Today, my 3-year-old fell asleep in our bed while cuddling me, and I let him stay since he was being so sweet. In the middle of the night, he took off his pants and pissed all over my head and back. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took a shower while my two-year-old slept. In the 30 minutes it took me to shower, get dressed, and go back to his room, he had woken up, taken his pants and diaper off, and smears crap all over himself and his bed. FML
Today, my one year-old took his diaper off and peed on my chest while I was sleeping. FML
Today, while I was asleep, my three-year-old cousin wet the bed again. MY bed. FML
Today, my step-dad's three year old granddaughter slept over. She insisted she didn't need a diaper to go to sleep and they put her in my bed with me, actually believing that she didn't need a diaper. Not only did she kick me all night, but I had the joy of waking up to her peeing on me. FML
Today, I was babysitting a really bratty little girl. She came and cuddled up on the couch so I took it as an apology. I feel asleep while she was sitting with me and when I woke up she had peed on me. She locked herself in her room and was laughing about peeing on me for discipling her. FML
Today, I was babysitting my co-worker's son. He was eating Jell-o and spilled it on his top, so I pulled off his PJ's, and went in his room to grab a new pair. I heard a thunk and ran to find him out cold on the floor. His parents walked in on me trying to wake up their naked 3 year-old. FML
Today, I woke up to my two year old crawling in bed with me and saying, "I poop". Normally this would be ok, but this morning she decided she didn't need a diaper. FML
Today, my 3-year-old came to me very excited because he had gone to the bathroom by himself for the first time. What he did not tell me was that he had shit on the floor, and when I went into the bathroom to check, I slipped on a turd and knocked myself out on the sink. FML
Today, I let my 4-month old puppy sleep with me. She’s been constipated for a while. I woke up to a foul odor in the middle of the night. Turns out she took a massive dump on the bed right by my head. I had to completely strip my bed to go back to sleep. FML
Today, I was reading to a child during nap time because she woke up crying. She calmed down right after I began reading, but soon started crying again. I was confused until I felt something warm and wet on my leg. She peed on me. FML
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Top comments
TCRII 30
At least he remembered to pull down (Off) his pants.
real life problems 26
He gave you a golden shower, to save you time in the morning.
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Comments (10)
TCRII 30
At least he remembered to pull down (Off) his pants.
Spiritbird 17
While this IS disgusting, one should also not ignore the fact that you can't expect a HALF ASLEEP little kid at midnight to be all sensible in such situation. He isnt even familiar abt his way to the bathroom from your room, so he took a shot in the dark and it landed on you. Sorry OP, FYL.
RichardPencil 32
You must be so pissed on!
Donut_Wizard 23
Like father, like son.
real life problems 26
He gave you a golden shower, to save you time in the morning.
WHSKitty 7
Ewwwww lol
Lalala579121 28
The way you say "our" in the FML with no subjects besides you and your son implies that the bed is shared by you and your son. So is this just a nightly occurrence?
Ahmed Sakr 16
He was asserting dominance
really_meow 7
My toddler has done this to me several times. The things we put up with as parents!
Kam 2
😂😂😂