Today, I was driving in the left lane and was suddenly hit by a woman who was in the right lane. I ran off the road, taking out a fence and totaling my car. When the cops asked the woman what happened she responded, "My tom-tom told me to turn left." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Classic scam
Today, I was driving when a woman started crossing the street against the light at the upcoming intersection, so I slammed on the brakes and stopped short of hitting her. That's when she intentionally jumped onto my car and started screaming that I had "mowed her down". The cops believed her. FML
Today, I was in a car accident. After screaming at the woman for running into me, I got in my car and drove off. As I was driving away, I was staring her down when I ended up rear-ending the person in front of me. FML
Today, I was stopped in traffic when a woman rear-ended me, backed up, and sped off along the shoulder, taking my passenger side mirror with her. FML
Today, I was hit by a car speeding through an intersection after the light had already turned red. Still partly blacked out, I crawled onto the sidewalk and I sat down. The woman rolled down her car window and yelled, "Watch where you're going!" as she drove by. FML
Today, I was driving in stop and go traffic and passed two accidents in the process. I got nervous and decided to change routes to avoid getting hit. As I was trying to find an alternative route on my GPS, I rear-ended the car in front of me. FML
Today, I lost control of my vehicle while driving. The car went off the road, rolled over, and ended up being totaled. The policeman asked me if I was alright and I said I was. He seemed relieved at my answer. Then he handed me a $300 ticket for failing to maintain my lane. FML
Today, I was T-boned at an intersection. My wife got pissed when I didn't immediately check on her, but rather the other driver. That other driver was my daughter. FML
Today, while driving, I got a call on my cell phone. Trying to be safe and avoid an accident, I pulled into the nearest parking lot before answering. While I was turning in to park, someone rear-ended me. FML
For crying out loud
Today, I was driving when the light in front of me turned yellow and I didn't know what to do, so I braked and ended up halfway in the intersection, blocking the turn lane. A guy who was turning slammed on his brakes and started beeping and yelling. I panicked, hit the gas, ran off the road into a drainage pond, and cried. FML
Today, the person I was driving behind put their car in reverse and backed straight into me. I was then yelled at and told, "I had my reversing lights on! Why didn't you move?!" FML
Top comments
Luckster 0
Another way technology is trying to destroy human kind.
MaximumRide 0
Wow.......FYL
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Comments (220)
plexico 4
You should have gotten out of her way. Tom-Tom knows where it is going. Evidently, you don't. Be more careful next time.
BrownieBoy90 0
Win!! haha
lord_fml 0
ok, i get it. it sucks there's no sarcastic tone button to click...otherwise, your comment would have been funny
Unregistered 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
this yet again proves the stereotype that woman cant drive i mean the OP herself crashed into a fence and the driver was female femenists prove me wrong that this stereotype is fake because 9/10 of these fml involve a woman being at fault
feminist19 0
shut the **** up, its one woman, and shes retarded. you are also retarded for that statement
Reyo 2
I'm scared...I just got a talk from my Psychology teacher about how people are becoming too addicted to the directions given by machines. Machines like car GPS direction thingies. D:
Mr_Positive 3
#1 - she didnt turn on the turn, she turned before the turn itself straight into the lane beside her cause her tom tom told her to and she thought it means immediately turn right
andlifesuxagain 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You can substitute a Womans inability to Navigate with a device, yet unfortunately you can not use a device to give them common sense. Also, it might have been that the Tom Tom was set to a female setting that could have led to the crash. I would like to point out that if you put a woman in a mall then they totally know where are the secret passages are, ways to sales, bathrooms, exits... now if we can only adapt this type of setting to the outside world...
NothingToGein 0
Femenist19... I have a link for you, you should read this. http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=femnazi2 Enough said.
