Today, my boyfriend gave me my first compliment in months. Apparently my body spray makes me smell like a stripper. He then asked me if he could "park the beef bus in tuna town". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML
Today, my boyfriend went to the aquarium. We were noticing the fishy smell, and I had made a comment about it. Then my boyfriend slowly, and seductively whispers into my ear, "It sort of reminds me of how you smell." FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend and his friends talking in the next room. I smiled when my boyfriend called me beautiful, only to hear his friend laugh and say, "C'mon, dude. She has fat ankles and smells like deli meat." FML
Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML
Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML
Today, I tried on a new perfume. When my boyfriend hugged me, he commented that I smelled like his mom. I don't know who was more surprised by the simultaneous bulge in his pants. FML
Today, my loving fiancé informed me that my new perfume makes me smell like a urinal cake. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like his grandma's house. FML
Today, I was telling my boyfriend how proud I am of him for finding a really good job. He interrupted me to tell me that my breath smelled like his cat's. FML
Today, we went to the mall and my husband picked me out some perfume. When I asked him why he liked that particular one, he responded with, "That's what's the stripper at my bachelor party was wearing." He was completely serious. FML
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Top comments
KamilleBlack 3
Oh, honey, that guy is terrible.
skyeyez9 25
dump him! A man who says shit like that is probably a lousy lay and clueless how to please a woman sexually.
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Comments (86)
African_diva 0
lol this is more of a WTF moment. not FML
clandestine77 0
Not funny.
werzal 5
Agreed! Not Funny. Totally, Utterly, Disgusting and wrong! Where did he come up with a phrase like that? Probably from some stripper! Did he think it would turn you on?? I hope you didnt let him 'park'
EatUrGreens 20
I think I would have cried with laughter to be honest, where the hell do you get catchphrases like that lmao
KamilleBlack 3
Oh, honey, that guy is terrible.
kindasortayeah 25
A lot of people mat be saying this, but it definitely seem like you should end the relationship. If he can't even give you a compliment without ridiculing you, you don't need a man like that. He should treat you with the respect you deserve.
Kay_Ell_Dee 0
Your boyfriend sounds like a jerk!!
JERKKMONKEY 0
baha he probally goes around and smells strippers xD
magenkyo 0
he is efing awesome **** him **** him!!!
what_the_fail 0
Your boyfriend wins! Give him some victory sex.
10_4Franky 0
This reminds me of the FML where the GF is giving the BF a ********, and he says suck that **** meat sandwich.
skyeyez9 25
dump him! A man who says shit like that is probably a lousy lay and clueless how to please a woman sexually.
marc_with_a_c 3
And you're dating that guy? Seriously you can probably find someone better..
mercedeslove 0
LOL the beef bus in Tuna town!
Anthrophobia 2
Bahaha!!