Today, my 3-year-old son discovered his testicles. When I asked him what they were, he replied, "They're my balls! They make my winkie happy!" Now he won't quit singing it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while we had my husband's boss over, my 3-year-old son decided to burst into the living room naked and yell, "Mum, look! Penis!" and wiggle it around. FML
Today, my 5-year-old son woke up early and ran into my bedroom to wake me up. Unfortunately, he did this by jumping onto my bed, slamming his knee into my balls in the process. I had to explain my tears of agony away by claiming I was just so happy to see him. FML
Today, I woke up to my 8 month old son happy as can be. I could hear him laughing over the monitor. When I walked into the room, he had somehow got his diaper off and was holding onto his new found penis. He thought it was hysterical when it went off and shot urine everywhere. FML
Today, I found out that my 8-year-old daughter somehow learned how babies are made. Sort of. I found this out when we had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When one teacher asked where she was from, she replied, "My daddy's balls." FML
Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML
Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML
Today, I told my son about wet dreams, what they are and how they are normal. Afterwards, he exclaimed, "It's kinda like when I beat off, except I'm asleep! Awesome!" FML
Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I have no idea where he heard this. FML
Today, my four year-old son has reached the phase where yelling random words is funny. I can't go five minutes without hearing, "CHICKEN NUGGET!" or "KALAMAZOO!" or "STINKY SOCKS!" FML
Today, I managed to squeeze a testicle between my thigh and a drawer while doing the dishes. From the floor, writhing in pain, I watched my wife laughing hysterically while our two year-old ran up to jump on me. FML
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Top comments
TheGreatAlexande 12
They grow up so fast. :']
jtthegr8 26
Not too long now before you catch him yanking his doodle. Hopefully he doesn't sing about that one.
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Comments (84)
Michael903 18
Sorry OP. It's a love affair that will stand the test of time...the only thing you can hope for is that he will forget the song. Who am I kidding....I've got nothing for you. Head back to camp....
r00nie 10
Lot of alone time soon?
CloudStrife97 9
It's natural, I'm 16 and I still sing about my balls and winkie every day of my life.
0h_Boy 26
"My ding-a-ling. My ding-a-ling. I want you to play. With my ding-a-ling"
xkore787 14
Haha chuck berry ftw!
lil_mars 1
What do you expect after asking him what they are lol.
FemskyD 26
No sweety mommy s gonna do groceries by herself today.. Understandable :p
sistagal 8
Hilarious! wait until he is a little older and he embarrasses you when there are many listeners
aleximo 18
Ooh you touch my tralala, my ding ding dong!
tranced_ 45
and what did you expected him to say?
worldclassrager 41
For his age that his words don't surprise me