Today, my 24-year-old brother tried to convince me that Hogwarts is real, because there is no way a person could have written that based on imagination. My parents agreed with him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 9-year-old daughter was acting out and wouldn't do her homework. I told her that if she didn't study, she wouldn't get her acceptance letter from Hogwarts. She looked into my eyes, straight through to my soul and said, "Hogwarts isn't real, retard." FML
Today, my brother and I got in a fight and he told my friends that I am mentally disabled. They believed him. Apparently, "everything makes sense now." FML
Today, my 33-year-old brother told my 10-year-old daughter that clouds are made by factories blowing smoke. My daughter laughed at him and he got upset. He still believed my dad's lie from 25 years ago. FML
Today, I went to pick up my little brother from his friend's house. When I got there, he ran off screaming that he didn't know me. His friend's parents believed him. FML
Today, my brother and I had a long argument. He believes wholeheartedly that pineapples are not actually fruits, but berries. When I showed him a google search, he accused me of "faking" it. FML
Today, I discovered that you can't always assume your little brother is kidding when he says that you have a spider on top of your head. FML
Today, my brother decided to help me artificially age some of my artwork by singeing the edges slightly. Apparently "my brother set fire to my homework" isn't a valid excuse. FML
Today, my stepmom burned all my Harry Potter stuff. Apparently, Harry Potter is the "Devil’s plan to corrupt good Christian children" and "That shit is make believe anyway." What did my dad ever see in this evil witch? FML
Today, my older brother managed to convince my younger sister that she's actually a boy, and that she'll soon be getting a penis in the mail, which she excitedly told everyone she could. He convinced me of the exact same thing as well several years ago. FML
Today, my brother deleted all traces of the novel I've been working on for three years from my laptop. The reason? When I was born I "stole all of Mum and Dad's attention." He's 24. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Zoranius 6
Well, the dementors are going to take your brother to Azkaban now because he told you.. And i'll gladly come with him!
SandiRainbowFish 20
Of Hogwarts is real... You didn't get your acceptance letter? Poor Muggle :,(
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (249)
AlyJayHAHA 0
Well, with that kind of logic, how can you argue about it ?
OfficeNinja 5
Hand him a broom. Say it is magical. Tell him he can use it to fly, then take him to the roof of the tallest building in your state. PLEASE. He does not need to have any kids. The Earth's stupid quota was filled decades ago.
msdlm 4
Don't worry. That's why there are trailer parks .
Parisgirl34 12
Lol
TheyCallMeDamien 18
Tell him I have a bridge for sale.
nerdsgetmehot 23
Tell him to run straight at the wall between Platforms 9 and 10 at King's Cross Station and find out.
spottyblanket 8
Op should be called buzzkill
Stanbox2 1
Just think about it like this. Atleast you're the smart one of the family. . . . You will have to work on the others or run away.
Aspen_Grace33 27
It is real!!! I graduated back in 2004 with high marks in divination and care of magical creatures. Marks weren't so great in defense against the dark marks, but I will forever be a proud member of Dumbledore's army! *pushes up her nerd glasses*
hqbrat 8
Now we know whose the brightest bulb in the family