Today, I thought about my boyfriend and all the things we used to do together years ago. Today, I also spent the day doing my now husband's laundry and watching him sit on the couch with his hand inside his underwear. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took a bath and dressed in a skimpy lingerie. I sat on the couch for an hour and a half before giving up and putting on my boyfriend's old t shirt. It was then that he decided to comment. On the t shirt I was wearing. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I told my boyfriend I wanted to feel special even if for just one day. He said he would do the laundry for me. FML
Today, I got dressed up in lingerie for my boyfriend. He looked at me, said, "Nice," then went back to watching TV and drinking beer. FML
Today, I wore my boyfriend's favorite shirt to surprise him and show him how sexy I look. He made me take it off and pay the bill for dry cleaner. FML
Today, I came home to find my fiancé trying to do laundry. His version was "rubbing the smelly spots with baby powder". Looks like I'll be the only one doing laundry for the rest of our lives. FML
Today, I put my boyfriend's t-shirt on and took sexy pictures with nothing else but panties. I then sent him the pictures. His reply was, "Can you wash that when you're done?" FML
Today, per my boyfriend's request, I bought some lingerie. He got so excited when he saw me, he ripped it off me right away. After we were done he used it to clean up. I essentially bought a $40 cum rag. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house. Expecting to get a little action, I was surprised to find that he had fallen asleep while I was showering. I spent my night watching television and browsing the internet while he snored. Loudly. FML
Today, my boyfriend came round to drop off some underwear, which I'd left at his house. Not all of what he brought was mine. FML
Today, I decided to pay a suprise visit to my boyfriend's house. I let myself in, walked up to his bedroom and found him dancing around. In the dress I had left the other weekend. FML
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Top comments
tb15 0
from strictly the FML, your life does not sound F'd. You can't expect relationships to be filled with passionate romance every day.
TrimKibbles 12
This is quite frankly the worst thread I've ever seen.
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Comments (47)
megashroom 6
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Wow, you live in new jersey, that's gay...
Averizzle 0
Ydi for not living it new jersey
marc33 0
what is he watching..?? football?? and his hands in his pants.....!!! woow that's serious fantasy... maybe he does his fantasy behind ur back!! FYL
Nsnlover 0
ur gay
thor89 0
HiS uber-cool
TrimKibbles 12
This is quite frankly the worst thread I've ever seen.
The_9th_Doctor 18
you all suck, except for #73
MagicalPegicorn 0
shucks for you. that's what happens :/
JustStopSucking 0
at least she did somthing useful today...
pooptastgood 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
YDI for living in New Jersey!
FMLaholic2010 0
And what is wrong with new jersey...?
FarSide 23
FYL for not knowing about New Jersey people.
Rickityraou 0
haha /agree
Person1233 13
I live in New Jersey. I am going to assume that everything you "know," about Jersey people, is based off of Jersey shore. In that case, /facepalm.
amerrah 4
haha for real! not all jersey is filled with guedos. lmao
tb15 0
from strictly the FML, your life does not sound F'd. You can't expect relationships to be filled with passionate romance every day.
xXNerrrdXx 16
it is f...ed when your husband faps instead of making love to you tho !!
magnetic_aura 26
@74 - The OP didn't say he was masturbating. Just that he had his hand in his pants. He could have just been relaxing...
laughingman 0
you married al bundy WIN
AngryNinja 1
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
your life is ****** 'cause you're not ******. seriously, you have boobs and a vag. get a move on! he's your husband. no way you got married if you can't get him in bed. unless it was arranged. ~eye roll~
52fremont 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
YDI. If you're sitting and reminiscing about someone else instead of working on your current relationship then you are entirely to blame. Grow the **** up.
AngryNinja 1
uh. pretty sure boyfriend of the past is husband of the present...
52fremont 0
either way she needs to stop bitching and work on her relationship and not act like it's his responsibility to make sure she's happy all the time.
marc33 0
what YDI means..???
Splayd 10
Focus. Concentrate. If "FML," the title of this website, means "Eff My Life," then YDI must also mean something in relations to this site. Think. Concentrate.
