Today, it's my boyfriend's birthday. His sister and I filled the air vents in his car with confetti so when he starts the car, it would blow all over him. In the process we lost the keys. The keys cost $200 to replace. Happy Birthday! FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it was my boyfriend's 21st birthday. Along with a pair of $80 shoes, I bought him a birthday cake, his favorite ice cream and a $15 balloon. I showed up to the party and he was very intoxicated. So intoxicated that he pops the balloon, drops the cake, and throws up all over his new shoes. FML
Today, it was my boyfriend's mom's surprise birthday party. I was sent to pick up the very expensive cake and dozens of balloons. Not only was it windy and the balloons flew away, I tripped and dropped the cake. In the driveway in front of all their family and friends. FML
Today, my girlfriend found an enormous rose arrangement in the back seat of my car. The flowers were from my fire chief to his wife. I forgot to deliver them. I now have to replace them since my girlfriend thinks I got them for her. The arrangement cost $225. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to his best friend’s birthday party. He got her red roses, a necklace and $100 Victoria’s Secret Gift Card. This year he forgot my birthday, gave me a hug and told me to leave his apartment because he had homework to do. We’ve been together for two years. FML
Today, my car broke down. My boyfriend, who is not too handy, insisted on fixing it. He called me outside and said he was done and started the engine. Moments after rejoicing, it burst into flames. FML
Today, is my brothers 16th birthday. He got keys to the Lexus. I'm 18, have no car, and got pajama pants and chapstick for my birthday. FML
Today, we were celebrating my birthday and my boyfriend thought it would be funny to shove my face in the cake. While the candles were still lit. FML
Today, my boyfriend wrecked our car. Now I can't get to work in order to make the money we need to buy a new one. FML
Today, my friends and I went to the strip club for my birthday. I now know how my sister is paying for her new car. FML
Today, it was my birthday, and my kids gave me my car keys I had "lost" a week ago. FML
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Top comments
ikickyourbutt 9
well. you had good intentions!!
atthegates 0
today, my girlfriend lost my keys. when i got a new key, i found out my a/c vents were full of confetti. FML
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Comments (156)
l33tcharlie 0
well, ***** happen once in a while
Pasty_fml 4
"Shit happens" usually entails things that people don't do on purpose. Had Op been driving the car and been hit by a bus, that would be "shit happens." Had Op washed the car as a birthday present then a bird pooped on it, that would be "shit happens." It is "dumbasses happen" when your gf and sister steal your car keys and ruin your car.
annafii 7
Seriously? What if he didn't turn on the AC until, oh, I don't know, halfway down a main road? Could nobody forsee how badly wrong this could possibly go?
YouKnowJosh 0
Just imagine what would have happened if he had turned on the air conditioning while he was driving
af117 3
dumb ass, how do you lose keys in a car? just clean out the confetti
uknowitsJAIME 0
HAPPY BIRTHDAY :D
jren207 24
Why didn't you just let him BLOW his load over you instead?
allerz 0
Your ass better be paying for the new keys
SadinSherman 16
It is her fault
CoDplayer96 4
you tried to do something nice. I'd appreciate it.
sandmancometh 3
Key at dealer $200 Same key on EBay $18
srdsoccer 0
oh golly!