Today, my boyfriend discovered how to make me queef on demand when he has his fingers inside me. I now feel like my love life has been replaced with fart sounds. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. When we finished, he mentioned that he made me queef. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I actually farted during sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend found out it makes a funny fart sound when he blows hard into my mouth in the middle of making out. I can't get him to stop doing it every time we kiss. FML
Today, my boyfriend discovered you can send sound clips as text messages. So far I've heard 5 of his farts in the past half hour. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time and we were alone. He was being super romantic and snuggling with me, and then out of nowhere he let out the biggest fart I've ever heard. He then explained how I should try to compete with it. FML
Today, my boyfriend discovered that I fart when I'm tickled enough. The best part was when he decided to show his family. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. All the magic vanished when I kept queefing every time he thrust into me. We made it about 10 seconds before he broke down into hysterical laughter and lost his boner. FML
Today, my hubby thought he made me queef during sex. I was too embarrassed ro tell him it was a fart I was holding in, but couldn’t once I orgsmed. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I finally had sex. The entire time he kept begging me to fart, especially on him. FML
Today, my boyfriend endearingly told me that he's been taking advantage of my inability to smell due to a head cold, and he's been farting around me whenever he pleases. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex, but every time he thrust into me, he farted. Loud, smelly, wet farts. After a minute, I shoved him off and demanded he take a dump. After a full five minutes of loud diarrhea, he came back to bed, his ass stinking of sewage. My pussy dried up so fast… FML
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Top comments
bestnameright 14
Reminds me of the FML where the girl pees when the boyfriend touches her in the belly button.
petitezombie_fml 0
Is your boyfriend sixteen?
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Comments (122)
skyeyez9 25
Too bad you can't squeeze his penis and make it fart. Its not fair!
BlowinChronic 18
I think I'd go soft almost immediately...
Senseless_487 29
Think about what 73 said, and you'll know how most girls feel when they queef. It's usually an instant mood killer.
Steve95401 49
OP's boyfriend is turning her into a fist puppet.
kaizersfan 8
hahaha that's nasty
amerikaninfidel 2
Just try to "queef" him a few times, I bet he would stop then.
seg7533 1
Eh. I can do that on command anyway. No biggie. He'll get tired of it eventually.
rebelliousshroom 12
I would dump the dork...
kayaker83 4
I honestly don't understand some guys. You could always do the same on his butt hole and see if he likes it ;)
sheldon_cooper_fml 10
Queef rhymes with beef!! Enjoy your dinner mothafuckaaas
ICastillo 25
Yeah I didn't mean body appearance, but how our body reacts to certain things which we still shouldn't be embarrassed, but you're right. You can put the claws away I gladly surrender my side of the argument.
emoshadow47 9
Well thats because your love life has been replaced by farts sounds...