Today, I had a job interview at the bowling alley. The manager was busy and asked if I could wait. Let's just say I've never bowled before, and I wanted to know how deep the hole was on the bowling ball. The interview ended with him spitting on my finger, trying to get it out. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the bathroom after a terrible job interview. My interviewer walked in with another guy, talking about my interview, saying he was obviously going to hire the other guy because my odd-sounding name was too hard to pronounce, yet alone spell in multiple emails. FML
Today, I had a job interview; unfortunately for me, I was so nervous that all of a sudden I felt the need to take a huge dump. My bowels started growling out of protest. I tried to play it off as if it was due to me being hungry, but it sounded like I had a monster trapped in my guts. The interviewer raised an eyebrow in disbelief. FML
Today, I was at a job interview at McDonalds. All was going well until the manager told me that I'd have to remove the piercing that I have on my eyebrow. I didn't think that my mole would be so confusing. FML
Today, I had a job interview. I stopped to take a pee in the lobby before I went in. I relaxed a bit too much at the urinal and accidentally farted. I chuckled about it like a 5 year-old for a few seconds. The guy who had been next to me at the urinal was the interviewer. FML
Today, I was walking to a job interview. I needed to get rid of some gum but there were no trash cans in sight, so I spat it out on the ground. Next thing I know, some guy grabs me, sticks the gum in my hair, and walks off, muttering curses. I couldn't get it out in time for the interview. FML
Today, I went in for an interview for my first ever job. Just seconds after meeting the boss, I slipped on the linoleum floor. I was wearing a skirt. FML
Today, I had a job interview. I had to drop my daughter off with my babysitter first. When I got to the interview, I got a weird look from the vice president of the company. I had lime green poop running down the side of my white blouse. FML
Today, I walked into a door on my way in to an interview, in front of the interviewer and a group of people waiting to be interviewed. FML
Today, I went into a job interview for Quizno's. The boss there talked to me for an hour and half about everything on God's green earth. She noticed I was a certified swim instructor. I left Quizno's with no job, but with an appointment to teach the boss how to swim tomorrow at 9 a.m. FML
Today, I nailed a job interview and they hired me on the spot. The only problem was I was bursting at the seams and had to poop really bad. After destroying their bathroom and taking my leave, not an hour later I got a phone call saying they're "gonna go a different direction." FML
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Top comments
oopsiess 0
You tried to get a job at a bowling alley and youve never bowled before? YDI
justdancebbyx3 7
Who the **** cares if you're first
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Comments (61)
Shutsuji 3
There are two hole sizes. Also first.
wiiareonfire 0
Heh. hole sizes.
GreekYogurt 26
Douche
justdancebbyx3 7
Who the **** cares if you're first
theF22willkillyo 0
Obviously you do cause you're bringing it up
cerebellum_fml 0
*shudders, PTSD last night with your mom.
bombchelle 0
I work at a bowling alley, and I wasn't stupid enough to do that. YDI.
sdcrazy1018 0
Egh did the spit turn you on?
oopsiess 0
You tried to get a job at a bowling alley and youve never bowled before? YDI
null_fml 11
This. OP, you never would have gotten it anyway.
KayOh37 0
agreed! ydi
onceuponablack 0
this is exactly what i was thinking. obviously you should be working...other places.
bombchelle 0
i'd never bowled and i work at a bowling alley. doesn't mean you can't pick the sport up. there's a first time for everything.
lostfaithinpppl 19
Wow! OP, you are too stupid to get any kind of job.
TomPusslicker 21
wouldnt you have loved to be there to see her get spit on, with her sausage fingers stuck in a bowling ball? that sounds like youtube material to me, maybe we can track down security tapes.
pandabearsmiles 0
OP doesn't necessarily have "sausage fingers". Jeez. With different hole sizes, if OP used too small of a hole, yeah, it gets stuck.
Newbie21 1
eww that's so gross
daowdedo 0
curiosity killed the cat. wow, you've never bowled before?! interesting.
Tigg3r 3
Okay first of all How the hell have you never bowled before?! Oh wait, you live in Ohio never mind. Second of all, you should've gotten soap, not spit. That's disgusting. Third of all, how the hell do you get you finger stuck in a bowling ball? It's called if it wont go in, don't force it.
whatevershesaid 0
That's what she said. In bed. Last night.
betty66 3
ooooh yeah ;)
123289 0
tigg3r you totally win
Phoenix_fml 13
Well, at least you were smart enough to use your finger and not something else
W76 0
shes a girl...
Feverrotes 15
she could've stuck her nipple in there to check the size instead of her finger, it probably wouldn't have gotten stuck. But if it did, she would've gotten the job.
argumentum 0
So, there's no real differences between girls and boys.