Today, it was our 5th anniversary, so I decided to play a little joke on my girlfriend. Before I gave her the real present, an engagement ring, I gave her a gift-wrapped rolling pin instead. I ended up in the hospital. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend, only for her to slap me, throwing the "fake ring" away and storming off, convinced it was a cruel joke. FML
Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of 4 years. I took the whole day to cook a nice meal, and stuck the ring in a cookie that I was going to give to her. In the middle of the dinner I was holding the cookie under the table, about to give it to her. My dog ate it. FML
Take it seriously!
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with a ring from Kay Jewelers. She saw the box, started giggling, whispered, "'Kay", and then started laughing so hard at her joke she had to excuse herself. FML
Today, my wife figured out I gave her a dollar store ring for our anniversary. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for dinner to a fancy Italian restaurant for our one year anniversary. After giving her some roses, freshly baked cookies, and a thoughtful poem I wrote for her, she started laughing and asked for her real gift. FML
Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. I had been hiding the ring in the sock drawer. When I went to retrieve it, the ring was gone and in its place was a sticky note that said "NO." FML
Today, my girlfriend decided it would be hilarious if she pulled a prank on me, so she did the classic "bucket of water on a door" one. I ended up getting stitches and a concussion on my birthday. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she'd bought for me. I said, joking, "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML
Today, as a 1 year anniversary present, my boyfriend let me see and wear my engagement ring. He then made me give it back at the end of the day. FML
A night to remember
Today, I planned to propose to my girlfriend in front of her family at dinner. I had the ring ready and got down on one knee. She immediately burst into laughter and said, "Are you kidding?" The family stared in silence, and I quickly realised she was just teasing me... until I stood up and knocked over an entire table of drinks. FML
Top comments
PixelNoob 11
It seems like after five years, she'd know you well enough to recognize that it was a gag gift. Unless you've just told her to get back in the kitchen one too many times and she finally snapped...
mk58 31
Let me guess, she made you shove it up your ass.
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Comments (204)
Fruit_Dealer 9
Well played. I was talking to your girlfriend of course.
Levvy 22
Ha ha. It's funny because it's a woman putting a man in the hospital. Horribly hurting people is okay if they have penises, like in that comedy classic "A Clockwork Orange".
DjeePee 25
Right. Like in A Clockwork Orange the police didn't care about the molested man, they only thought about the raped and killed women. Uhu. Really, why the reference? That movie is not in a single way related to this FML.
facilitator 0
Because of the double standard?
DjeePee 25
Women are horribly hurted and nobody liked that. Men are horribly hurted and nobody liked that. Double standard, you say?
Monkeysmommy1 0
Hurted?! **** *smh*
abceasyas123abc 12
I'm guessing English isn't her first language. Cut her some slack.
Levvy 22
#44: The reference is because it included violence against men. Which is (apparently) funny. Thus making it a comedy classic. I used "A Clockwork Orange" for my comparison because it's a film particularly infamous for its sheer brutality, which was intended to make my point a little clearer by being deliberately extreme. Any movie featuring men being horribly beaten would have worked, but that one jumped to my mind as being well-known enough and cruel enough to make a clear illustration. I guess I could have gone with The Shawshank Redemption too. Really, anything with a sufficient quantity of (apparently hi-larious!) criminal battery. My point is: People DON'T view it as a comedy classic. And this isn't comedy either.
EmAnRap 2
Bcause of food poisoning?
Kiirst_mt1994 26
haha
ScarletBloom 14
unfeminine
rayrayray23 1
Un shut up
rebelzomm 10
Dear you really aint making much of an impression here. So stfu unless you got something smart to say.
facilitator 0
Anyone else want to know what she's staring at in her pic? Just me? I mean, the camera is right there and... ... Aw screw it
alexchiltonLC 7
60 you stfu, ass
ebxr82nv 2
Shoe box half full of gravel works too. But seriously, sucks to be you!
brina53 4
fyl for making her wait 5yrs, then playing w her emotions lol... jk, feel better
artprincess 0
ur right
FlyMeAway 2
Some people want/need to wait a while. I was with my ex-boyfriend for nearly two years before we ended it. The longer you stay dating/engaged, the more you know that you love each other. And it's not 'playing with emotions'. Unless OP breaks up and gets back together all the time, there is no emotion playing. I think it's romantic when sometimes you get a bunch of cheap gag gifts and then a really beautiful gift.
morejuana 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
bam!! you got pwnd.
lonewolf5755 5
well at least you know she is violent. now you can dump her. anyone that resorts to physical abuse in a relationship will continue to do so
Levvy 22
It's because if someone is beaten horribly enough to be put in the hospital and has an XX chromosome, it's a tragedy. But if someone is beaten horribly enough to be put in the hospital and has an XY chromosome, it's a comedy. Why? Because when a man is a victim it's his fault.
MagicallyFat 12
#38 it's like asking "why is it do cute to watch this little kitten chase that red laser light" it just is lol I find it funny that he ended up in the hospital. And maybe he really likes her if he didn't try a means of self defense. (arms over the head = no hospital but bruised arms)
Levvy 22
Your analogy might work if the kitten chasing a laser pointer were being beaten with a rolling pin.
joeyl2008 29
I can't believe your comment is the first one to say this. It's bullshit people are joking about it and saying its his fault. Shit like this is why men are less likely to get help when in an abusive relationship. I truly hope this was an eye opener for him and he dumped her ass.
ScuseMePrincess 2
OP, get out of that relationship. Don't marry someone abusive or emotionally unstable enough to do that.
perdix 31
I'm sure you are all excited to be giving her that engagement ring now! (Or is it now an enragement ring? ;) ) I don't know why female-on-male domestic violence is funny -- it just is. Maybe that's why it's fair that we like lesbian ****, but women generally don't like gay ****.
Levvy 22
Correction: It's funny when it's other people. You'd be recanting faster than lightning if the victim were you or a close friend/family member and acting like you'd never said this.
DjeePee 25
"Maybe that's why it's fair that we like lesbian ****, but women generally don't like gay ****." People generally like lesbian and dislike gay ****. I think that's something biological/evolutionary. I mean, two male homosexuals are never going to reproduce (which is incredibly important for every species to survive), but two female homosexuals are still capable to get children, because they still can be forced (aka raped) by men. A woman can't force a man, let alone two. The only reason why female-to-male domestic violence is 'funny', is because men are supposed to be the stronger ones. If a man beats a woman, he's abusing his power. If a woman beats a man, he is (in the eyes of some very ignorant people) a wussy.
WutzButz 3
That's true: Women usually don't like gay **** - there is slash for that. Apart from that i want to hurt someone everytime they laugh about a man getting hit by a women - i wish them a life full of domestic abuse, maybe than they will notice that it's not funny at all, no matter what's between your legs.
leadman1989 16
Bullshit... have you watched that mcdonalds beat down video? It's hilarious but they deserved.
abstractsnipe 0
Thanks for the overly specific retarded explanation.
narisemasonx 2
how did this fml get everyone talking about gay ****? lmao.
Iknoweverything 29
I understand some women may want a ring so badly that they'll be pissed if you give them anything as a gag, but seriously, that was an over-reaction!
iwadasn 33
It most likely wasn't that she wanted jewelry; she was just offended by the "stay in the kitchen" implication of a rolling pin as an anniversary gift.