Today, it was our 5th anniversary, so I decided to play a little joke on my girlfriend. Before I gave her the real present, an engagement ring, I gave her a gift-wrapped rolling pin instead. I ended up in the hospital. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend, only for her to slap me, throwing the "fake ring" away and storming off, convinced it was a cruel joke. FML
Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of 4 years. I took the whole day to cook a nice meal, and stuck the ring in a cookie that I was going to give to her. In the middle of the dinner I was holding the cookie under the table, about to give it to her. My dog ate it. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with a ring from Kay Jewelers. She saw the box, started giggling, whispered, "'Kay", and then started laughing so hard at her joke she had to excuse herself. FML
Today, my wife figured out I gave her a dollar store ring for our anniversary. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for dinner to a fancy Italian restaurant for our one year anniversary. After giving her some roses, freshly baked cookies, and a thoughtful poem I wrote for her, she started laughing and asked for her real gift. FML
Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. I had been hiding the ring in the sock drawer. When I went to retrieve it, the ring was gone and in its place was a sticky note that said "NO." FML
Today, my girlfriend decided it would be hilarious if she pulled a prank on me, so she did the classic "bucket of water on a door" one. I ended up getting stitches and a concussion on my birthday. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she'd bought for me. I said, joking, "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML
Today, as a 1 year anniversary present, my boyfriend let me see and wear my engagement ring. He then made me give it back at the end of the day. FML
Today, I planned to propose to my girlfriend in front of her family at dinner. I had the ring ready and got down on one knee. She immediately burst into laughter and said, "Are you kidding?" The family stared in silence, and I quickly realised she was just teasing me... until I stood up and knocked over an entire table of drinks. FML
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Top comments
PixelNoob 11
It seems like after five years, she'd know you well enough to recognize that it was a gag gift. Unless you've just told her to get back in the kitchen one too many times and she finally snapped...
mk58 31
Let me guess, she made you shove it up your ass.
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Comments (204)
jaredofmo 22
No sense of humor, that one.
lollipop77_fml 6
Supremely backfired plan. :( Hope she says yes when you give her the ring!
trismagestus 19
@107: If you think anyone should agree to marry someone who beats them, you need to rethink some priorities.
dwsgirl 8
still giving her that ring?
gamerdude66 8
clicked ydi soon as i saw play a joke on my girlfriend :P
Levvy 22
I totally believe you have never in your life played a practical joke and are thus totally undeserving of the hospitalizing beating you would warrant if you had. I am also totally not sarcastic by nature.
leadman1989 16
Next time give her a coupon for unlimited free sandwiches and don't give her a gun first...
varkey 7
WTF? Your girlfriend actually beat you up (badly) over that? Even though she didn't know it was a joke, she clearly has problems. Leave her. I hope she feels bad. FYL
ironik69 31
Can someone please explain how its funny to "put a woman in her place" by sending her to the kitchen, but its not funny to put a man in his place by throwing a rolling pin at him.
spritom 0
Neither is funny. But the 2nd one is aggravated assault.
jemiller226 13
Bingo 124. Classless jokes aren't against the law, and he clearly thought she could handle crude humor. Given that he's been dating her for 5 years, he knows her better than all the rest of us put together, so if he was that wrong, I don't see why anyone here thinks they know better. There's sure a whole lot of victim blaming here that would never fly with women (and shouldn't with the men!) if a woman had been on the receiving end of the beating. Time to take a step back and examine your double standards.
Levvy 22
Did you genuinely just ask to explain why people are less appalled by mean, dumb jokes than they are by hospitalization-necessitating physical brutality? Do you genuinely think these things are equivalent - or worse, that the former is worse?
EvilDave 13
The difference is "Go make me a sammich" is a joke in which no one will be physically injured. Hitting someone with a rolling pin and putting him in the hospital is quite different. In fact, no woman is being put in her place when a man tells her to get in the kitchen and make him a sandwich. She can say no. She can ignore him. She can call him name. She can even play along. This guy gave his girlfriend a rolling pin as a gag gift on their anniversary and she hit him with it and put him in the hospital. Do you see the difference now?
Thunderstruck14 30
Implying that all women belong in the kitchen is wrong, however, there's nothing wrong with a person belonging there. Its the kitchen. There's food there. You need food to live. As for the violence, that is wrong. You can't just send someone to the hospital like that! Sure, trying to force someone into a gender stereotype is very wrong, but physically hurting someone until they need to be hospitalized is much worse.
Sugah_Shane1 2
It's a sign. Good thing you didn't give her the ring or you'd never know
suchameanguy88 0
Hahahahahahahahahaha loser
thenima 3
I hope you did't give her the ring, don't marry someone abusive or emotionally unstable enough to do that. She's going to turn into your worst nightmare ever.
Thunderstruck14 30
Definitely the OP should reconsider. He might end up in an abusive relationship if he sticks around. No one deserves to get beat up by the person they love. I definitely understand why the woman was upset, but sending him to the hospital is not okay. Responding to stereotypes with violence is ridiculous.