Anonymous
United States
Today, my boyfriend informed me that in the event of a zombie apocalypse, he'd kill me before I got infected. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
DeadScared
Canada
Good to know
Today, my boyfriend kindly informed me that if I ever got bitten during a zombie apocalypse, he'd love me enough to beat me to death with a tire iron. He said this because he's been having vivid dreams about it happening. I honestly don't know whether he's joking or not. FML
Anonymous
Minneapolis, United States
Today, I overheard my husband telling his friend that he wished a zombie apocalypse would happen in real life, so he could take me out back and shoot me without having to worry about going to prison. FML
Anonymous
Walsall, United Kingdom
Today, a baseball bat fell on my head while my boyfriend and I were cuddling. The same baseball bat that he keeps next to the bed, because he genuinely fears a zombie outbreak. FML
zombieguyswife
Branson, United States
Today, I found out that the only way I can convince my husband to start working out is by convincing him that we are training for when the "zombie outbreak" happens. FML
Abendigo77
Healdsburg, United States
Today, my vegan boyfriend told me that if he were forced to kill either his cat or me, he'd kill me because he "would never kill an animal." FML
sabrinatarmine_
Carmel Valley, United States
Today, I told my boyfriend I had diabetes. He won't talk to me anymore because he thinks I'll infect him with it. FML
TBTC
Le G?vre, France
Today, I was out apartment hunting with my boyfriend. We visited a marvelous place that ticked all the boxes on our requirement checklist, but my boyfriend was unenthused. There was just one small detail that I hadn’t factored in: it's very badly located if ever zombies attack. FML
purged
Mechanicsville, United States
Today, my boyfriend and I watched the new movie "The Purge." After the movie, I jokingly asked him that if the U.S. had such a purge in real life, would he participate, and who would he kill first. Without missing a beat, he said, "you." FML
drake86
Helensburgh, United Kingdom
Today, I got genuinely annoyed at myself when I realised I probably lack the skills to survive a Zombie apocalypse. FML
scaredy cat
Wuss
Today, my boyfriend is completely obsessed with zombie and horror movies. I don’t care what he watches, the only problem is the big wuss has horrible thrashing nightmares. Last night he thrashed so hard, he elbowed me in the face. I have a big swollen purple knot right on my forehead. FML
Top comments
damienwatkins 0
how cute
Rota 0
That's love.
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Comments (278)
capilot 10
My favorite dialog from RvB: Sir, you don't have a zombie attack plan do you? No, I don't have a plan. I have thirty seven of them Wow, sir. If there's ever a zombie uprising, I'm going to stick with you. Not a good idea Simmons. Thirty six of them involve throwing YOU to the zombies.
Macho_Madness 0
you got that completeley wrong: doc: hey sarge do you have a quote zombie plan un quote? sarge: a zombie plan? hell no i have thirty seven zombie plans griff: now thats preparation sarge: i wouldnt say that griff, thirty six of the thrity seven involve me using your fresh meat as bait as i escape the zombie horde. griff: well atleast theres one where i dont die sarge: in the last one i knowingly infect myself with the zombie virus so i can have the pleasure of devouring you myself. thats how it goes more or less i got some of the un important bits a little bit wrong but you were way off
Star18lk 0
Aww, That's cute(: I'd want my boyfriend to do the same! This isn't an FML!!!
Starfire22 5
tsk tsk sir robin, tsk tsk *shakes head* ^.^
sevlen 0
i think he was joking like ur to pritty to be a zombie or something
Slightmisshap 0
your a very luck lady
kirakira333 0
aw! that's sweet in a weird kind of way :)
Stalker191 0
That's what you get for not having a zombie plan!
StrangelyNormal 0
you know that's a compliment, right? He could have meant it like it sounded, but I think it's a compliment.
jones91 0
hahahahaha my husband has told me this as well.
Seddah 3
You have an awesome husband. =)
jones91 0
lol he's the goofiest guy ever.
Seddah 3
You two sound like a sweet and hilarious couple =)
tisiphone_fml 0
Way to (not) have confidence in her zombie-killing ability! Only promise to kill her -after- she gets infected! The other way around means he thinks she's the blonde who dies in the first 10 minutes of the movie! ;p