Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his parents. My boyfriend is Japanese, and I wanted to introduce myself in Japanese so I'd asked him. Little did I know he'd taught me how to say, "Hello, I love your son's cock." I almost got kicked out of their house. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was introducing my boyfriend to my parents for the first time. I meant to say, "Mom, Dad, this is Tom." Instead, I said, "Mom, Dad, this is Mom." My boyfriend is now jokingly reconsidering our relationship, and my parents won't stop making fun of me. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Son, I want you to suck upon my nipples of knowledge." FML
Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his parents and siblings for the first time. Their first reaction was, "Oh? You're her? All this time we thought you're some cartoon character from yet another lousy anime he keeps babbling about." FML
Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his friends as his "sex partner." FML
Today, I was invited by my boyfriend's parents for dinner at their house. The dinner went well I thought, until I was getting ready to leave. Before I could make it out the front door, I could hear them discussing their disappointment that their son would ever consider someone like me. FML
Today, I brought my Japanese girlfriend home for dinner with my family for the first time. They all got drunk and made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us. My dad forgot her name and started calling her "Rice Ball" instead. FML
Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents. We've been dating for almost 5 months and are extremely in love. His mom basically said to me, "I want what’s best for my son and you aren’t it." FML
Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents for the first time. My dad took one look at him, sighed and said, "You deserve someone better. Someone who is responsible, and has their priorities straight in life." Beyond upset, I told my dad that I love him. My dad disgruntledly responded, "I was talking to him." FML
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Top comments
hol18 5
Lol! If your boyfriend actually taught you that, knowing how his parents would react, reevaluate your relationship.
Thelnternet 7
^ because correcting a piece of text restores faith in humanity.
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Comments (159)
ositoakaluis 16
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
dammmmmm you should of used pirate bay to download Rosetta
dominic1221 6
You sound like you need it more than the OP.
MelTheGreat 23
The grammar Nazi in me cringes at your sentence.
CaptainSaveAHoe 11
*sigh* where do I begin? *Damn, *should have *Pirate Bay *Rosetta Stone. Hopefully this restores some faith in humanity.
Thelnternet 7
^ because correcting a piece of text restores faith in humanity.
CaptainSaveAHoe 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
*cough* you're a dick! *cough cough*
Thelnternet 7
^ because replying to a post implies that i am a dick
detroitsucks247 3
^Because ending a string of comments is fun.
kegande 0
^Because I agree with that guy
starbucksguy 16
#32 you also missed that "damn", when used as a minor expletive, has an "n" at the end of it...the grammar (and spelling) Nazi in me is now sated
ClassyCommando 13
Rosetta Stone isn't very good anyway, even if you download it for free, and it's particularly bad for Japanese.
nictransitglory 4
58 is kind of right, download pimslar (I think that is how it's spelled). It's good and you can put it on your phone and listen to it.
echoes185 9
Konnichiwa, hajimemashite. (good afternoon, nice to meet you)
LiterOfCola 16
32: Correcting people's grammar is only for when you're the one to comment on it first. People already commented about 1's grammar, so it was unnecessicary for you to comment. It surely never helped to restore any faith to humanity, a phrase that has begun to enrage me as its so overused.
LiterOfCola 16
I don't know how I managed to spell unnecessary like that. Damn I was close to making a point haha
JustDerpin 11
OP should've just used Google Translate.
BeforeItWasCool 12
Wow, well done 1. You figured out how to use a torrent site. You've mastered the internet! God damn it, I hate noob kids who think torrenting makes you a damn pro at all things technical.
pokefan813 16
Woah, 113. Slow down. 1 is only a year younger than you.
LiterOfCola 16
124: I'm glad you laughed :) I actually like the Grammar Nazis, though, aside from the ones that think they're awesome because of it (32).
hol18 5
Lol! If your boyfriend actually taught you that, knowing how his parents would react, reevaluate your relationship.
Climaxx 11
Agreed. Although I bet he's still pissing himself with laughter over it.. It's the little things..
CaptainSaveAHoe 11
If you're reading this, stop reading the comments. The ones below this are going to make you lose whatever shred of faith in humanity you have left. Not including replies to this comment.
Pleonasm 36
33- Why did you tell me not to read? I had to read!
Thelnternet 7
33, please stop posting comments until you can think of something better to type.
walmartpaysme 15
Someone punch 33 in his "fap-stick".
