Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, because I'm too "high maintenance" during the holidays. Not to worry, though; he's willing give me another chance sometime after Valentine's day. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm "high maintenance." I'd only asked him to use deodorant and brush his teeth. He hasn't had a shower in over a week. FML
Today, I pointed out to my boyfriend how Valentine's day, my birthday, and our one-year anniversary were all coming up in the next few weeks. He then promptly broke up with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, because I was apparently "too good" for her. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He wants us to stay friends, though, so he can continue to use my coffee maker. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm too nice. Apparently, me being nice to him makes him feel guilty. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he wants to break up. But not until after our anniversary tomorrow, because he's already gotten dinner reservations for us. FML
Today, I got a phone call from my boyfriend breaking things off with me. He waited until the day after Christmas because he wanted all his presents. And he got me nothing. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me the best birthday ever, then promptly broke up with me at midnight to get back with his ex, because he "didn't want to ruin my special day." FML
Today, I hadn’t seen my boyfriend since New Year’s Day, then we went out for lunch Valentine's Day and at the end of the date he didn’t even kiss me. He texted me at midnight tonight saying he sorry he’s a jerk and broke up with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he wanted to make the most of his 1 month X-Box Live coupon. FML
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Top comments
DesiLikesHerSome 1
He's not worth it.
mom2pen 4
And you'll give him another chance when they sell ice water in hell.
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Comments (164)
ColtsDoug18 0
Loll what a cheap bastard, screw him and get with someone else so you can rub it in his face!
msjoyfull84 0
You know you're high maintenance when your boyfriend dumps you for the holidays. Every holiday.
AmbrosiaWriter 17
Or just that your boyfriend is a cheap bastard who doesn't want to spend ANY money on a little gift for his girlfriend.
serenitychaos20 6
I think these holidays are for the kids now. And if she's going around wanting this and that, I'd dump her too! Ha, I rather give on holidays than receive, im happy with what I got. Some women however want clothes, shoes, and shiny things that they will hardly wear anyway. True story.
IKickPuppiesHard 16
53-....So......You single? (I've been nice this year santa, do not **** this up for me!!)
serenitychaos20 6
Haha i was....then I took an arrow to the knee xD. Sorry had to, but really though, no im taken. But I will throw in a good word for you should I stumble upon other women who have the same mind set (and are rated above a 7 on the scale of 1 to 10)
Jaxx66 21
Hell. I ask for video games. Most times he can play them with me.... Me: "Honey! I'm gonna go shoot some faces off, wanna co-op??" Him: *Instantly in the room with controller and headphones*
serenitychaos20 6
Yes! Get the bf video games, or ask for video games, it's a win win :) but then again a lot of girls are lame and don't like games for some reason. What's wrong with them!? Haha
flockz 20
that's what i told santa when i didn't bake cookies for him. he shat in my stocking.
nixter5 18
What about the milk? Did he piss in a cup?
flockz 20
no he found my eggnog carton in the refrigerator....
nixter5 18
Damn, I thought it tasted funny. What did you use to spike it?
PeeblesWiggins 0
Not if you shoot him with one of Cupid's arrows... Right in the knee.
nixter5 18
I used to do those arrow to the knee jokes, just like you, but then I took a ****** to the penis.
ThereRNoWorries 5
Wow, nicely done.
silentbutfunny 0
I never once repeated that joke, but then... Im on a good streak, why ruin it?
perdix 31
It's good to know that there are girls out there with such low self-esteem that douchebags like me won't have to try very hard to keep you around. I wouldn't be surprised if he puts you on ice during the Martin Luther King holiday.
rhysfucker 24
You're killing me with suspense, Perdix. What is the gift giving protocol for Dr. King's remembrance day?
mikeymayhem_87 15
Either that or Memorial Day lol
perdix 31
OK, #66, I'll let you off the hook. Y'know how Thanksgiving got co-opted from being its own holiday to just being the start of the Christmas shopping season? MLK Day is becoming the holiday where you get a chance for redemption of the disappointment of the Christmas gifts they got a few weeks earlier. For example, everyone who gets a Kindle Fire for Christmas will hope they can get an iPad for MLK Day.
xoxPatrina 8
He just doesn't wanna buy you presents & put in any effort. He's a douche, don't worry about him.
heylesha 8
naw really? icouldnt have guessed!
nixter5 18
^ Someone's jealous that 21's prettier than they are...
insanelyXnikki 18
heylesha: fail...
heylesha 8
60- im sure if half my boobs were hanging out id be called pretty too.
koolkat27 13
60- that was uncalled for. no need to be an asshat.
nixter5 18
84- You still didn't have to be a bitch to her. You brought it upon yourself.
xoxPatrina 8
You're 21 & act like you're fifteen picking fights with 16 year olds? I'm pretty sure I should be acting the way you are, but I'm more mature than that. Jealousy is the ugliest trait & hey honey, if you got it flaunt it, I can't help what my momma & god blessed me with ;)
heylesha 8
104-Hunny i got it, i just dont flaunt it cause im not a ***** trying to get attention on the internet. If i wanted to i could post a much better picture "flaunting" my boobs, and trust me it would get guys attention, and another thing the age on my profile isnt correct. Im younger then you. :) bye
heylesha 8
104- and i am actually 15 ^.^ make sence?
ngh 0
Ur soooo righttttt
kaykay20 0
Didn't he know just cause a girl asks for a expensive gift doesn't mean he has to buy it? If you were upset and angry every time he didn't get the exact gift then sorta understandable but a bit odd he'd be ok with staying with a women like that at all.
elisabeth1_fml 0
In other words he doesn't want to get you gifts. Nice person NOT
FYLDeep 26
I wouldn't be surprised if both of you expected too much from each other.
pandm101 0
What an asshat. I got my girlfriend an iPod.