Today, my 3-year-old son discovered his testicles. When I asked him what they were, he replied, "They're my balls! They make my winkie happy!" Now he won't quit singing it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while we had my husband's boss over, my 3-year-old son decided to burst into the living room naked and yell, "Mum, look! Penis!" and wiggle it around. FML
Today, my 5-year-old son woke up early and ran into my bedroom to wake me up. Unfortunately, he did this by jumping onto my bed, slamming his knee into my balls in the process. I had to explain my tears of agony away by claiming I was just so happy to see him. FML
Today, I woke up to my 8 month old son happy as can be. I could hear him laughing over the monitor. When I walked into the room, he had somehow got his diaper off and was holding onto his new found penis. He thought it was hysterical when it went off and shot urine everywhere. FML
Today, I found out that my 8-year-old daughter somehow learned how babies are made. Sort of. I found this out when we had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When one teacher asked where she was from, she replied, "My daddy's balls." FML
Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML
Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML
Today, I told my son about wet dreams, what they are and how they are normal. Afterwards, he exclaimed, "It's kinda like when I beat off, except I'm asleep! Awesome!" FML
Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I have no idea where he heard this. FML
Today, my four year-old son has reached the phase where yelling random words is funny. I can't go five minutes without hearing, "CHICKEN NUGGET!" or "KALAMAZOO!" or "STINKY SOCKS!" FML
Today, I managed to squeeze a testicle between my thigh and a drawer while doing the dishes. From the floor, writhing in pain, I watched my wife laughing hysterically while our two year-old ran up to jump on me. FML
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Top comments
TheGreatAlexande 12
They grow up so fast. :']
jtthegr8 26
Not too long now before you catch him yanking his doodle. Hopefully he doesn't sing about that one.
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Comments (84)
LumpLegacy 15
that's adorable.
holliepong 8
kids nowadays...
bobslawnservice 16
That is just plain awesome. Stop bragging.
102fuckyoulane 7
What did you want him to say?
xblackoutblondie 5
This generation is so screwed up!..
olpally 33
He's 3 years old, he doesn't know any better. Calm down. I think it's hilarious.
clrichmond2009 24
oh, its always the fault of the generation! you know that!
FucYoCouch 13
I hate when people say "this generation is screwed up" If anyone is to blame, wouldn't it be the generation that rose this generation, thus making the generation before this generation the screwed up generation? On a serious note, it's natural for children to learn stuff about their body. How is the "generation screwed up" simply because he hasn't learned the medically correct term yet? He's three. And obviously picked up on the word.
BrodieMike 4
It's not a generation thing, it's a 3 year old thing. This is just the kind of thing young kids do no matter the generation.
ZorroRooster 19
Sounds like you need to have a chat with the father.
scubanick 10
Wow first world problems! You don't really deserve it but your life definitely doesn't suck so... YDI
DanielleinDC 34
Kids these days...
underthesea12 24
they do make the winkie happy
cksmith51 14
Seems kinda young to be understanding that