Today, my 24-year-old brother tried to convince me that Hogwarts is real, because there is no way a person could have written that based on imagination. My parents agreed with him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 9-year-old daughter was acting out and wouldn't do her homework. I told her that if she didn't study, she wouldn't get her acceptance letter from Hogwarts. She looked into my eyes, straight through to my soul and said, "Hogwarts isn't real, retard." FML
Today, my brother and I got in a fight and he told my friends that I am mentally disabled. They believed him. Apparently, "everything makes sense now." FML
Today, my 33-year-old brother told my 10-year-old daughter that clouds are made by factories blowing smoke. My daughter laughed at him and he got upset. He still believed my dad's lie from 25 years ago. FML
Today, I went to pick up my little brother from his friend's house. When I got there, he ran off screaming that he didn't know me. His friend's parents believed him. FML
Today, my brother and I had a long argument. He believes wholeheartedly that pineapples are not actually fruits, but berries. When I showed him a google search, he accused me of "faking" it. FML
Today, I discovered that you can't always assume your little brother is kidding when he says that you have a spider on top of your head. FML
Today, my brother decided to help me artificially age some of my artwork by singeing the edges slightly. Apparently "my brother set fire to my homework" isn't a valid excuse. FML
Today, my stepmom burned all my Harry Potter stuff. Apparently, Harry Potter is the "Devil’s plan to corrupt good Christian children" and "That shit is make believe anyway." What did my dad ever see in this evil witch? FML
Today, my older brother managed to convince my younger sister that she's actually a boy, and that she'll soon be getting a penis in the mail, which she excitedly told everyone she could. He convinced me of the exact same thing as well several years ago. FML
Today, my brother deleted all traces of the novel I've been working on for three years from my laptop. The reason? When I was born I "stole all of Mum and Dad's attention." He's 24. FML
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Top comments
Zoranius 6
Well, the dementors are going to take your brother to Azkaban now because he told you.. And i'll gladly come with him!
SandiRainbowFish 20
Of Hogwarts is real... You didn't get your acceptance letter? Poor Muggle :,(
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Comments (249)
bethanyjk 0
you never know.
cmac86 24
It's beautiful there. You've never been? I am so sorry!
foodlord 5
Well, J.K Rowling's just awesome. I'm a serious Harry Potter fan and I read a whole lot of stuff about how and where J.K Rowling got her inspiration. Tell your brother to stick that in his pipe and smoke it. And hey, at least he knew that there were books. My dad thinks hogwarts is a person.
mikeawesome 0
Whoa!!! Just wait a minute!!! Hogwarts isn't real?!
mccutie936 6
Hogwarts is real bitch!
aJaguarinRed 9
Nurture vs. Nature? Did the idiot parents raise the brother this way or did he just take a genetic cue from them?
SkyBug91 5
Huh? Well you know what they say.. You can't pick your family (;
tazzer202 5
This isnt a fail but a win
leadawg75 12
Go to a train station and tell him to run into a brick pillar. When it doesn't work and he falls to the floor hell understand :)
Bree4all 7
Remember what Einstein said. "The two most abundant elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity." Pretty astute guy that Einstein.