NotGabe
Houston, United States
Today, a shopper asked me where my nipples were. Seeing as I work in Babies'R'Us, this is a common question. I brought her over to the nursing equipment aisle where she then grabbed my nipples, gave them a twist, and walked away. I need a new job. FML
Top comments
RoseBlack123 37
^ you being a dude just made this 10 times funnier!
NoNamesFree 8
I found this funnier than I should have.. Still sucks for you OP!
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Comments (113)
NoNamesFree 8
I found this funnier than I should have.. Still sucks for you OP!
K410 18
Guess she thought she was shopping at Boobies R Us >.>
_parth 20
#30. LMFAOO!!! The comment made it hilarious.
TheCanucklehead 22
Boobies R Us? The first time I read this, I thought it said Barbies R Us
lishabear 21
Me too! I was so confused as to what nipples had to do with Barbie. I thought there was a new accessory you could buy for her...
NeatNit 33
38 you think that's bad? The first time I read it as Toys R Us, the second time Barbies, and the third time Babies. I am so confused.
addioty 19
I thought this was familiar and I realised I moderated it and I was cracking up for about five minutes (:
Pleonasm 36
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I'm sorry I didn't get this at all, what?
eddeeezzyy 19
The shopper gave OP a titty twister lmao
angiemarie96 25
Op thought the customer meant the bottle nipples, not theirs :P
Welshite 40
OP is commonly asked where her nipples are located. She then leads the customer to an isolated aisle, lifts her shirt, and engages in sexual nipple twisting. Simple.
ryanthecheeseguy 18
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
A guy twisted Op's nipples at Babies R Us. What's not to understand.
Wizardo 34
I think the molester wanted teets (the top of a babies bottle) but was actually asking OP where their nipples are on their body. Well that's what I deciphered, this is just strange to me as well.
Pleonasm 36
I had never heard someone call the top of the baby bottle a nipple, is all. Thanks.
graceinsheepwear 34
12, apparently YOU didn't understand. The shopper was a woman (OP said her and she), not a guy.
graceinsheepwear 34
In the US, the top of a baby bottle is called a nipple.
Fluffydemise 18
I found this utterly confusing as well, I'm British and consider my knowledge of American slang above average but I had never heard of the top of a babies bottle being called a nipple before. I've always called it a teat. Given that a teat and a nipple are essentially the same thing, a teat just being a specific kind of nipple, it does make sense but it still sounds strange to me.
jillian2296 11
it was a girl who did it.
shaww 28
waitttttt... is OP a boy or girl?
graceinsheepwear 34
57, similarly, I never heard it called a teat. That makes me think of an animal.
NotGabe 28
OP here. Looks like I caused some confusion, so let me clear it up. In the US, the changeable tops of a bottle are called nipples. Basically, a female customer gave my **** a twist.
RoseBlack123 37
^ you being a dude just made this 10 times funnier!
cutierawrz 14
I think teat sounds strange
Lomus 24
It's actually teet. Doesn't make a difference, just looks better.
FMLkoala 28
WTF
MikaykayUnicorn 36
I thought you were a female. oh.
TisAPenguin 16
I don't know much about baby stuff, and I easily figured this out. All you have to do is think.
Lomus 24
Can I ask why that comment was buried? I was only pointing it out, and it was relevant.
DemonEvil283 13
I know the feels, I work in the Baby section at Burlington coat factory
steve31789 8
Sorry you have to deal with awfully strange customers!!
golden_warrior 23
You should have bitch slapped her into next week
ottokat 15
That would have gone down well. Still though, OP. I cringed. Sounds painful.
CallMeMcFeelii 14
Next time I go to Bass Pro Shops I'm going to ask where the motor boats are. Then flip my thumbs towards my face and say "It's right here!", and dive down into the poor employes boobies and shake my head like a wet dog.
SwaggCapone 11
^ And on the 11 o'clock news
Wizardo 34
That's sexual harassment, next time stop teetering and just knuckle down on these boobs.
TONY000 8
TEATering? No? Okay...
Welshite 40
Dear god, I think I just found my dream job.
DocBastard 40
What, selling baby stuff or twisting random people's nipples?
Welshite 40
Twisting other people's nipples? Heck no. I was thinking about being on the receiving end.
SlapAndTickle 20
You might want to hide if you see Perdix walk into the building. You'll be getting more than you asked for.
Ayanpatel95 7
Bad part is that the shopper was a she
catchmenow1 21
Purple nurple!
Wizardo 34
Nipple Cripple
perdix 31
She didn't yell "Tittie Twister!?" She's breaking all the rules of that game!
Fuji76 15
No, she should have yelled "double titty twister!" That's bonus points, Perdix!
deadchicken 3
Haha we call that a "Purple Nurple" in Canada xD
imwagdc 15
Well now you know to run the other way if you ever see her again!
MrSassypants 34
Or run towards her at full speed and give her a very painful titty twister.