Today, I was at the gym and saw an old friend. I have put on a lot of muscle in the past few months, and she said to me "Wow, you've really gotten big." Just by habit I said "You too." Turns out she's gained 45 lbs since I'd last seen her. Oops. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got to see my best friend for the first time in months. Her first reaction was to say, "Wow, you gained a lot of weight." I actually lost a fair bit. FML
Today, I went to a high school reunion. An old friend I hadn't seen in a while suddenly came up to me and gasped, "Oh, thank God!" I was about to greet her and catch up when she added, "I'm not the only one who gained weight!" FML
Today, I went to the store and ran into an old friend that I hadn't seen in years. We chatted a little, and just as I was leaving he grabbed his mobile phone. Later, I added him on Facebook. Turns out the last thing he posted was a picture of my back saying: "Look who got even fatter." FML
Today, I saw my friend's ex and noticed she had gained a ton of weight since he dated her and had been dating someone else. It reminded me of my friend, so I messaged him and made a joke about her being unrecognizable. He informed me that they started seeing each other again last week. FML
Today, my friend was complaining to me that she's gained 20 pounds and it's all gone to her butt and boobs. Meanwhile, I've also gained 20 pounds, and it's gone straight to my stomach. She looks better than she did before. FML
Today, I ran into a former co-worker who I hadn't seen in years. She was raving at how I hadn't aged a bit, but before I could thank her she said, "But, you know, chubby people age better." FML
Today, I weighed myself for the first time in a while and confirmed that I have put on a few pounds. I was feeling a bit down about it. I went to work and on arriving a workmate I hadn't seen in a while gave me a hug. She said, "I love hugging you, you're so nice and squishy." FML
Today, I greeted my boss with, "Looking good, did you lose weight?" He responded that no, he'd just purchased larger pants. FML
Today, I complimented my mom with "Hey, I think you lost some weight." She replied with "Yeah, I think you found it." FML
Today, I went to the gym and worked out with a trainer. While doing arm exercises he commented on how impressed he was with the size of my triceps. That really boosted my self-confidence, until he leaned in to feel them and said, "Oh, it's just fat." FML
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Top comments
FernandoTorres_fml 0
To rephrase this FML: Today, I told the truth. There were no consequences. FML.
Emperor_Jim 0
Um... so ******' what? She's gotten bigger, and you correctly stated this fact. Big deal.
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Comments (90)
stickwoman 0
first!!!
stickwoman 0
why has my first comment been removed?
metalfan333 0
because....Im Old Gregg!!!!!
wordgirl 0
'Cause you're a dumbasssssss.
braeleigh_king 0
ha trruuee that.
Billbo23 0
yes
bobnorris 0
ha
Host2phats 21
BURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRN!!!!!!
killerviral 0
first lol that's funny
stickwoman 0
no I'm first. sorry :(
angrynegro7 16
LOL! You don't seem TOO broken up over it!
Julianneisasmurf 0
aww poor her and poor you :/
Emperor_Jim 0
Um... so ******' what? She's gotten bigger, and you correctly stated this fact. Big deal.
comedychick 1
um no not so what buddy if you don't have something nice to say keep it to ur self that's a dick move
Reyo 2
Yes, because the OP was INTENTIONALLY making a comment about her weight. Moron...
Sinisin2010 0
Is it such a bad thing that you are honest. No one is honest anymore and it sickens me, tell people what they want to hear rather then the truth. Honesty is the best policy, anyone hear of that!
howie321 0
I'll be honest with you 88, your a chicken shit. muff said.
nightslayer 6
agreed
kagrahamcracka 9
Seriously. People are either really nice and lie about everything or they are complete assholes. Why can't more people just be honest?
fogrunner 13
So? Had she perchance gained it in muscles? :)
bananapajama 0
women don't gain 45 pounds of muscle.
sum1savemeh 0
obviously it's not muscle ppl
janise 2
I believe bananapajama meant women can't gain 45 pounds in muscle in the course of a few months naturally. There's nothing sexist about assuming someone doesn't take drugs and it's also not sexist to state that because women can't gain that much muscle naturally since we don't have enough testosterone. That's not sexism that's biology.
jculb88 0
well...you told the truth. f her life
FernandoTorres_fml 0
To rephrase this FML: Today, I told the truth. There were no consequences. FML.
V_S234 0
lmao
FearlessLeader 0
@11: hahahahahahaha I like your version better lol
buckleB 0
hahaXD
TheMalygos 21
So why do our mothers tell us to tell the truth?
uxoriouswidow 0
Spin it as a bit of innocent humour, no harm done.
willowbeauty 0
Oh yes, because that will make it SO much better. Geez, idiot.
Thunderbender 2
You're right # 16, unless of course he was joking but its not like that was completely obvious or anything oh wait...
realggirl 0
I can see this happening because I have said "You too" when people said Happy birthday or something that doesn't pertain to them. FYL.
hehe_oops 2
haha I do the same thing I had a guy compliment my hair once, and I said "thanks I like yours too" he was bald.…
iheart655 0
haha "Happy birthday!", "You too!" awkwaaardd..hahah
Chopperman_fml 0
I do the same thing with "thank you"...any time someone thanks me for something, I thank them back by reflex. I have my old summer job to thank for that...