Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was finally time for both of us to have sex with each other. He kept his shoes on the whole time because he thought he had smelly feet. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took my date home for sex after quite a long dry spell. As he took off his shoes, I was hit right in the nose by the most disgusting foot odour I've ever encountered. It was so bad I forgot all about sex and threw him out. That was 3 hours ago and I can still smell it on the carpet. FML
Today, after 7 hours on my feet at work, my boyfriend picked me up. Relieved, I took off my shoes. Suddenly, he looked up and sniffed, asking, "Is that your feet?" I'd forgotten to put on socks in my rush to work. He made me put my shoes back on and sit in the back, windows open. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I finally had sex. The entire time he kept begging me to fart, especially on him. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate with each other, starting with some foreplay. Before he fingered me, he put on a blue surgical glove, claiming that "down there is dirty and smelly" and he didn't want it on his hand. FML
Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML
Today, while getting steamy with my boyfriend, I tried to be sexy and tease him by playfully pushing his hands away every time he touched me. He responded by telling me it's OK if we didn't have sex because my breath was a bit "funky" and he needed to take "a massive dump anyway." FML
Today, after weeks of no sex, my boyfriend finally decided to have sex with me. While we were getting into it I accidentally farted in his face while his mouth was open. No more sex for me. FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted to take our relationship to the next level. I assumed since we live together that he meant marriage. I was wrong; the next level is me jacking him off with my feet. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex in the same bed my dog pooped in because we were both too polite to ask the other person why they smelt like shit. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend about my foot phobia. To help me "get over it", he took his socks off, pinned me down, and rubbed his foot against my face until I started sobbing. FML
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Top comments
PokeyStix 3
Better than being turned off by smelly feet!
epoh_fml 0
tell him to go wash his feet. problem solved. I thought chicks were the only ones that wore shoes, specifically stripper heels, in bed . . .
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Comments (101)
chenoa_fml 0
tell him to use some foot powder for stinky feet and fresh, clean socks is a must!! eww.. I personally know how much of a turn off stinky feet are x_x
sexysue 0
what's going on with comments disappearing and out of order?? WTF
JesseJaymz 0
time to start having a shoe fetish
EllOfficial 6
and then if he took em off, you would write an fml about him having smelly feet.... so in the end it's all the same :)
lonely_heart_89 6
and the problem is...? him having his shoes on during sex doesnt exactly physically prohibit him from performing. get over it, OP.
vivalacobraxo 0
he was just thinking of you? maybe if he took his shoes off it would smell horrific and you wouldn't be able to focus on the sex? maybe he was being considerate..
ididitmyself 0
very considerate of your smelly man.
perdix 31
Was he wearing ugly shoes? OK, I realize that a guy wearing nothing but shoes is awkward, but you'll forget that once the sex gets hot and heavy. On the other hand, the moldy, acrid stench of hot, sweaty, fungus-laden bare feet that smell like rancid cheese would certainly rob you of sexual pleasure. If you are going to choke and gag on something during sex, it shouldn't be foot odor.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
So what? They're just shoes. Some guys get off by having girls wear nothing but shoes (specifically stilletos) in bed. Still, yeah it might have been annoying but at least he was being considerate. Must have been bad sex if all you could think about was his shoes.
elwoods 0
Aw man. I actually find that really sad... that he's obviously really insecure and really worried about what you think and you're posting online to make fun of him :-( Poor guy.
IchBeinEinTier 0
^this!