Today, it hit me that I'm incredibly pathetic, when at the age of 21, I tucked my stuffed animals into bed with me, facing in different directions so they could keep watch for monsters while I slept. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night and panicked because I couldn't find my blankie. I'll be 36 in a month. FML
Today, a tarantula joined my stuffed animal collection in its drawer. It, unfortunately, wasn't stuffed. FML
Today, I was so lonely, I tried to get into bed noiselessly while pretending I had a boyfriend asleep in it. FML
Today, I had to tell my doctor the real reason why I can't sleep at night for him to prescribe me anymore Ambien: I still have the irrational fear that there are monsters in the closet. I'm 22. FML
Today, my dog showed me her latest kill. Too bad it was the stuffed animals my dead grandmother had given me as a child that had a lot of sentimental value to me. FML
Today, and for the past month, I'm so lonely that I fall asleep holding my teddy bear's paw for comfort. FML
Today, my 18 year old son asked me to check if there were any monsters under his bed. FML
Today, like every other day, I suffer from insomnia. On returning to the bedroom after a very late night shower to hopefully get some rest, I sat on my cat. I jumped up quickly and smacked my face against the cupboard. I then looked back to see if she was OK. I'd sat on my Squishmallow. FML
Today, at the age of 20, I still have a bed time. It is strictly enforced by my cat via endless meows if I am up past 11 pm. FML
Today, while lying in bed, I was so lonely that I put a heavy blanket in front of me so it felt like I was spooning someone. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Pathetic? Hardly! Those monsters under the bed are only slightly scarier than the ones in the closet. It's a damned good thing you have such good protection.
josebaseball11 14
Well if you haven't been attacked by monsters yet, then they're doing a good a job.
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Comments (271)
scarletclaw 11
Stuffed animals are way better than a security alarm OP. have you ever tried to cuddle with an alarm? And your stuffies are silent ninjas of the night while your alarm just makes loud noises.
eternal_malaise 10
What are they going to do if they see one? They should be armed and armored.
ShoyuSauceSoup 26
Actually, it is,not pathetic. It is very cute.
lifeisfabulous 10
well I mean they must be good at their jobs cause the monsters haven't gotten you yet.
Dodge4x4Ram 46
this should of struck you at age 10
DocBastard 40
The fact that "should of" makes no grammatical sense should have struck you at the same age. I guess you never learned to put on a shirt though.
Dodge4x4Ram 46
this guy,,, lol
Gho5tk3y 17
Ydi because it's something within your control. that being said it's certainly not a bad thing, I've had a stuffed dog on my nightstand since I was a toddler. Whatever makes you happy and doesn't harm others is perfectly fine imo.
lagrimae 9
your a jerk.
scarletclaw 11
Blade is right. Never toss away your stuffed animals. They have been through all the ups and downs with you. They are where you store memories and feelings. They hold on tight to the secrets whispered late at night. Never give them up. Keep them with you always OP.
TrinityNevada 11
It's OK, I still have to refrain from taking a flying leap into bed because of the skeletons hiding under it :-)
lifeisfabulous 10
O I do that.
jqqq 3
I do the same thing, and i'm 22!
JoshuahColins 19
I think that's adorable ^_^