Today, it hit me that I'm incredibly pathetic, when at the age of 21, I tucked my stuffed animals into bed with me, facing in different directions so they could keep watch for monsters while I slept. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night and panicked because I couldn't find my blankie. I'll be 36 in a month. FML
Today, a tarantula joined my stuffed animal collection in its drawer. It, unfortunately, wasn't stuffed. FML
Today, I was so lonely, I tried to get into bed noiselessly while pretending I had a boyfriend asleep in it. FML
Today, I had to tell my doctor the real reason why I can't sleep at night for him to prescribe me anymore Ambien: I still have the irrational fear that there are monsters in the closet. I'm 22. FML
Today, my dog showed me her latest kill. Too bad it was the stuffed animals my dead grandmother had given me as a child that had a lot of sentimental value to me. FML
Today, and for the past month, I'm so lonely that I fall asleep holding my teddy bear's paw for comfort. FML
Today, my 18 year old son asked me to check if there were any monsters under his bed. FML
Today, like every other day, I suffer from insomnia. On returning to the bedroom after a very late night shower to hopefully get some rest, I sat on my cat. I jumped up quickly and smacked my face against the cupboard. I then looked back to see if she was OK. I'd sat on my Squishmallow. FML
Today, at the age of 20, I still have a bed time. It is strictly enforced by my cat via endless meows if I am up past 11 pm. FML
Today, while lying in bed, I was so lonely that I put a heavy blanket in front of me so it felt like I was spooning someone. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Pathetic? Hardly! Those monsters under the bed are only slightly scarier than the ones in the closet. It's a damned good thing you have such good protection.
josebaseball11 14
Well if you haven't been attacked by monsters yet, then they're doing a good a job.
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Comments (271)
iseebearbears 27
I find that to be very cute. Nothing wrong with that.
middlenamefrank 8
If it's whimsical, or just reminds you of your childhood, what's the harm in that? Have some fun in life! If you REALLY are concerned with monsters around your bed, and you REALLY think your stuffed animals are going to help protect you, you might want to consider talking to someone.
150493x 29
The monsters will come for you next. And when they do, remember that comment.
vic55jets 13
If there were monsters in the closet, well I don't think that i would be surprised
150493x 29
I'm twenty and still run to and from the bathroom at night and jump into bed. It stops the monsters from catching me.
olpally 33
Haha, silly op. It better be "ted" from the movie protecting you.
sweetbliss3 37
I don't sleep with stuffed animals but they are guarding the door and I have some holding down the closet. I get in bed turn out the light and hurry under the covers. and I sleep with the tv on for some light. I'm 25 and still scared of the dark.
MissyMiss5 13
I'm 25 and I still have a stuffed animal I sleep with I don't think you're pathetic! Although I have her cuz it's comforting not afraid of monsters I just don't like change!
raychiild 4
lol virgins...
sjbartholome 14
Also, how does stuffed animals relate to virgin?
MzZombicidal 36
I find it pretty funny that your profile says you have a heart of gold and yet you post something "insulting" on a sweet FML. Also, being a virgin is nowhere near a bad thing and neither is sleeping with stuffed animals.
jewelia13 12
Pfeh. I used to sleep with a baseball bat beside my bed because I was terrified of zombies - even gave myself a panic attack during a thunderstorm thinking they were coming.
ToastyTheBeast 4
I sleep with my baby blanket and I'm 22! Whatever makes you feel comfortable.