Today, my 5-year-old son woke up early and ran into my bedroom to wake me up. Unfortunately, he did this by jumping onto my bed, slamming his knee into my balls in the process. I had to explain my tears of agony away by claiming I was just so happy to see him. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, when I called my 2-year-old son over for a hug, he giggled and squealed as he ran over to me. He then stopped in front of me, punched me in the bollocks, and walked away quite happily whilst I was doubled over in pain. FML
Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML
Today, my nephew grabbed my balls to wake me up at 4 AM. FML
Today, my son climbed into our bed because he'd had a nightmare. He and my wife spent hours whispering and giggling like they were at a slumber party. Cute, until the next morning, when they were both tired, grumpy, and uncooperative. FML
Today, my 3-year-old fell asleep in our bed while cuddling me, and I let him stay since he was being so sweet. In the middle of the night, he took off his pants and pissed all over my head and back. FML
Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML
Today, my thirteen month old son woke me up at 6AM on my day off, by punching me in the eye. FML
Today, I woke up to my five year old son picking off the scabs from his chicken pox and dropping them into my open mouth as I slept. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me up by punching me in the balls. It’s OK, I didn’t want kids anyway. FML
Today, my 5 year old daughter thought it would be funny to wake me up by tickling my toes. I guess one of my reflexes acted out because I kicked her right in the face. FML
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Top comments
715chiefs 15
He started out in your balls, he was just trying to find a way back in.
henney2464 6
Haha, he probably feels so special
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Comments (104)
meagan724 3
if that can't win you the father of the year award I don't know what can.
YooperTransplant 8
I think five years old is old enough to know "guys have balls and you shouldn't hit them." For what it's worth, I think he's old enough to know the basics of the birds and the bees too, but you're his dad, I won't stick my nose in to that. But "those are delicate, don't hit them" isn't about sex.
supersquirel500 10
you shoulda told him that he hurt you. that way he'll be more cautious next time.
damnimawesome 1
LOL thats funny !
dayavera 9
dont do that! he needs to know the truth about human anatomy, then he will be more careful next time
TriggerMan 7
lmao
AnalSpelunking 19
Dad of the year!
Grimnirwher9 21
You sound like a one-in-a-million dad, sir, and I salute you.
GingaNinja01 15
Why couldn't you have just told your son to be careful around there? If you don't tell him that, he'll keep doing it.
BobbieH 19
If you can't explain that he hurt you to your child you deserve it next time it happens. If this isn't the first time, well then you got the result you set yourself up for!