Today, my boyfriend came in my room dressed as Harry Potter and declared that he was going to put his basilisk into my chamber of secrets. And yes, that was my first time. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML
Today, I found out there's a Harry Potter club at my school. My boyfriend is in it. FML
Today, my boyfriend finally convinced me to watch Harry Potter for the first time. I was bored out of my mind the entire time, and by about an hour in, all I could think about was how badly I wanted to punch Hermione for being a rude little know it all. FML
Today, as I snuck downstairs for a midnight movie, I witnessed my dad "polishing his wand" to Harry Potter porn in the living room. FML
Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML
Today, I went to see the new Harry Potter movie with my boyfriend. Feeling an intense need to pee, he decided to sacrifice a few minutes of the movie before the highly-anticipated final combat to get some relief. He went through the wrong door, locking himself out. Right until the end. FML
Today, it was my first time with my boyfriend, at his house, in his Dora the Explorer sheets. FML
Today, I was going on a first date with a girl I really like. We were going to see the new Harry Potter movie, and she told me she was getting all dressed up. It was only after I picked her up I realized she meant that she was dressing nicely. I was dressed as Harry Potter. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he was going to buy me a "magic wand". Being a Harry Potter fanatic, I assumed he meant a replica wand. It turns out he actually meant a Magic Wand vibrator. I was more excited about the HP wand. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that my fantasy was for him to eat me out on the dinner table. My boyfriend told me his was me in a Pikachu costume. FML
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Top comments
PimpinPenguin 0
You should have cast an enlargement spell on him
JoeDotPadilla 0
It coulda been worse. He coulda been Voldemort.
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Comments (235)
kirbz 0
hahha kinky freak XD
voice_of_reasonx 0
OP, your bf is made of WIN
Sessee 4
You're seventy-second. OP: Your ******* boyfriend wins. I'm tired of weak bitches complaining about their epic boyfriends.
Freshman_fml 0
#72 hahahahahahahaha fyl..dumbass
bridgette5866 0
omg, why would you complain?? seriously, awesome.
hellokittywhore 0
that is awsome!!!!! he's an OG!!!!!
ilovefatcats 12
lol nice metafore
xBangOut 4
Harry Poter sucks ass, thus all the situation is made of fail. First experience shouldn't be with some underage harry poter fan, but that's just me.
pu13 5
die In a hole xbang out
sylvie211 6
wow,just,no
Googolman 29
He's a keeper. Get it? Quidditch? Keeper?
ermagherdaturdis 26
That is serious boyfriend material. Where can I find someone just like him?
Destro109 20
that's really weird
MadeOfAwesome 1
Omg, how the hell is this an FML?!? I say MLIA or MLIG (:
PimpinPenguin 0
You should have cast an enlargement spell on him
JulzKay 0
Haha!!
cynthialauren 0
hahahahaha
SmilingPolitely 0
Haha! "Engorgio"! This would be the ultimate... sex pick-up line (?) for mad Harry Potter fans! I'd crack up if someone tried it on me... then probably be like "yeah sure, just let me grab my invisibility cloak..." :P
haj_fml 4
No.
myylifeesuxx 0
epic winn :]
ilovefatcats 12
lol #4 :D
miniman332211 0
and for those of u who can't get it up.. VIAGRIMO!
sammehsaurus 0
just make sure he uses protection. don't want her getting hogwarts down there ;] haha
lenamartinovic 13
Better yet Erecto!
kawiboy459 8
#165 Thanks for that image, really gonna help me sleep tonight *starts crying*
shootingstar8D 0
Lmao hes halarious Fyl for not having a sense of humor
KingAfter 0
what?? how can you use humor like that on your first time?? it's just weird... maybe later, but the first time? DAMN!
ultranonymous 0
People need to relax, humor is good.
cr4ckb0n3f4n 0
fyl, indeed. thaths why there are age limits on potter films.
jonnyapples 7
no.
PotterHead_DH 26
There is no age limit on Potter films.
JoeDotPadilla 0
It coulda been worse. He coulda been Voldemort.
amerrah 4
Ahahah the weasly twins if it was a threesome.
idfk_wtf 0
rofl?
km92_fml 1
I love your name OP xD
shootingstar8D 0
Lmao at joedotpadilla! XD
NEWTROLLINTOWN 0
wingardium leviosa (this refers to his erection)