Thunderbender 2
It means You Deserved It : )
orbiter6467 0
if they got married.. isn't it his job as a husband to make her happy all the time?
pluralbusted 0
oh so young and naive
dtang 0
I agree with 9...
youthink_fml 0
#26 - no it's not. Not everything bad is the man's fault. Sheesh.
FarSide 23
YDI for not paying attention to doing the laundry.
nutcrackers 2
haha funny! lol
saltz 0
damn straight
nofriends28 0
Umm, I'm a woman and all I have to say to you is-stop being a stereotypical, whiny, martyr, c**t of a wife! ITS SUPERBOWL SUNDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do you expect marriage, that lasts your entire life, to be like the first few months of a relationship? Do you really want to be one of those women that complains that to their husband that he never spends time with you anymore? On Superbowl Sunday no less? Jesus Christ! That is like the ultra stereotype of an annoying, horrible, selfish, shrew of a wife from like a movie. Everyday isn't going to be exciting. Some days he'll sit on the sofa and you'll do laundry. Other days he'll have a long, stressful, extremely difficult day at work, and all you'll of done is the laundry. Boo hoo. You have a husband who sits on the sofa on Superbowl Sunday. God that is horrible. You are the only person on the face of the Earth who has to put up with such a horrific atrocity. We should all feel SO sorry for you. Your life is horrible. YDI you whiny bitch.
Trent14 0
wow nice number 14 exactly what I was thinking
KarenC_fml 0
#14 you took the words right out of my mouth!!
Thunderbender 2
Marry me
helo2 0
lol nice
dramatimes10 0
there needs to be more women like 14:)
lichen_fml 0
Oh, please. She's doing his laundry. I think she pulls her weight around the house and expects more from her husband than being taken for granted. Or are you such a cool wife that you never ask for any humanity in return?
pluralbusted 0
if she wants something friggn ASK. if she wants sex let him know. WTF women use your words, they serve no other purpose than communication
nofriends28 0
#23 I do all the laundry and always have. Yes it is a constant, unending, thankless, chore that I sometimes get frustrated with and wish it would somehow get done without me. However nothing in this post makes it seem like her husband takes her for granted. You are assuming (and you know what they say about people that assume!). Maybe she does everything around the house and he has never lifted a finger to help. That would be an FML I would feel for. But, since when reading this website we can only base our reaction and comments on the post, which in no way implies he always takes her for granted, I don't feel for her. Her husband is sitting on the sofa one day, she doesn't state 'like he has every day for years' or something to that effect. She is doing the laundry, upset that they aren't doing fun things, right then, like they used to when they were dating. She implies nothing about him being constantly or generally lazy or neglectful, or taking her for granted. Only that they aren't doing something fun together that day. Just seeing him sit there makes her wish it was like when they were dating. I bet she did lots of her own laundry when they were dating while he watched football but since they didn't live together it wasn't right in her face. When you live with someone you have to realize every day you see them you won't be spending fun, quality time together, cause you see them EVERY day! I love how people (read femnazis) read these things and assume he is ungrateful and lazy and takes her for granted cause he didn't help with laundry one day. And that day is SUPERBOWL Sunday, which IS a big deal and happens once a year! My comment was based on the post. If he is always like that or is usually the most thoughtful husband in the world none of us know and shouldn't comment on, because it's NOT in the post. How do you know he doesn't pay all the bills, put the kids to bed and run all the errands and she stays home, doesn't work, and laundry is her only task. Unlikely, true, but so is him being an ungrateful wretch who takes her for granted based on the fact he sat on the sofa one day during a big sports game. You people have destroyed the true meaning of feminism and made it about whiny self-entitled man-haters. GO SAINTS!!!!!
lichen_fml 0
In addition to no friends, you also have no reading comprehension. This FML was posted today but not submitted today. You've assumed more than I have in your rambling paragraph. If her husband treated her fairly, paid the bills to let her slack off, it seems obvious that she probably wouldn't be complaining about their marriage over the internet. Doesn't take a feminazi to read between the lines and point out the inequality there.
captaintaco 0
nofriends28 ftw in like every aspect of this fml
tracymonster 1
You're a **** yourself mam