Today, my girlfriend found an enormous rose arrangement in the back seat of my car. The flowers were from my fire chief to his wife. I forgot to deliver them. I now have to replace them since my girlfriend thinks I got them for her. The arrangement cost $225. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend came home with a huge bouquet of roses. They were from an admirer, brainwashing her to think I'm a terrible boyfriend for not buying her flowers like he did. FML
Today, I had to drive my girlfriend to the hospital because she had a severe allergic reaction to the flowers I brought her. FML
Today, I drove 45 min from my college to surprise my girlfriend with roses after she got off work. She responded by taking the roses, dumping them in her back seat, and speeding off because she couldn't miss Survivor. FML
Today, on a whim, I bought my wife some flowers on my way home. She put them in a vase then asked me what stupid thing I did that I’m pre-apologising for. She refuses to believe I bought her flowers for any other reason. Man, I must be a really shitty husband. FML
Today, I lit candles and scattered rose petals on the floor and on the furniture to surprise my girlfriend. When she came in, she sneezed uncontrollably because apparently she’s extremely allergic to these particular roses. The night ended with me driving her to the ER instead of dinner. FML
Today, I bought my wife chocolates and a rose. When she got home, I told her I had a surprise but then I couldn’t find the chocolates or the rose anywhere in this frigging house, they were just gone. I had to pretend the surprise was going out for dinner but still, where the fuck did the rose go? FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend flowers. All she managed to do was to say, "It’s been a year since you brought me flowers." FML
Today, just so my family would think someone might actually be interested in me, I bought myself roses and attached a secret admirer card to them. My plan would have worked if I hadn't forgotten to take the receipt off the kitchen counter. FML
Today, I received a bouquet of flowers from my boyfriend, which is something he's never done before. Unfortunately, this was his way of apologizing for cheating on me. FML
Today, I bought the girl I like a bouquet of roses saying "Anonymous" on it, and left it on her front porch. She saw it, and called the guy she thought it was from. He said, "You're welcome!" and now they're going out. FML
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Top comments
tigrouficele2012 44
...and you couldn't have just told her the truth?
sting1234 0
hey at least your girlfriend didn't think you were cheating on her, although $225 is a lot of money to have to spend.
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Comments (79)
sting1234 0
hey at least your girlfriend didn't think you were cheating on her, although $225 is a lot of money to have to spend.
DjeePee 25
This is the first thing I thought too. Many girls would be suspicious if they found a secret stash of roses in the back seat of their boyfriend's car.
Miss_Kammy 3
so I'm guessing there was no card???
Asario 0
at least OP is getting laid. $225 is about how much youd spend on a good hooker. so.... have at it
truededication 0
what if his GF is ugly?
randomguy1millon_fml 0
plus ur gf loves u know
tigrouficele2012 44
...and you couldn't have just told her the truth?
pedosmurf 7
I bet the sex was worth it ;)
5up3rTAN 0
there's this thing...it's called honesty
honeybunches88 5
Agreed. I doubt she would have been mad if he had told her the full story. YDI OP.
Celesta 11
I bet she'd be very disappointed though, maybe the OP didn't want to make her sad.
bariforlife 0
he should have just told her the truth and them get her something amazing so she wont get butt-hurt
sallen0046 4
And you don't have the common sense to say "I'm delivering them for someone else. I don't have your gift in the car"? YDI not only for forgetting, but for hot having the balls to be honest.
muchagente 5
yeah, she definitely would have believed that...
cmyk 19
it is possible to be honest instead of bending over and take it. YDI OP.
Bertj 5
Hahahaha. Aww xD Well at least you got your girlfriend thinking you're one heck of a guy :)
DahkLohd 4
@3: Because then his gf would be on here saying, "Today, I thought my boyfriend bought me a beautiful assortment of roses. As it turns out, he's cheating on me and got them for someone else. FML." But now the OP gets to post tomorrow, "Today, my girlfriend dumped me. Yesteday, I just bought her a $225 bouquet of flowers. FML."
Celesta 11
And most of the comments here will be like "YDI for assuming." for the first FML, and "YDI for spending that much on a bouquet of flowers." for the OP's FML. Silly commenters!
TKrisha_fml 5
lol
DahkLohd 4
I see what you did there.
DocBastard 40
Nothing says "I love you" like a beautiful arrangement of flowers which will be dead and sitting in a vase of smelly, moldy water in a week. That said, Mrs. Bastard got three dozen roses for Valentine's Day. *sigh*
kmarrs 2
lmao I'm sure she loved them to.
RedPillSucks 33
My love for you is like these flowers, fleeting and smelly... Wait,... What?
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
I also got Mrs. Bastard 3-dozen roses... EDIT - No, not DocBastard's wife, for once...
katiesmurph 5
Nothing says I love you like slowly dying reproductive organs.
whiterabbit420 4
well put.
BWill9014 4
Classic husband and wife sitcom scenario
Hawkcody1958 1
how could you forget?the car must have smelled like roses.you so are a idiot