NothingToGein 0
Check this out one too. http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=feminazi
elara15 0
Oh, ha ha! Anytime a women defends herself from your ignorant myth-based humor, she's a feminazi! You're a genius by default!
tenniskettle 0
your just bitching cause you cant drive, pffft women
lichen_fml 0
This is such bullshit! Nobody ever says anything about men's driving whenever we get another FML about a guy doing stupid shit in a vehicle, but one thing about a woman and everyone comes out saying they shouldn't be allowed to drive. Like I'm so sure you're clicking "yes" on a submission clearly about a male driver. People are bad drivers in general. Men exaggerate women's driving mostly because they feel emasculated if their wife or girlfriend is the one behind a wheel, so they take out their insecurities on female incapability. You're not funny. You're moronic. Go find another site like TFLN and whine about bitches not giving you blow jobs.
thatoneguyinca 0
HA HA HA!!! Maddox is the best!
rightsaidred 3
Lichen, I'm a chick. I fully admit that I can't drive for shit. Now go change your tampon and pop a midol.
lichen_fml 0
If you are in fact a chick, RightSaidFred, you're an idiot if you can't drive. Just because YOU can't doesn't mean ALL women can't. I assume you're also white? Does that mean ALL white people can't drive? I assume you're American? Does that mean ALL Americans can't drive? You fail deductive reasoning. You also fail self-respect.
analo_fml 8
whats a tom tom? does it have to do with the tom tom club ?
glassisass 0
hey people. this hasnt happend but is about to. stupid ass loser: starchild21 is going to comment on this FML. he is really annoying and a fucknut. could you please tell him to shut the **** up when he does? he always posts his stupid myspace address. so you will know him. he is really stupid and a loser. thanks. :)
sublime93 0
I agree with you that ****** is annoying
Ret_fml 0
@75 - a tom-tom is a type of GPS for your car.
the_stereotype 0
i can't tell if this woman is stupid or smart. if she legitimately thought that her "tom-tom" telling her to go left was an acceptable excuse, she's stupid. if she somehow sues the GPS company for having a dysfunctional piece of GPS like that other woman who sued McDonald's because her "coffee was hot", then this woman is a freaking genius, and then OP, your life is truly ******, because there is no competing with a woman like that.
diet_otaku 0
you do know that the woman who sued mcdonald's because their coffee was too hot suffered THIRD-DEGREE BURNS because the coffee was so far above the correct temperature?
Finnboghi 0
You do know that third degree burns are all the way to the bone? You also know that water boils at 100°C? (And can't physically be pushed beyond that in our atmosphere) And I'm sure you also know that in a third degree burn the skin is so damaged it will literally pull off like chicken? Still. lichen seems to be choosing her battle carefully, as if she actually read any of the FMLs about men failing at driving, they actually degenerate into bullshit statics in an attempt to show men are worse at driving. The simple stats are; Women incur 5.7 accidents on average per million miles driven Men incur 5.1 accidents on average per million miles driven. Many will claim that men incur more accidents per year than women, but unfortunately that number means nothing, because men drive 74% more miles per year than women. Regardless; OP, that sucks. the_stereotype is completely right, though. If she's incredibly stupid, enjoy your insurance money. If she's incredibly smart, you're ******. So is Tom-Tom.
GR3453m0nk3y 4
lichen, shut the **** up nobody wants to hear it its a stereotype calm down and take your crazy pills
ladiidaa 0
O____O There are secret passageways in the malls? That's so epic. I must go find them.
Paul21 0
Well lichen, I know for a fact NJ people seem like the only people who can drive...... I HATE THOSE DAMN TOURIST WHO SAY THEY ARE GOING TO THE SHORE...... YOU LIVE AT THE SHORE YOU GO TO THE BEACH!
XOfiestypixie 0
To #109, 84% of statistics are made up. =) Yes I know that the accident rate is technically higher for women than it is for men, but it's not THAT much higher. And it doesn't take into account the AT FAULT accidents. SO where as women could technically have more accidents, less of them could be caused by their own fault. The reason why women tend to be lesser skilled at driving is because they're more likely to get road rage, and their not as good as focusing on one single task at a time, they're better at multi-tasking (I realize that driving is similar to multi-tasking but the majority of the focus is on the road ahead). So, while the stereotype may seem true at times, it doesn't apply to ALL female drivers. Just like the stereotype of asians being bad drivers doesn't apply to ALL asians, and that not all teenage boys race their cars like another stereotype implies. =)
wow18 3
#109 Fin How about you get some recent and updated stats before attempting to put up an argument. Also make sure you have a reliable source! Anyone who was moved by his comment should really grow a brain and learn to think for his/her self before believing anything someone tells you.