ClassyCommando 13
44's right. We are currently using a global network that humans have built, and posting stories and comments online that people all over the world can read. And yet whiny little ***** keep saying that they've lost all faith in humanity after reading the comments of a few idiots in this vast network.
gc327072 31
33- So you're going around bashing minor grammar mistakes and acting all cool and intellectual while your own profile says you live in "****" and you "save hoes with (your) dick"? Please refer to my avatar for assistance.
thewiseguy13 0
Who has faith in humanity?
walmartpaysme 15
For the record, "captainsaveahoe" was the name of the OP of the FML where the guy knocked the girl over then caught her and got punched in his "fapstick".
MDTeddy 13
This is why people hate hanging around parents. They ruins lives be either being dumb, mean, drunk, or something that makes you feel like dying of embarrassment or getting mad at the parent or from being scared and wetting yourself if you are on the other end.
TomPusslicker 21
Well put 44. Sadly though i do see more assholes now than i did 3 years ago (at the same job)...thats my observation, but regardless, its best just tolerate them and not play into it.
sonic19951 6
And you are the reason faith is being lost. Yes, you are a dumshit by your own words.
w0rk3rj4ck 14
I'm not sure how that happened. Did he teach you for this sentence on purpose? Did he want you to say this to them? Also, didn't you realize this sentence didn't contain your name? That's kind of a part of an introduction...
onlychildFTW 34
It was probably the BF wanting her to say it. And I'm sure that if you were learning a completely different language from the one you're dating you'd trust them.
RinaVampire31 18
Are you kidding 3? Just stop.
starbucksguy 16
#3 she might have thought that her boyfriend taught her how to say "hello, I'm your sons girlfriend"...
w0rk3rj4ck 14
true, didn't think of that.
FMLKitten 15
And you couldn't introduce yourself in English why?
FMLKitten 15
..touché.
Sirin_fml 47
Ugh. Wait a second... Someone do me a favour: check to see if "50 Shades of Chimney" has been trademarked yet. There's a free chewed-up ballpoint pen in it for you.
lazrus_fml 2
8- you are my hero!!!
lazrus_fml 2
Alan is my hero!!!!!!
kittytub 12
Alan, you know you love all of us, dumb, tasty chipmunks included. ;) meow.
hotshot2626 9
Haha your boyfriend has a great sense of humor. He just needs to apply it a lil differently. Don't be too hard on him ;)
damnu 3
Agreed !
tne201992 12
Are you kidding me?!!! Even if it was joke, it was immature for him to do that. His parents probably thought she was some ***** at first..
hotshot2626 9
I agree. hence why I put " He just needs to apply it a lil differently". I honestly wonder if anyone who thumbed me down read the whole comment or just read the line and went "omgzors, I can't believe he thinks that's funny."
PinkieKeen 20
This is why google translation comes in handy
BlackBlazeCobra 16
Google translate is a poor excuse for actual conversations though. "Hello, my name is so-and-so, how are you?" could translate to "Hello, *insert ridiculous word or profanity here* is name, how hot you are!" (obviously exaggerated) But yeah the point is, don't rely on Google or any instant online translator. Not every word in English is going to be exactly the same in another language. Buy a book, invest in a downloadable program, take a class or something.
rs89 20
I think if I were in OP's shoes I'd have trusted an actual japanese native speaker - not to mention bf- over any kind of translators.
cobra_comm 12
Ummm, the point here is: she deserves it, as for in this time era of technology there really is no excuse for her to have not used something to check what she was saying or vice versa
walmartpaysme 15
30 - she never thought her boyfriend would tell her to say something that would offend his parents. That doesn't make any sense unless he is A. Trying to scare her away or B. 12
owo_fml 9
Japanese doesn't use a roman alphabet. OP woulda had a hard time popping that phrase into Google Translate anyway.
cathyfang1533 12
94-It's called kanji but it's not entirely phonetic. Plus OP could have just put in English and translate that to Japanese.
btstig 11
Lmao. Your old man is awesome.
cosmosis 12
Re-read the FML Chief.
brianjman14 23
Old man means boyfriend, too.
EyesofStone 27
102, really...? That's kinda creepy...
Malkria 1
Love ops name... lovefetish8021 XD
Krirn 21
Ignore this comment that was supposed to be deleted along with the comment it was meant to be a response to.
Thelnternet 7
you should of almost got his **** kicked out of the house
Grimmerie 31
1) Uh, what? 2) *should have, *gotten, *.
Thelnternet 7
^ if you're going to correct me, then at least do it correctly.
Faelwyn 3
*Got* is actually perfectly acceptable, 45. Saying "gotten" is an American thing.
shushu26 20
The proper term is "should have", not "should of". Learn English, please.
Krirn 21
I wonder if he thought that through.
thundergirl_fml 2
Apparently he has no intentions of the relationship going anywhere if he thinks it's amusing for the introduction to the parents to go so poorly