Miscellaneous: Today, my 43 year old mother came home covered in hickeys. FML

chickenshit4 15 May 2016, 00:57 Pine Ridge, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Today, my 43 year old mother came home covered in hickeys. FML

55 comments

Collection

Halloween

A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.

Same thing different taste

Anonymous 1 July 2013, 18:03 Pleasantville, United States

Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML

110 comments

feartheend511 19 August 2010, 15:48 United States

Today, while my friends were over, my mom took too many of her pills and walked around the house nude. She then bit me. FML

159 comments

hickhick 7 July 2019, 04:00 🌶️ Spicy

Today, I went to the doctor's office for a regular check up. They found "odd red marks" on the inside of my thighs. They started to think it might be a skin disease, so I had to explain to my mother and the doctor that it was hickeys from my boyfriend. FML

10 comments

Anonymous This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff United States

Old dog, new tricks

Today, my mom noticed the hickey that I have on my neck. Embarrassed, I tried convincing her that I burnt myself using a hair straightener. She then told me that that's the same excuse she told my grandma when she got a hickey. FML

164 comments

glittercat 26 January 2009, 23:44 United States 🌶️ Spicy

Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML

78 comments

Anonymous 24 September 2011, 04:40 United States

Today, I received a serious concussion and several stitches to the back of my head. The attacker? My mom. FML

133 comments

ouch 12 July 2013, 07:22 United States

Today, my mom got drunk and punched me in the nose, then yelled at me for bleeding on the carpet. FML

129 comments

FunTimes 19 August 2019, 04:00 Canada

Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML

1 comment

IloveJapan 2 April 2012, 14:02 Japan

Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML

248 comments

Anonymous 31 October 2019, 22:00 Prince George, Canada

Naughty girl

Today, my mom found out that I got a tattoo two years ago. She got mad and spanked me. I'm 33 years-old. FML

11 comments

feven 32

15 May 2016, 18:55

Get it mom.

sayhisoph 26

15 May 2016, 18:50

I boxed off "glad it wasn't me" ... I really regret that. I wish it was me.

Add a comment · Reply to

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Comments (55)

sayhisoph 26

15 May 2016, 18:50

I boxed off "glad it wasn't me" ... I really regret that. I wish it was me.

ThrottleJockey 36

15 May 2016, 19:41

A vacuum cleaner with the right attachments will give convincing results.

MidnaLink 35

15 May 2016, 19:54

Might also kill you if placed incorrectly, but whatever. Anything for a hickey, I suppose.

_delusions_ 15

15 May 2016, 22:39

Why is #16s comment thumbed down? Its true. You can form a blot clot and die from trying to use a vacum cleaner to give yourself hickies.

MikaykayUnicorn 36

15 May 2016, 23:26

Because people don't like the truth, 25. Especially when it makes their joke sound stupid.

feven 32

15 May 2016, 18:55

Get it mom.

LegitTorture 18

15 May 2016, 18:56

Much better than actually having to accidentally see the "act"

Aethereal 14

15 May 2016, 18:59

Question: Is she married/has a SO, and if yes, what are the odds it was due to her spouse/SO? I don't know what to think otherwise... Go mother? F your and your father's life?