Today, I asked my dad for help on some homework I didn't fully understand. He walked away and came back with a huge bowl of grapes and said, "Here's your brain food." Then he left. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was doing my homework on the computer when my dad walked by with a plate of food, threw his fork at me, and said "POSTURE!" FML
Today, my dad had a midlife crisis in the grocery store over his football career in high school. So he decided pelting me with vegetables and fruits would be a good idea. FML
Today, my 17 year old asked me whether to chew or swallow grapes. I raised this dumbass. FML
Today, my dad was making a sandwich in the kitchen. Hungry, I snuck in and grabbed it, running back to my room and devouring it. Later at dinner, he dumped a whole scoop of rice in my lap. We all ended up laughing as we cleaned it. FML
Today, during the early hours, I got hungry and went to grab something to eat. I entered the kitchen, only to see my stark-naked dad sitting at the table, eating cereal and reading the paper. He just nodded at me and said, "Son." I think I need a new pair of eyes. FML
Today, my dad opened my fridge, let rip a horrible fart into it, then closed it and said "There ya go, a little somethin' for supper." FML
Today, my dad brought me home after I was in the hospital for a week. He gets me to my room, hands me a glass of water and some granola bars, then leaves me on my own so he can go play golf. FML
Today, my stupid drunk dad was yelling for food and since my mum needed to finish her taxes before midnight, I told him to STFU and passed him prawn fried rice, which he told me to shove up my ass. I threw it in the bin, since he's the only meat eater in the family. When she'd finished, she yelled at me instead of him. FML
Today, I graduated from college and my parents gave me an apple. Not the computer, the fruit. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk off his ass. So drunk that he couldn't manage to open the refrigerator, and ended up punching it in a fit of rage. When I tried to calm him down and get him to bed, he told me to fuck off, and grounded me. FML
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Top comments
KhaleesiDannie 26
He was just covering for not being able to understand it either
Davids9199 14
Just look up the answers no I'm not saying cheat but if you need help googles your bestfriend
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Comments (43)
SoulEaterSE 23
Some help he was
howard007 18
Tbh unless you're doing something super complex (PHD) you can generally find more information on your school work with either Google or scholarly articles.
Swandive235 27
My dad is into the "brain food" thing too.
ColorOfSoul 19
You may not see it as but it is an learning opportunity
Davids9199 14
Just look up the answers no I'm not saying cheat but if you need help googles your bestfriend
pedopears 18
Oh, what would we do without our best high school friends Google and Wikipedia.
mds9986 24
YouTube videos got me through school.
psychopolarbear 28
Kahn Academy is your best bet. They've got videos on just about anything taught in school
8Dirty1 24
hope it was purple grapes to go with a purple joint
KhaleesiDannie 26
He was just covering for not being able to understand it either
hellnosucka 27
well? did help the juices flow?
ACommenter 7
I'd thank him with a huge bowl of spiders Seriously, I think he just doesn't know and is trying to make an excuse not to do it.
imapartypooper 15
That's just evil. Never joke about spiders.
RainbowLibster 17
At least he cares about what you eat...
gracehi 33
What a heartless bastard. Everyone knows that proteins are brain food. He shoulda brought you bacon.
the_panda 11
he stayed as long as vine
Stevethatguy 3
I hope it was a grape vine. That pun is GRAPE (great). Lol, I'm to funny. hopefully this comment dosent get graped by dislikes
False_Stupidity 42
Just a pointer #27. When you make efforts to point out your puns, mention how funny you think you are and then incorrectly use "to" instead of "too"then you are guaranteed to be voted down.
gosh_mate 30
Look for answers else where. Sometimes it's hard for parents, even if the are educated, to remember how to solve the problems set in school.
lulinator 40
It's hard, because they keep changing the way they do things, like math. I was a whiz at math all through school, and I can't even help my seven year old daughter anymore because they do so many weird things now to find the answer.