Today, it was my first day back to school after break. I wasn't feeling well, but I decided to go anyway. I threw up in the hallway and shit myself at the same time. I waited in the office for my dad to come and get me for almost an hour while wearing dirty underwear. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, the first day of school, I threw up on my teacher in the middle of class. FML
Today, I was running late for school because I had a huge stomach ache. To save on time, I took a taxi. When the taxi driver hit a bump, I lost control of my bowels and shit myself. Not only do I have to wash my underwear in the sink at school now, but I had to pay the driver extra to remove the smell from his car. FML
Today, it was the first day of school, and I split my pants. In a full class. While on a stage. I'm the teacher, and I wasn't wearing underwear. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML
Today, I was sick from both ends at work. My boss wouldn't let me go home, and told me to borrow a pair of spare pants to change into. I suffered another bout of gastroenteritis and shit someone else's pants. FML
Today, while at work, I started to feel sick to my stomach, hot, and dizzy. My co-worker told me to go home. On the way through the locker room to get my stuff, I experienced a dizzy spell so severe, I blacked out and pooped myself. No one in the building is going to let me forget this. FML
Hot lava from both ends
Today, I was suffering from food poisoning and had constant diarrhea, along with feeling nauseous. I couldn't hold my vomit in and rushed to the toilet, but due to the pressure, I pooped while still in pajamas. FML
Ralph and Huey
Today, my mom picked me up from school due to me being sick. Afterwards, she took a detour to the DMV, and I waited in the car. I ended up vomiting everywhere, clothes included, and had to sit in the car for three hours while the taste and smells lingered. FML
SHAME! SHAME!
Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML
Today, I was at work alone with a stomach bug. For some reason, our bathroom was out of toilet paper, so I had to quickly run to the nearest store to buy more, only to shit my pants midway there. I'm pretty sure the cashier knew exactly what had happened. FML
Top comments
Nyehmaster 0
-insert shitty situation comment here-
Kua_Mei 0
That must have been extremely unpleasant. Eww. FYL, OP.
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Comments (107)
sallen0046 4
And you didn't have the common sense to ask to borrow something like a gym uniform? Even if you didn't have one of your own on hand, all schools have extra sets lying around, and all schools are required to have showers. I'm not saying that it's not possible, but I've never in my life just randomly thrown up. Why wouldn't you make you way to a restroom if your stomach was upset?
Imagirll 3
my school doesn't have a shower in it ? and I'm pretty sure they were probably on their way TO the bathroom when it happened THEN they went home.
spanelli 16
Oh really, do you know the OP personally? Please, enlighten me on the whole situation.
Imagirll 3
#71 who are you talking to?
dt520 4
yeah the gyms are required to have showers, that doesnt mean you get free access to them.
pedroiaman15 0
ha this reminds me of the time i shit my pants because of diarrhea in school and had to hop down the hallway! XD HAHAHA!
kgarci07 0
ewww lol
justbigbs 6
When in doubt stay the f$$$ home, nothings wrong being home, there food, entertainment, bed, bathroom hhhmmmmm home.
truehitman2010 0
24 my school dosent have showers
RyNo24 4
fake...girls don't poop...
sirdolittle 0
True ... but they do know ways which end with them barfing, so half of it is still valid. <Welcome to fairyland, where girls don't take a shit and always drink too much> :p
lolwutdino 9
How do you know it's a girl? :|
Sirin_fml 47
"On 01/03/2011 at 5:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)"
roeallen 11
Ha.
dumbestdrummer 0
cus it's got the female symbal at the top
guppy40000 0
next time your sick, stay home. props for not skipping your first day of school however.
fthku 13
It could have been worse. At least you didn't get a wedgie after!
sirdolittle 0
Nice !
zenti 2
If you're not feeling well you need to stay home. Not only will stuff like this happen, but you'll get other people sick as well.
vhince 0
Grodiee.
DocBastard 40
It seems to me that your first day back in kindergarten was very nerve-wracking, but I would say that you handled the situation with grace and dignity. *rereads FML* EEEEWWWWW!!!