Today, I discovered my new step-dad has a rule about the shower. After three minutes, he turns the water off at the source. I had to beg him to turn it back on whilst covered in shampoo suds, and the only way I could get him to give me another minute was to forfeit my phone for the week. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was taking a shower, when my dad decided to turn off the water to the house, run upstairs, and throw a bucket of freezing cold sludge into the shower with me. He wouldn't turn the water back on for 2 hours. FML
Today, my mom revoked my shower privileges for a week, all because I'm “using too much water.” I'm the kind of person who will smell like garbage after one skipped shower. FML
Today, my mother told me to take a quick shower. When I got out, she told me I took too long, and now I have to pay the utilities bill. My shower was two minutes long. FML
Today, I discovered that I have to share a room with my new stepbrother. I also discovered that he takes the same number of showers over the course of two weeks as I do in a single day: one. FML
Today, I had to tell my 30 year-old boyfriend to take a shower, or else he won't for a week. FML
Today, my dad learned that I sometimes waffle stomp in the shower if I wake up late. He built a shower stall outside and has threatened to kick me out if he ever finds me showering inside again. I get that it's kinda gross but this is a massive overreaction. What will I do in winter? FML
Today, my boyfriend turned down a shower with me because he didn't want to get his hair wet. FML
Today, my dad borrowed my new iPad to amuse him while he was in the shower without my knowledge. The iPad is now completely ruined, and my dad is refusing to buy me a new one. He says, "How was I to know that it wasn't waterproof?" FML
Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML
Today, I’m showering at a local firehouse. Why? Because our shower is broken and my dad refuses to fix it, or get someone to fix it for us. It’s been a year and a half since I've showered in my own home. FML
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Top comments
JMichael 26
Your dad sounds like a dick
myoukei 31
You need to talk to your mom about this because he is a tyrant
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Comments (263)
JMichael 26
Your dad sounds like a dick
theswanlake 13
step-dad*
pixierara 28
There's a big difference I've learned, a lot of people get offended when you call they're step parents like they're their real ones
jayemerald17 25
A smelly one at that
okokalright 15
Sometimes step parents can be a bit controlling, but it feels that way only because they're not your real parents or they're really just extreme. I always hated my step dad because was very similar and didn't do shit.
chuchusheep 19
you don't say...
Xkillz302 10
Take all the TP when he's in the bathroom,
lexiieeex3 32
It's definitely a power struggle thing. I hate pricks like that.
livelaughlovepie 22
Wow. That seems unfair to you:( in sorry OP! Hopefully he changes his attitude!
ShyVi 18
Replied to wrong comment.
fastnachter 15
No, you did.
samuelreza 9
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
he's saving the environment. you should get on board op.
cristy91 33
Also, it sounds like OP was given no warning about the 3 minute rule. Plus, if OP has long hair/shaves, then 10 minutes is about the shortest I can imagine it going.
wantmeasandwich 26
By that logic, we should all just stop showering to save the maximum amount of water. How's that sound?
Devtyro 14
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I'm sorry #4 I could see the sarcasm in your statement. This community can't I guess.
shay_serendipity 29
130, well it's not the FML community's fault he didn't made his "sarcasm" clear. Most of us aren't stupid, we know real sarcasm when we see it. Just saying.
mattrd_fml 31
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
146, I think his sarcasm was pretty clear. Just saying.
ShyVi 18
Let me just think about this while I go take a 15 minute shower.
myoukei 31
You need to talk to your mom about this because he is a tyrant
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Indeed. Sounds like she's going to regret marrying this prat sooner or later.
