Today, my boyfriend and I watched the new movie "The Purge." After the movie, I jokingly asked him that if the U.S. had such a purge in real life, would he participate, and who would he kill first. Without missing a beat, he said, "you." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that in the event of a zombie apocalypse, he'd kill me before I got infected. FML
Today, I overheard my husband telling his friend that he wished a zombie apocalypse would happen in real life, so he could take me out back and shoot me without having to worry about going to prison. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie where a girl proposed to a guy. He said, "I would hate it if that happened to me, obviously I don't want to get married if I haven't proposed myself." I was planning on proposing later. FML
Today, I was watching some episodes of The Walking Dead with my boyfriend, after recently introducing him to the series. A scene involving Carl came on, and my boyfriend said, "God damn. You ever give me a kid that annoying, I'll shoot both of ya right in the head." FML
Today, my boyfriend kindly informed me that if I ever got bitten during a zombie apocalypse, he'd love me enough to beat me to death with a tire iron. He said this because he's been having vivid dreams about it happening. I honestly don't know whether he's joking or not. FML
Today, my vegan boyfriend told me that if he were forced to kill either his cat or me, he'd kill me because he "would never kill an animal." FML
Today, I called my boyfriend and asked if he wanted to come watch a movie. He seemed eager, until I said I needed the company because my period had started. He then went dead silent, waited a few seconds before starting to fake-snore, then hung up on me. FML
Today, my boyfriend of four years, who has never been anything but loving and supportive, told me after I made a joke that there has been “a change” in how he deals with people, that he has been “purging,” and that I could be next because he “has needs too.” FML
Today, my boyfriend brought up the time he said he'd love me until the day he died. He continued by saying, "So, let's just pretend I died today." FML
Today, the cops had to be called while my boyfriend and I were hanging out with some friends of ours. It all started when one of them said that he would kill himself if I didn't "just end your fucking relationship already, and date me instead." FML
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Top comments
Rawr6591 21
That's a red flag
angelofsaturn 23
I'd sleep with a machete from now on.
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Comments (92)
Cristoforo 17
Time for you to "purge" the relationship and leave him
svalaedgren 18
I'm sure he wouldn't considering he's involved with you. If he doesn't like you all he has to do is to break up with you.
AninOnin 24
Or kill you... Dun dun DUUUUNNNN
KingCeltic77 18
12- I'm sure Drew Peterson thought the same way. Oh wait...
mortem 12
Perhaps he was just joking? nontheless, still cruel of him!
kim_larsa 5
Break up with him and get a girlfriend.
MilkyFilmz 26
Op is a girl..
Capriccio22 13
#42 you're a bit slow aren't ya
Alihb 16
You're a retard
alycion 39
What is that old saying about asking a stupid question? Of course that is the answer he is going to come back with.
Tpracingkg 15
Hahahahahahahahaha
Kkkdawg 27
Don't worry OP, my boyfriend said he'd kill me first when the apocalypse happens. I'm pretty sick/weak/slow so it's probably for the best..
brittyboo123 35
He's probably just joking...hopefully.
INDYSTRUCTABLE 43
well... you asked
noelasis94 18
The purge and fml strange combo, don't you think?