Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was finally time for both of us to have sex with each other. He kept his shoes on the whole time because he thought he had smelly feet. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took my date home for sex after quite a long dry spell. As he took off his shoes, I was hit right in the nose by the most disgusting foot odour I've ever encountered. It was so bad I forgot all about sex and threw him out. That was 3 hours ago and I can still smell it on the carpet. FML
Today, after 7 hours on my feet at work, my boyfriend picked me up. Relieved, I took off my shoes. Suddenly, he looked up and sniffed, asking, "Is that your feet?" I'd forgotten to put on socks in my rush to work. He made me put my shoes back on and sit in the back, windows open. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I finally had sex. The entire time he kept begging me to fart, especially on him. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate with each other, starting with some foreplay. Before he fingered me, he put on a blue surgical glove, claiming that "down there is dirty and smelly" and he didn't want it on his hand. FML
Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML
Today, while getting steamy with my boyfriend, I tried to be sexy and tease him by playfully pushing his hands away every time he touched me. He responded by telling me it's OK if we didn't have sex because my breath was a bit "funky" and he needed to take "a massive dump anyway." FML
Today, after weeks of no sex, my boyfriend finally decided to have sex with me. While we were getting into it I accidentally farted in his face while his mouth was open. No more sex for me. FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted to take our relationship to the next level. I assumed since we live together that he meant marriage. I was wrong; the next level is me jacking him off with my feet. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex in the same bed my dog pooped in because we were both too polite to ask the other person why they smelt like shit. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend about my foot phobia. To help me "get over it", he took his socks off, pinned me down, and rubbed his foot against my face until I started sobbing. FML
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Top comments
PokeyStix 3
Better than being turned off by smelly feet!
epoh_fml 0
tell him to go wash his feet. problem solved. I thought chicks were the only ones that wore shoes, specifically stripper heels, in bed . . .
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Comments (101)
brnybrwn 0
awww!! poor u and him! he's nervous and ur feelin awkward! cute tho
YevKassem 0
seriously who cares?
meneedlove 0
I was like, how the **** can you do something like this!? then I read UK...ahhh that explains a lot!
Bobissmall 13
I was going to flame you for that... but yeah... im from UK and know way too many weird people to disagree ¬_¬
terriibabiiix23 0
lmfaoo. does he even shower?! cause if he did maybe, his feet wouldn't be so smelly... just saying.
deviousstang 0
fail on him
honeybee366 0
that's kinda sweet of him.
misarei 0
that's disgusting. how can you even go through with that?
JYxforever 3
LMFAOOOOOO THAT'S ATTRACTING XD HAHA!
JokeMeister 0
Reschedule then.
Baker_FoCo 0
Shoes help to keep traction during the acrobatic positions. A little added height helps a lot with the jackhammer poh-sish. Also, smelly feet is a huge turn-off. The guy did the best he could at the time.