WhimsicalMusings 11
Yup. Taking away a phone is usually a punishment - but OP didn't do anything to warrant being punished. You can't follow rules that you didn't know existed. This sounds like a power play: "I control your environment and your possessions. I make the rules and I can alter them on a whim. I am in charge and you do not question me." Not so much a red flag as a red banner. Unless it's an obnoxious prank, and that's only marginally better.
theswanlake 13
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You have to master the 3 minutes shower then ;)
FenHarel 9
Prepare for boot camp!
cynthianicole95 9
Considering OP is female, it's probably not possible. Take i to consideration the fact that she probably shaves which takes a bit longer. :p
SquirrellyGirl 20
Not easy if op is a girl. They gotta shave and if they have long hair it's tough
ShyVi 18
Good luck with that. For all we know, OP could be like my sister with hair down to her ankles. (No exaggeration.)
angeluv_2014 22
start showering at your friend's houses (though I don't know what other problems he's going to cause you because it seems like he's a controlling piece of shit)
A07 48
This is how revolutions start
MidnaLink 35
I know some people like to save water, but all lathered up and rinsed in 3 minutes… NO! **** off, that's impossible.
deathshead 19
the armed forces have disproved its impossibility
MidnaLink 35
But if you're just getting up and still tired, then it'll definitely take more than 3 minutes.
lulinator 40
Typically, armed forces are male, with little hair on their heads. Most women have at least shoulder length hair, which isn't so quick to wash and rinse. So, while it may be feasible for people in the army, it's not reasonable for everyone.
bad_boyfriend 10
so you take a navy show. Wet yourself, turn off the water to soap up, then rise. Of just keep crying about it and rinse with your tears.
Misskreher 30
And most women shave too, so taking a shower in 3 minutes is no where near reasonable. It takes me at least 3 minutes for one leg.
kuro21 20
You can always shave outside. It's not like you have to shave in the shower, of course it's easier but what's better? Shaving in the shower and giving up your phone? Or shaving out of the shower and having your phone?
Ozzien 26
Shaving your legs is more complicated, though. I don't use shaving cream, so I need to get soap all over my leg, and if I weren't in the shower, it'd get all over the floor. Men can shave over the sink, but women have some more trouble with that... Yes, shaving outside the shower is possible, but not worth the trouble.
leogachi 15
@198 If you have a bath tub you can fill the bottom with about two inches of water and sit on the edge of the tub with your feet in the water. It's super easy, plus you can still use soap if you want.
Jadea_fml 12
#37 OP isn't in the military. My boy-short hair is so thick that it takes 3 mins to shampoo it alone and at least 10 (on a GOOD day) to condition it. Plus shaving and actually washing for a total of about 25 minutes on average. We're low income and can afford more than 3 mins for the 6 people here
Blunt person 16
Here's a shocker for you....NOT EVERYONE IS MILITARY!!!!!
sammiking 13
How would you even thoroughly clean yourself, shampoo, and condition your hair in 3 minutes?
SneakySlayer 15
Get wet, turn off water ,soap up, turn the water back on and rinse
may14th 26
You don't
Megatron_Griffin 25
My father used to threaten to shut off the hot water if we took more than five minutes. "I can shower in five minutes, no reason you can't" I guess the fact that he was bald and didn't have hair down to his waist wasn't a factor. I literally used to count to 300 every time I showered so he couldn't accuse me of taking too long
MidnaLink 35
Even hair isn't the big issue. If you don't shower within/around 24 hours, you get itchy and stinky anyway. Trust me. Just rinsing will not help.
Megatron_Griffin 25
It was when my water pressure was terrible lol it takes forever to rinse conditioner out :P by the way, I love the user name
angeluv_2014 22
I would just cold shower at that point. better than rushing... I may freeze my ass off but at least I'll feel clean
MrZsDad 19
i really hope you are the deciding factor in his old age home.
Badabam_fml 14
My (ex) step father did the same, but he started timing from when I stepped over the carpet onto the lino of the kitchen, which leads to the hallway. It's about 2 4-5 metres to the bathroom from there, the door is heavy and takes a bit of effort to close (sliding door), then I had to undress, wait for the water to heat up, wash my body, legs and hair. I ended up just washing my hair once a month because of it. It was crazy. I got into soooo many scream-fests with him because I ran slightly over time.
NotGabe 28
If he's environmentally concerned, suggest shower heads that conserve water because he sounds like he can't be moved from his 3-minute rule if that's the case.
xx000o 27
Next time he takes a shower shut it off after two minutes.