Today, it's my boyfriend's birthday. His sister and I filled the air vents in his car with confetti so when he starts the car, it would blow all over him. In the process we lost the keys. The keys cost $200 to replace. Happy Birthday! FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it was my boyfriend's 21st birthday. Along with a pair of $80 shoes, I bought him a birthday cake, his favorite ice cream and a $15 balloon. I showed up to the party and he was very intoxicated. So intoxicated that he pops the balloon, drops the cake, and throws up all over his new shoes. FML
Today, it was my boyfriend's mom's surprise birthday party. I was sent to pick up the very expensive cake and dozens of balloons. Not only was it windy and the balloons flew away, I tripped and dropped the cake. In the driveway in front of all their family and friends. FML
Today, my girlfriend found an enormous rose arrangement in the back seat of my car. The flowers were from my fire chief to his wife. I forgot to deliver them. I now have to replace them since my girlfriend thinks I got them for her. The arrangement cost $225. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to his best friend’s birthday party. He got her red roses, a necklace and $100 Victoria’s Secret Gift Card. This year he forgot my birthday, gave me a hug and told me to leave his apartment because he had homework to do. We’ve been together for two years. FML
Today, my car broke down. My boyfriend, who is not too handy, insisted on fixing it. He called me outside and said he was done and started the engine. Moments after rejoicing, it burst into flames. FML
Today, is my brothers 16th birthday. He got keys to the Lexus. I'm 18, have no car, and got pajama pants and chapstick for my birthday. FML
Today, we were celebrating my birthday and my boyfriend thought it would be funny to shove my face in the cake. While the candles were still lit. FML
Today, my boyfriend wrecked our car. Now I can't get to work in order to make the money we need to buy a new one. FML
Today, my friends and I went to the strip club for my birthday. I now know how my sister is paying for her new car. FML
Today, it was my birthday, and my kids gave me my car keys I had "lost" a week ago. FML
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Top comments
ikickyourbutt 9
well. you had good intentions!!
atthegates 0
today, my girlfriend lost my keys. when i got a new key, i found out my a/c vents were full of confetti. FML
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Comments (156)
forevermylife 0
At least you meant well...
random_name2 1
You lost his keys in the process? You mean in the process of opening his car, getting in for a few seconds, and getting out of his car, the two of you somehow managed to lose track of the ONE thing you should keep an eye on? And what a shitty way to surprise him. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, you get to go vacuum confetti out of your car!
Pasty_fml 4
Op, I'm female but I would have kicked your ass for multiple reasons. I hope your boyfriend doesn't have anger management problems because I'd hit ya. 1) you put confetti into his vents. You don't know if it would cause problems with the car. He might be driving and it would scare the crap out of him. 2) Its messy and no fun to clean up. It's a step above glitter or sand. He is going to have to detail his car and send it to a shop to make sure all the confetti gets out most likely. 3) You lost his keys in the process. I am going to go out on a limb here and say that you guys "borrowed" the keys without telling him. Does he have a spare key? If not I hope you have a car to let him use if he has a job to go to. You never take someone's keys. If you want to do something to someone's car write Happy Birthday on the car. Never, ever do anything to the vents/engine. You're a dumbass.
astarazhna 1
Ahahaha, you're bloody amazing :) and spot-on!
Pasty_fml 4
Us pasty people spend so much time inside we come up with wonderful comments. :D
Stupend0us 7
Next time give him a *******. If I was you're bf I would have been extremely pissed. I take very good care of my truck and car and have zero tolerance for any crap that happens to them. You could have also potentially caused damage to the AC had confetti worked it's way back.
SinfulRose 0
Happy Failday =]
h0ward076 0
confetti ruins the ac i learned that when my ac broke on my birthday..
ARMY_Trevor 5
Don't mess with a man's car. That's just a big no-no
DalekScythe 0
this is the 1st time I've seen a GF and sister get along on FML... weird.
pyrenean_dreams 0
Wow, I would be PISSED., even if you HADN'T lost the keys. Who the **** thinks blowing confetti all over soemone's car is a good idea? Idiots.
daltyboy 0
boyfriend... today, while i was sleeping my gf took my keys to my car to put confetti in the air vents she then lost my 200$ keys to my car and made me pay for them. FML