex sucked. Then he demanded that I dress him, because "it's my fault his clothes were off in the first place". FML
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
Today, while having dinner, my boyfriend decided to tell everyone about our sex life. It wouldn't have been too bad except my father was sitting right next to me. My boyfriend's excuse was that he wanted to make my dad laugh. He didn't laugh. FML
Today, my boyfriend hasn’t asked for sex in a while, like months, and when I asked him about it he admitted that every day I shout at him, snap at him or act bitchy about anything not his fault, he has a wank and goes to sleep rather than bother asking me for sex. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house and sat around while he played video games. He turned to me and could see I was annoyed. Then he told his friends on XBox Live that he needed a 10 minute break to have sex with me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Bolter197 0
Don't date douchebags.
yankfan89 27
Don't sleep with him for a month for being a whiny bitch.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (183)
psuedodragon 23
OP, I think it's time to act upon the wish you used as your name...
chili10 18
Did I write this? Because this same thing happened yesterday. Apparently no means "please keep asking because maybe once I'm in a boiling rage I'll change my mind."
NUKE5011 1
Someone doesn't know the meaning of seemingly
maphineRAWRS 10
Why do people do that?! Don't they feel weird around the parents with that sort of thing? Don't people have respect for boundarys anymore?!
hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14
It's disgusting! I was working the other day and a girl no older than 12 came in with her mom. Then came her boyfriend and they made out the entire time her mother was ordering. It made my skin crawl.
SpencerAlsey 2
You're hella cute
alival 12
I take it your parents loooove him
CaptainPickles72 18
I don't understand how any guy can have sex with a girl who kept saying no. (I'm not talking about rape, I'm talking about if the girl actually broke down and screwed the dude) I mean, if I asked my girlfriend to have sex, or started trying to get her in the mood, and she says no, I'll stop! If she did end up having sex with me after saying no many times, I'd feel like she'd only be doing it to shut me up, and that she wasn't really enjoying it...
Courtney_Sanders 6
There needs to be more men like you in the world.
melibear89 7
Men like you are few are far between. Why can't there be more respectful guys like you?
RedPillSucks 33
There are lots of guys like this. Unfortunately, they don't get girlfriends because girls like to go after the "bad boys".
Devin91 20
That's extremely awkward don't date 13 year olds.
Courtney_Sanders 6
It's not only 13 year olds that do things like that. Men/boys of all ages do it.
curly1022 1
Classy.
Sab0026 0
Leave Him.
phantumgrey 6
Why exactly are you not putting out?! He should dump you
Colonel_Lexi 18
I hope you don't have a mate, 64.
IdfkMyUsernamexC 5
Well said, 66.
nfjskcbdkdjdjdn 2
Wowww… you're a desperate douchebag. Relationships aren't purely for sex, asswipe. I hope you die alone.
monkiki62 5
Yeah u better guard ur nuts. ( his pro pic ). U meet a girl and say that and ur boys will be the first to go.
Dracoboxer357 36
64- Allow me to attempt to answer your question with a possibility: Perhaps she's not his personal *****-on-command? Maybe OP's an actual person and not just a piece of meat he purchased off the slave market? Or maybe she desires to date people for an equal relationship that isn't solely based around sex? If none of these possibilities occurred to you and you weren't being sarcastic, I pity any woman foolish enough to date you, since your comment suggests you don't want an actual relationship, you wish to own a pet. I sincerely hope I am mistaken and have misjudged you too quickly, my friend. :(