Today, my boss scolded me for being too friendly to our customers and told me to back off and let them do their thing. Less than an hour after doing as he said, he scolded me again, this time for slacking off and not asking them if they needed help finding stuff. There goes my bonus. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boss came around to my way of thinking. He called our customers a "bunch of assholes" and to kick them out if they gave me trouble. When a lady began yelling at me for "setting the damn prices too high" I told her to leave. My boss soon bitched me out for being unprofessional. FML
Today, my boss bitched me out on the sales floor for a good 10 minutes, because I wasn't "smiling the right way" for our customers. FML
Today, my boss yelled at me for leaving on time. After months of management hounding us about our overtime, I get in trouble for doing what I was supposed to do. FML
Today, I was scolded by my boss, all because I can finish most tasks in a quarter of the time it takes him, and he doesn't want to be shown up. FML
Today, my boss reprimanded me for a huge screw-up that he was responsible for. FML
Today, I got written up by my line manager for being too friendly to customers. I work in retail, my job is to be friendly. FML
Today, my boss told me that people from work have been complaining about me. Apparently, I'm not doing part of their jobs for them, and the other manager sometimes does. FML
Today, my boss yelled at me, telling me that I can't answer the phone anymore. Not because I do a bad job, but because a co-worker whined about it being her job. People call her and complain about how rude she is and then ask to talk to me. FML
Today, I got in trouble with my boss for doing what she wanted me to do. I guess she didn't think I would do it, so she did it herself. FML
Today, my boss complained about how his performance bonus is too small, as he expected it to be the total amount accrued rather than a percentage. He also made the decision to not give any of the employees profit sharing this year, because the company didn't beat the budgeted increase in profits. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Rule #1) The customer is always right. Rule #2) The boss is always wrong.
boating_guy 33
You know what they say... The higher the position, the lower the IQ
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Comments (56)
the_zero_article 15
No such thing as a happy medium, eh?
Ambient25 25
A happy medium? A boss is like a baby's diaper. Usually full of shit and always on your ass.
ThatNutellaTho 6
I So Enjoyed That ^^
JMichael 26
Not if you're working in retail..
boating_guy 33
You know what they say... The higher the position, the lower the IQ
loganHchrist 9
Suck his dick?
DocBastard 40
Rule #1) The customer is always right. Rule #2) The boss is always wrong.
ItsATwinThing 9
The customer is not always right! Sometimes they are most definitely wrong...however bosses are a pain because they ask you to do one thing and then they aren't satisfied and ask you to do something else.
Ambient25 25
And you just broke it. GTFO
thejimler 9
"The customer is always right" has to be the most stupid and damaging catchphrase to ever be introduced. It allows customers to become entitled fuckwads who think they can get away with anything (vulgar language, abusing employees, deliberately ignoring store policies, etc) and bosses to shift blame to employees when said customer complains. "The customer is your priority" is more accurate since the goal is to accommodate their needs in order to guarantee a transaction, but there needs to be a point where you can say "You know what? It is not worth our time dealing with you, your constant scamming of our returns policy is damaging our income, and your rude behavior makes other customers uncomfortable and go elsewhere. Piss off!". Then again if someone like Walmart implemented this policy they wouldn't have any customers left.
DocBastard 40
thejimler - Thank you for using my simple joke as a launching pad for your rant.
zandalee 20
Thejimler sounds like they work in retail and it's Xmas, the maddest time of the year. My sympathies thejimler, I understand your pain.
lambda_fml 40
Doc, the first rule doesnt apply to you does it? "Patient: Im fine doc..."
gracehi 33
Next he'll tell you to get him a black coffee with extra cream.
Ambient25 25
That's when you give him decaf for two weeks, and switch it back to regular for another two, and then back again.
ksks1234 33
24-- that is just pure evil.
Ambient25 25
*rubs hands* Good....good
TourettesGuyFTW 26
No....adding laxatives in week 2 would be evil.
8born8 18
And just for some variety, use off milk mixed with ok milk, put 2 fingers in your armpit, rub them around and then wipe the rim of your bosses cup with said fingers. Or, you could just fart in the cup before/after you have made the coffee.
runnerj116 11
You just can't win with some people
Sports_guy3 28
But you can always lose.
NotAnAvidGolfer 4
That's the spirit, #17.
girlrome 19
You're boss sounds wonderfully crazy. You're a lucky guy.
8born8 18
As a crazy person, I am insulted. Speaking on behalf of my fellow loons, we are not dickless brown nosing asshole megalomaniacs who enjoy ******* with people's minds. Definitely a main requirement for management in retail though.
ThatOneDrummer 8
Well, you're damned if you do, and you're damned if you don't. Sorry OP, perchance it's time to begin the search for a new job?
ReignInBlood 11
Sounds like your boss may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer. Hopefully you find a better one, OP.
AbeFrohman 10
Don't you just love bipolar bosses?