AJthegreenkiwi 0
haha wicked. plexico i can happily say you have a fan in new zealand. your awesome.
Jotham 0
Please, it just happens the OP is a female and the person who smashed into her is a female.
andlifesuxagain 0
#73, that comment was made of win lol. O Lichen, I bet you are going to argue that women are such great driver, have you ever seen them in bumper cars.. wow, even when you are suppose to crash shit they suck lol. PS love the hate mail there Lichen
lichen_fml 0
Love what hate mail? Trying to be revelant to the conversation pretending I sent you a private message or something? Notice that I didn't argue that women were better at anything, just that your average person regardless of gender is probably a bad driver. Way to jump to conclusions to justify your specious and sexist claims. (Bumper cars? Seriously?)
andlifesuxagain 0
My apology the hate mail was not from you... komachii gets that honor, as far as the bumper cars next time you are around one of those attractions, take a gander and witness. +1 for specious though
Rhien 0
Bullshit, if the coffee gave her third degree burns, there would be no cup, or coffee for that matter, because it'd have to bee 500+ degrees farenheit to give her 3rd degree burns, which is not only impossible because water boils at 212, but also impossible because it would have melted the cup.
the_stereotype 0
i'm waiting to see the day when a tom-tom tells me to run into platform nine and three quarters
autumnjm 0
oi #109 I'm not sure why you think water always boils at 100 degrees because that's just plain not true. Depending on how high or low you are in comparison to sea level it varies. Regardless, it's irrelevant. McDonalds serves their coffee at 180-190 degrees in order to maintain taste, and you get third degree burns instantly when the temperature is above 160 degrees....so imagine how rapidly it happens at 180-190 degrees, and when your clothing is absorbing it and keeping it on your skin. It's like tea, the hotter the water the more the steeping and the better the taste, and it's also why coffee at home doesn't taste as good as the coffee in the shops. The average household coffee is between 130-140 degrees which would take more than five seconds to cause a third degree burn. To the FML chick, I hope that lady takes her tom tom out of her car, she's lucky she didn't kill you.
taylipn 0
all the people above that have jeered at 'Lichen' should really understand and process through their thick brains the argument that they have proposed before humiliating themselves with their counter-arguments that are not even valid. everyone from both sexes are able to drive competently, dont give the bullshit that 'men drive better', plucking this statement out of your arse. regardless of the stats, the difference is marginal #109, those statistics are so general, as said above, they do not account for accident where the fault is not the female's. #73, you're a douchebag. you probably let any man have his way with you. just because you're a bad driving, doesnt mean other women are as incompetent as you are.
Atara223 0
Haha. Wow, and here I was thinking you had the capability to give a somewhat sensible comment. Turns out you are a sexist pig. I am just as ******* lost in a mall as anywhere else. Help humanity; crawl into a pit and live there until you decompose.
waynej7 0
why is everyone taking this as a sexist thing
enesess75 0
I just want to point out that one day i decided to surprise my girlfriends mom with her fav starbucks drink. It is very high maintainance and involves many steps for perfection, the key....being heated to exactly 195 degrees, now most coffee places have actually rejected to make the drink because it's too hot, getting into the car recieving that drink last to keep it warm, the lid wasn't sealed properly and as i was holding it from the top the ENTIRE drink fell on top of me...all 195 degrees of it....guess what NO BURNS WHAT SO EVER!!! I'm no scientist at all, heck it couldve been degrees c or f...all i know is if it's THAT hot that it isn't always served and I'm fine, that chick at mcdonalds should be fine as well. Just sayin'
qwerty8788 4
#73, answer=correct
u_killed_kenny_ 0
total win
gagneana000 5
8
Bullet4MyChemaMo 12
HAHAHA! That was so my gran! She does everything her Tom-Tom tells her to XD
MaximumRide 0
Wow.......FYL
wow18 3
Just random research That age-old stereotype about dangerous women drivers is shattered in a big new traffic analysis: Male drivers have a 77 percent higher risk of dying in a car accident than women, based on miles driven. McCartt and Fischbeck said men take more risks, speed more, drink and drive more. “They do stupider things,” said Fischbeck, http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16698153/ another source http://www.insurance.com/article.aspx/Are_Men_Better_Drivers_Than_Women/artid/259 Totally shows how, "men drive more than female" argument is flawed btw i'm not trying to start a men vs women debate here because i outgrew that behavior when i turned five. I don't hate men or women, i was just searching about female drivers and hoping to find evidence on men and women being equally capable of driving safe, but instead i found this.
