Today, my boyfriend came in my room dressed as Harry Potter and declared that he was going to put his basilisk into my chamber of secrets. And yes, that was my first time. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML
Today, I found out there's a Harry Potter club at my school. My boyfriend is in it. FML
Today, my boyfriend finally convinced me to watch Harry Potter for the first time. I was bored out of my mind the entire time, and by about an hour in, all I could think about was how badly I wanted to punch Hermione for being a rude little know it all. FML
Today, as I snuck downstairs for a midnight movie, I witnessed my dad "polishing his wand" to Harry Potter porn in the living room. FML
Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML
Today, I went to see the new Harry Potter movie with my boyfriend. Feeling an intense need to pee, he decided to sacrifice a few minutes of the movie before the highly-anticipated final combat to get some relief. He went through the wrong door, locking himself out. Right until the end. FML
Today, it was my first time with my boyfriend, at his house, in his Dora the Explorer sheets. FML
Today, I was going on a first date with a girl I really like. We were going to see the new Harry Potter movie, and she told me she was getting all dressed up. It was only after I picked her up I realized she meant that she was dressing nicely. I was dressed as Harry Potter. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he was going to buy me a "magic wand". Being a Harry Potter fanatic, I assumed he meant a replica wand. It turns out he actually meant a Magic Wand vibrator. I was more excited about the HP wand. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that my fantasy was for him to eat me out on the dinner table. My boyfriend told me his was me in a Pikachu costume. FML
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Top comments
PimpinPenguin 0
You should have cast an enlargement spell on him
JoeDotPadilla 0
It coulda been worse. He coulda been Voldemort.
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Comments (235)
mathsponge 0
Not as bad as dracula.... Fangs tickle
besad_fml 0
shit! my 11 year old sister saw me go on this site. now she's gonna make her own account. :/
theblackpoop 0
dick my suck
thatonewhitegirl 0
done for bro.
xNephilim 19
Nobody cares.
nuttinick 0
lol i would do that
maximumoverdrive 0
you should check out mlia. they'd love this.
besad_fml 0
hi. this is besad's little sister. she didn't log off. and I know all the "bad" words.
Miss_Blaine 18
get off weirdo!!!
NEWTROLLINTOWN 0
oooooh bad
cmac86 24
wow you deserve it SO MUCH for agreeing to allow that jackass to take your virginity. hell, I'm a 23 year old male virgin, but I'm saving it for someone who is right, not for the first nerd to come along.
kaitlynadele 0
Nerds run the world. You're the jackass.
lenamartinovic 13
if it wasn't for the nerds you wouldn't be here on the website (& facebook, your laptop, Internet....).
dewby98 0
good job!
lils_fml 0
Nerds are sexy! And scientifically proven to be more satisfying lovers!
PimpinPenguin 0
Lmao your a 23 year old virgin What did you do in college?
PimpinPenguin 0
Did his "basalisk" at least have a snakeskin?
Tashaxox 0
hahahaahahaha i lol'd