Today, my boyfriend gave me my first compliment in months. Apparently my body spray makes me smell like a stripper. He then asked me if he could "park the beef bus in tuna town". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML
Today, my boyfriend went to the aquarium. We were noticing the fishy smell, and I had made a comment about it. Then my boyfriend slowly, and seductively whispers into my ear, "It sort of reminds me of how you smell." FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend and his friends talking in the next room. I smiled when my boyfriend called me beautiful, only to hear his friend laugh and say, "C'mon, dude. She has fat ankles and smells like deli meat." FML
Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML
Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML
Today, I tried on a new perfume. When my boyfriend hugged me, he commented that I smelled like his mom. I don't know who was more surprised by the simultaneous bulge in his pants. FML
Today, my loving fiancé informed me that my new perfume makes me smell like a urinal cake. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like his grandma's house. FML
Today, I was telling my boyfriend how proud I am of him for finding a really good job. He interrupted me to tell me that my breath smelled like his cat's. FML
Today, we went to the mall and my husband picked me out some perfume. When I asked him why he liked that particular one, he responded with, "That's what's the stripper at my bachelor party was wearing." He was completely serious. FML
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Top comments
KamilleBlack 3
Oh, honey, that guy is terrible.
skyeyez9 25
dump him! A man who says shit like that is probably a lousy lay and clueless how to please a woman sexually.
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Comments (86)
rlet 1
your first compliment in months????? WTF!!! I'm going to say YDI for dating this jerk usually at the bf/gf stage the couple is most of the time giving compliments to each other you deserve better than that idiot
vlad259_fml 0
Dump. Him.
Bravesman16 0
I don't care who you that shit is funny!
skullychicky 0
**** yea it is XD
lalindsaymarie 1
Time for a new boyfriend.
TherinOak 0
Definitely time for a new boyfriend. Ditch him now.
DANKshank 0
Break up with him or shut up.. you obviously don't enjoy his humor.
the_sodomizer 0
he's awesome learn to see the funny shit in life
littlegolferboy 4
FYL for dating a guy who hasn't complimented you in months and not breaking up with him.
LemonStarship 5
Does he let his meat loaf?
k43L1 0
hahahhahhaa that's funny! wow, I can't believe he hasn't complimented you in months, that's a real bad sign :( And I would think that smelling like a stripper is an insult, because what you smell is their sweaty feet near the poles, or so I've been told :P