Today, it hit me that I'm incredibly pathetic, when at the age of 21, I tucked my stuffed animals into bed with me, facing in different directions so they could keep watch for monsters while I slept. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night and panicked because I couldn't find my blankie. I'll be 36 in a month. FML
Today, a tarantula joined my stuffed animal collection in its drawer. It, unfortunately, wasn't stuffed. FML
Today, I was so lonely, I tried to get into bed noiselessly while pretending I had a boyfriend asleep in it. FML
Today, I had to tell my doctor the real reason why I can't sleep at night for him to prescribe me anymore Ambien: I still have the irrational fear that there are monsters in the closet. I'm 22. FML
Today, my dog showed me her latest kill. Too bad it was the stuffed animals my dead grandmother had given me as a child that had a lot of sentimental value to me. FML
Today, and for the past month, I'm so lonely that I fall asleep holding my teddy bear's paw for comfort. FML
Today, my 18 year old son asked me to check if there were any monsters under his bed. FML
Today, like every other day, I suffer from insomnia. On returning to the bedroom after a very late night shower to hopefully get some rest, I sat on my cat. I jumped up quickly and smacked my face against the cupboard. I then looked back to see if she was OK. I'd sat on my Squishmallow. FML
Today, at the age of 20, I still have a bed time. It is strictly enforced by my cat via endless meows if I am up past 11 pm. FML
Today, while lying in bed, I was so lonely that I put a heavy blanket in front of me so it felt like I was spooning someone. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Pathetic? Hardly! Those monsters under the bed are only slightly scarier than the ones in the closet. It's a damned good thing you have such good protection.
josebaseball11 14
Well if you haven't been attacked by monsters yet, then they're doing a good a job.
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Comments (271)
jrock9093 18
Awesome
thenewgirl29 20
I had to sleep on the couch with a nightlight on after watching a scary clip on the Internet the other day. I'm 29. You are not alone. Lol
mdcdeve 10
I have 30 teddys on my bed and 40 in the other room on their own bed, being 26 doesn't stop me from liking them :p
sjbartholome 14
Don't sweat it OP. Someone has to look out for monsters. You are not pathetic at all!
sjbartholome 14
I sleep with my Packers blankey to scare away the Bears, Lions, and Vikings
mdcdeve 10
There's Vikings ? *hides*
cathrope 10
#71 I see you don't get the joke that #70 made. :)
tnebert 8
*facepalm*
Kkkdawg 27
I still sleep with a bunny I've had for 25 years. I'm afraid to have my feet under my bed, and I try not to let my feet dangle over the edge of my bed. I also keep my closet doors open ALL the time, and have done so my whole life. In my old room I actually had my dad take the closet doors off. Monsters are a very real fear for me :/
FluffyArt 6
See, I keep my closet doors CLOSED, so the snake killer inside will make noise if it tries to come out to get me. I always get freaked out if they are left open.
texassavvy 8
As long as you don't act that way in public, I don't see it as a truly bad thing. Well. Except the boogeyman can't come
worldclassrager 41
Better than sleeping with a knife next to your bed...wait I do that...
poncho55 40
Lol, why not both? I cuddle my stuffed friends at night but also have my awesome knife on the nightstand for extra security. (:
warteM 14
No way that it is patethic. I still sleep with a stuffed animal beside my bed atleast even when my boyfriend is home with me. It is soothibg for the child inside you! :)
perdix 31
What is pathetic is that you think stuffed animals will put up a credible defense against monsters! I'm way older than 21 and my array of GI Joes have successfully repelled many monster invasions.