wow18 3
another article http://www.washingtonian.com/articles/artsfun/1818.html Alright now i'm done. btw when it comes down to it, men and women really are equally dangerous on the road.
steveakafranxy 7
#128 no one cares
MsTs1 0
Retarded people shouldn't even be allowed to have a license, or even get out of the house, they pose a danger to society.
iwadasn 33
I agree with you on the first one. The second and third, not so much.
TysonFawlay 0
No news that the US takes waaay too lightly on driving licenses...
Luckster 0
Another way technology is trying to destroy human kind.
EMR_fml 0
The Tom-Tom was designed by CyberDyne Systems Inc?
phoyos 0
Yep. Cyberdyne is all over that. Next is the Tom-Tom 1000.
ananamoose 0
Here comes the tom tom to take over the world, to take ahold of idiot drivers and they willl assasinate anyone that he wants, if you are dumb do not buy one of these!!!!! you will be brainwashed and turned into a cold blooded killer
btown1616 0
more like another way people are progressively getting dumber
Jonjon554 16
Let natural selection take over.
chanman 0
this made me laugh out loud. BAHAHAHAHAHA
allmidnighteyes 11
...a drum told her to turn? What kind of ****** up drug was she on?
Luckster 0
A Tom-Tom is a specific GPS unit.
allmidnighteyes 11
Ahh, I see. This makes much more sense now...
GR3453m0nk3y 4
hahahaa, allmidnighteyes that made me laugh congratulations
Trevv 0
Haha good one!
AhKealYu 0
what kind of ****** up drug were you on when you took that profle pic?
sidg84 0
it's not a drum, it's a GPS system for directions when driving
KTMnutJOB 0
that's the album cover of the band " brand new" they were probly on something when they thought of it. cocaines a hell of a drug
chowyuk 0
amazing 1st power steering now Tom Tom yet women still can't drive
LeCielNousAide 7
that is not true. the whole stereotypical way of thinking that women can't drive is so stupid. i drive just fine and i'm a girl. in fact, why do boys have higher rates on their insurance? clearly it's because women are such bad drivers *eye roll*. not to mention that my boyfriend didn't have a problem letting me drive his car even though it was a Honda Pilot and i'm used to driving a Honda Civic. i drove it just fine. anyway, the GPS systems were invented for people who actually have a brain. unfortunately some people, like the woman in this FML, don't know how to interpret directions and look at the on-screen map when using a GPS. i've never had a problem following the directions on my Navigon. so, the technology is not the problem. it's the person using it that is the problem. people don't know how to think anymore. FYL, but at least the lady admitted she was at fault and her insurance will go up and such.
TheHeroOfTime 0
Boys have higher rates on insurance because they drive around 75% more than woman, therefore the insurance companies know they will be dishing more out because of men. Secondly, women don't have brains. And third, You'd have to be a bad driver to LOOK AT THE ON-SCREEN MAP while driving. Way to help your case, woman.
PandaPandaPandaX 0
Show me an x-ray proving that women don't have brains and I won't beat the crap out of you. Who do you think you are, going around talking shit? Seriously, GTFO.
LeCielNousAide 7
to 121: i didn't mean that when i drive i STARE AT THE SCREEN. i mean when it says to turn somewhere i GLANCE at the screen to see what the road should look like in case i get confused. use some common sense i really think you are the one without the brain. oh and btw, i'd love to see someone without a brain attempt college level chemistry and biology. they're a challenge for me and i'm pretty sure i have a brain.
Deadshot108 0
Btw 123 x rays can't see the brain
Deadshot108 0
*139
mba1256 0
xrays show bones not tissues
athena3100 9
if you take an MRI of your head you can see your brain…
blueem2 0
People this stupid shouldn't be allowed to live.
shootingstar8D 0
Lmfao @ first comment
BSTUB 0
lol, i agree your life does suck