Anonymous
United States
Today, my 17 year old asked me whether to chew or swallow grapes. I raised this dumbass. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
grapes
Westfield, United States
Today, I asked my dad for help on some homework I didn't fully understand. He walked away and came back with a huge bowl of grapes and said, "Here's your brain food." Then he left. FML
StockedWithJuice
Austin, United States
Today, I found out that my 16-year-old son bought a huge amount of grape juice, because he thought he could store it under his bed and wait for it to turn to wine. FML
parentfail
United Kingdom
Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML
Anonymous
Start 'em young
Today, my 3 year-old toddler wanted to try my wine. I kept telling her it’s adult juice and she wouldn’t like it. When she kept bugging me about it I gave in, and gave her a tiny sip. She liked it, and continued to bug me about it even more. FML
Anonymous
She's not wrong
Today, I reprimanded my daughter for eating too many chips, since it's not good for you. She responded with, "Know what else isn't good for you? Two cigarettes a day." I couldn't even come up with a retort. I can't believe I just got burned by a ten-year-old. FML
muskogee
Prince Charming
Today, my boyfriend wouldn’t stop smacking and slurping his food. I told him to at least chew with his mouth closed. He looked me dead in the eye, with a mouth full of chewed up pizza, and said, “No.” FML
eenkoekje
Today, I was called by my son's school to pick him up. Apparently, he snorted baking soda, crushed aspirin, and flour because he thought it was coke. Where did I go wrong raising this twerp? FML
madeleine
Gummy
Today, I caught my young daughter eating candy after brushing her teeth. Angry, I asked her if she wanted all her teeth to fall out. She smiled and said, “Yes!” FML
Anonymous
Akron, United States
Are you winning?
Today, I bought grapes. Just grapes. At the checkout, the total was $14. I laughed. The cashier didn’t. Now I'll be eating one grape a day like it's caviar. FML
jj.
United States
Best teeth in the game
Today, as always, my mom loudly asked me if I'd brushed my teeth, then replied to my yes with, “I don’t believe you.” All because I forgot to brush my teeth once when I was 5. I’m 17 now. FML
Top comments
hannahtaskey 9
Kids learn from their parents you know...
pwincessa23 1
you should have told him to swallow it! if he chocked than you can tell him "and that is why you don't swallow grapes"
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Comments (307)
badactor009 0
Relax. Teens are frustrating to raise. I could write FMLs about mine none stop for a year. My son's character, strengths and skills and his interests are nothing like either parent. He is comically clueless in many respects but he is a good kid and is pointed in the right direction. Your teen being clueless is not a reflection on you, unless you are uninvolved with his education. Clueless at that age is pretty common. Be concerned where it matters, like gang affiliation, serious criminal activity, being a cruel heartless prick to others, ect. That is worth getting upset over. By the way, I asked and mine knows to chew a grape. But he is 19. Yours has two years to figure it out. Good luck.
teh_uber_muffin 3
win
Richierich4688 5
LMFAO Greatest FML ever! It's not your fault dude, its the genes!!! Lolol
wriptidez 0
this is ur child dont be so mean
Euphoriah 0
You can chew or swallow a grape it really doesnt matter.
theonlysweetpea 10
You don't deserve to reproduce.
poweredbyparamor 0
guess i should have specified that he uses really big noodles when he makes mac and cheese. my bad
ghettojoker 4
wow another parent calling their child stupid or dumb. what else is new?
sambilargo 0
so? he's never eaten a grape before. that doesn't make him stupid
22cute 17
YTDI for calling your own kid a dumbass
udontknome 0
Well its kinda ur fault cuz u raised him. Eveer thought bout that