Today, my 5-year-old son woke up early and ran into my bedroom to wake me up. Unfortunately, he did this by jumping onto my bed, slamming his knee into my balls in the process. I had to explain my tears of agony away by claiming I was just so happy to see him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, when I called my 2-year-old son over for a hug, he giggled and squealed as he ran over to me. He then stopped in front of me, punched me in the bollocks, and walked away quite happily whilst I was doubled over in pain. FML
Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML
Today, my nephew grabbed my balls to wake me up at 4 AM. FML
Today, my son climbed into our bed because he'd had a nightmare. He and my wife spent hours whispering and giggling like they were at a slumber party. Cute, until the next morning, when they were both tired, grumpy, and uncooperative. FML
Today, my 3-year-old fell asleep in our bed while cuddling me, and I let him stay since he was being so sweet. In the middle of the night, he took off his pants and pissed all over my head and back. FML
Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML
Today, my thirteen month old son woke me up at 6AM on my day off, by punching me in the eye. FML
Today, I woke up to my five year old son picking off the scabs from his chicken pox and dropping them into my open mouth as I slept. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me up by punching me in the balls. It’s OK, I didn’t want kids anyway. FML
Today, my 5 year old daughter thought it would be funny to wake me up by tickling my toes. I guess one of my reflexes acted out because I kicked her right in the face. FML
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Top comments
715chiefs 15
He started out in your balls, he was just trying to find a way back in.
henney2464 6
Haha, he probably feels so special
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Comments (104)
itsme82 18
Why not just explain what he did? By lying to him your only going to raise him to be a liar.
speakersboom 19
so 10 years later his son will become a compulsive liar because he kneed his dad in the groin... I get it now...
novapine 19
sucks you're getting down voted. because you are 100% right.
rocker_chick105 31
So I guess we shouldn't tell kids about Santa or the Tooth Fairy, or just ruin their whole childhood
communisttaco 16
#72 I know I'm not going to. Not going to raise my kids on bullshit lies.
1nertia 15
There is such a thing as a white lie. How would you feel if you were that young, and in your excitement to see your father, you kneed him in a delicate area and he told you so? Would kind of ruin your day at that age.
stardustjunkie 12
He's a boy, he has the same parts as you, just tell him that you know it was an accident but it really hurts when you're hit in your private area.
SnazzyPotter 17
He'll probably learn the hard way some day.
DragonPorn 15
"OH, OH, AHH!! No, son, I'm not crying from sadness, just... *sniffle* so happy to see you."
foxwasalamb 24
aww! what a good daddy!
worldclassrager 41
Tears of joy! Get well soon
RabbitOfAurora 28
That's beautiful.
jack_splat 11
If you can't talk to him about such matters when he is 5, what are you going to do when he is 15 ?
FrozenMusic 26
Father and son love aww
CallMeBloo 31
Good recovery!
creepyclowntown 10
I would have told him the truth or at least say you hurt daddy so he knows not to do it again.