Witches Brew
Today, my stepmom burned all my Harry Potter stuff. Apparently, Harry Potter is the "Devil’s plan to corrupt good Christian children" and "That shit is make believe anyway." What did my dad ever see in this evil witch? FML
Today, my stepmom burned all my Harry Potter stuff. Apparently, Harry Potter is the "Devil’s plan to corrupt good Christian children" and "That shit is make believe anyway." What did my dad ever see in this evil witch? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my daughter turned 11. Since she LOVES Harry Potter, I decided to write her an acceptance letter to Hogwarts. When she saw the letter, she screamed and showed me. When she found out I wrote it, she told me she hated me, started crying, and stepped on my foot. FML
Today, my wife confused terminology from my religion with stuff from Harry Potter. FML
Today, my brother-in-law brought his new girlfriend over to meet the family. Things went south real quick after she went on a tirade about what terrible parents my wife and I are for letting our kids keep all their Harry Potter memorabilia. Now he’s mad I threw her out. FML
Today, my mom bitched me out and threatened to send me to a Bible camp, after catching me admiring a photo of a bikini model, which is apparently "immoral behavior." This is the same woman who cheated on my dad twice, justifying it by claiming the Devil tempted her. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I have never read any of the Harry Potter books. FML
Today, my 50-year-old dad was in a foul mood after taking an online test that put him in Slytherin house instead of Ravenclaw where he "belongs" because he's "so smart". FML
Today, after months of being pestered to do so, I finally read the first Harry Potter book. I hated it. Upon hearing this, my girlfriend posted the fact on Facebook, where I immediately received tons of abuse and eventual shunning by my friends, family, and coworkers. My girlfriend just laughed. FML
Today, my 9-year-old daughter was acting out and wouldn't do her homework. I told her that if she didn't study, she wouldn't get her acceptance letter from Hogwarts. She looked into my eyes, straight through to my soul and said, "Hogwarts isn't real, retard." FML
Today, my daughter wouldn't stop yapping on about not being able to register on the new Harry Potter website. The amount of whiny jibber-jabber emanating from her cake-hole made me want to boot her from our family tree, and I had to resort to booze to wash the pain away. I'm a terrible parent. FML
Today, my dad got married to a woman who's an atheist and makes fun of me for being a devout Christian. FML
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Top comments
cuz803 46
Burn some of her shit right back and tell her you sensed witchcraft in her belongings.
Rob Lapierre 3
Doesn't matter how old you are and her reasons are unjustified. Religions are just giant scams to make people comfortable in handing over there money and getting what they want. Live your life how you want and buy all of it back after you move out. My daughter loves all that stuff and I rather that then drugs or whatever other negative shit she could be into.
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Comments (15)
rocknrollcomedy 5
The reason is absolutely stupid but the action is wholly supported. No one above about 10 should own anything Harry Potter.
Nico711 17
If you can just shut the **** up and let people live their lives that would be great.
rocknrollcomedy 5
No. We have too many boneless adult-children living in fantasy world than was ever necessary. It's time common sense starts putting down their service animals.
VnD 12
And who the hell are you to tell people what they can or can't own? I've been a fan of Harry Potter for 20 years now and if anyone ever touch my books, I'd chop their hands off!!
rocknrollcomedy 5
Thank you for proving my exact point, and I think we both know your "chopping their hands off" would be you murmuring spit bubbles in your safe space.
raven_of_azarath 35
So the fact that the later movies are PG13 don’t mean anything? They’re still only for 10 year olds? And the stories that defined a generation just stopped doing that once they turned 11? Get real.
rocknrollcomedy 5
First, PG13 means they can't buy a ticket on their own under 13. That's it. Technically, any movie above G requires parents to be there; so Peter Rabbit, Mouse Hunt, Stewart Little - same thing. 2ndly, no, it shouldn't just drop off. It should be weaned away while they're exposed to better shit. It's called raising your child and if you don't do it, you end up with someone 25, 30 years old introducing themselves by what Hogwarts House they think they are. We got more then enough of those people, especially when we didn't need any. The only thing this mom did wrong was wait as long as she did, because now that thumbsucker is going to need therapy to get over their poor baby make believe books. Gag.
T'keyah♥️ 3
Harry is not only for children
idragosani 17
I'm not a HP fan, but geez, let people enjoy what they want, regardless of their age.
cuz803 46
Burn some of her shit right back and tell her you sensed witchcraft in her belongings.
QueenCortana Tiffany Turner 16
im a 33 yr old ravenclaw u can be my kid now harry potter is fun
Marcella1016 32
Dude I’m Ravenclaw too and I never hear anyone else say that. Haha awesome!
Staraptor592 2
I never really cared for HP that much, but I have several friends who are obsessed. And if I were in a hogwarts house it would be Ravenclaw!
idragosani 17
Ravenclaw here, too haha
Rob Lapierre 3
Doesn't matter how old you are and her reasons are unjustified. Religions are just giant scams to make people comfortable in handing over there money and getting what they want. Live your life how you want and buy all of it back after you move out. My daughter loves all that stuff and I rather that then drugs or whatever other negative shit she could be into.
Warp1978 15
I feel you, the same thing happened to me over some items in my wardrobe which my stepmum decided were satanic. I let her have it after my old man took her side saying I'd incited her to do it by flaunting them... They were the back of my drawers. The items in question were a pair of leather trousers and a rubber t-shirt and alsorted collars. People do the craziest things in the name of religion.
Chazzster 32
I feel sorry for both of you. You got your stuff taken away and burned for no good reason and stepmom is apparently under the spell of some wackos filling her head with demonic stories about stuff that is just innocent fantasies. You cannot take away or damage stepmom’s stuff because that would just make things worse and probably reinforce the indoctrination in her head that you were under a spell or something. Hopefully you have one parent who is not a nut job - Talk to Dad and explain what happened without yelling or crying, as calm as you can. Hopefully Dad might be able to get stepmom to get some badly needed perspective. I have said this often - We have to make do with the parents we have, not the ones we wish we had. That means that sometimes the children have to find the adult wisdom to deal with the attitudes and the misinformation that their parents are subject to. The best way to change a parent’s opinion is to ask questions that make them think though the inconsistencies of their beliefs themselves instead of arguing which causes them to stop listening. I don’t know how many times I have been truly thankful reading an FML that my parents were normal!
Wadlaen 24
Well, J.K. Rowling describes herself as a practicing christian, and says that christian faith undergirds her fictional creation, so I'm not so sure about your step moms conclusions... Sorry for your loss!
Plop 17
How about you burn all of her religious stuff and tell her "it's make believe anyway"?
TomeDr 25
There’s actually a ton of Christian symbolism in the Harry Potter books.
raven_of_azarath 35
Like a male who has to die to save everyone from evil, and is then resurrected.
Advance 57
The real reason the Church is afraid of HP is that this saga (as others) makes kids read. And when kids read, they can learn. If they learn, they can want to refuse religion. And nobody likes to lose followers.
Vern Ehlers 5
Well fair is fair, she burned your stuff, you should set her on fire in retribution.