Today, is the first day of my honeymoon. It has been 6 years since I took a "real" vacation. We have 3 kids and a small house, and now we have 9 days alone in random hotels to do what couples do on their honeymoon without kids... Day one, I got my period 7 days early. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's the first day of our honeymoon. My bride just informed me that she invited her ex-husband to come, so he can spend time with the kids. He will be here in 4 hours. FML
Today, it's day 9 of my honeymoon. It's also day 8 of my period and day 7 of food poisoning. FML
Today, after we recently married, my husband wanted kids and I didn’t, so we agreed we’d have at least 5 years child free, then have one child and one only. I just tested pregnant. Despite all our precautions, I actually got pregnant on our honeymoon. FML
Today, it's the first evening that my husband and I will have without the kids in 8 months. We had been looking forward to it for ages, and my husband had even bought me some lovely new lingerie for the occasion. Guess what? I just got diarrhea. FML
Today, I was getting everything ready for mine and my husband's first wedding anniversary. Flowers, check. Crisp new bed sheets, check. Silk underwear, check. Crippling cramps and an early period, check. FML
Today, it's the first day of a long-needed vacation after weeks of stress and overtime. I'm having such intense period cramps, I'm bathed in sweat. FML
Today, I'm on the last day of my honeymoon in Ireland. My wife and I have an amazing hotel room and a huge bed. She's passed out drunk and if I even touch her, she needs the bucket next to our bed. So much for finishing our week on a "fun" note. FML
Today, it's one day away from my wedding and two days away from our honeymoon trip. Today is also the day that, after dodging it for two years, I got Covid. FML
Today, while on vacation, I think I met my soul-mate, and quite possibly the love of my life. My vacation is to celebrate my 8-year anniversary with my husband. FML
Today, at 36 years-old, I will be leaving to go on my first ever vacation. Aunt Flo held off until yesterday so she could come with me, and she's BAD this month. We were planning on going to the beach. FML
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Top comments
Lounia_fml 8
how does she deserve this? xD Like really. YDI for being a woman, YDI for leaving your kids.. I wonder what stupid excuses will come up for YDI xD
Anderling 33
That sucks. Mother nature is awful. Hope things'll look up soon.
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Comments (285)
rafty4life 3
Shower? at least for the first couple days, once it slows down, its just a bit of blood. :P But yeah, very inconvenient.
boundforglorywt 0
thats what i was thinking
ZuRG_fml 7
if you don't plan it out in advance, there's nothing you can do (like in her situation?)
EFF_MY_LIFE_202 0
but she wasnt expecting it this week. wow read the whole story before you try to give her critism
GingaNinja 0
dont tell me u are going to let that stop you....
paperfox_fml 0
You are a judgemental and naive ****. You are aware that there's such a thing as a serious long term relationship that doesn't necessarily involve marriage, right? Many couples choose not to get married, or to get married late. Lack of a ring doesn't make a relationship any less valid or the people involved any less worthy of having children together.
Agrajagged 3
Well, preferably...
iamafish 0
well...sex helps alleviate cramps
Sleepwalker418 0
You are aware that aback is being sarcastic, and has a rep of being sarcastic? I guess not.
gueeterman 4
yeah i know really? how the **** did she deserve this, why did people pick that?
lmmmr 0
Or just compassionate people.
Hugorgy 0
She wants pleasure too. How about that?
greenmonxster 0
has a "rep?".. somebody spends a little too much time on fml.. get a life. fyl
beaverdogmouse 0
you're dumb!
EFF_MY_LIFE_202 0
i agree
alexgisforme3 0
awww. maybe you can reschedule it so that wont be a problem? im so sorry. id cry if that happened to me :(.
TheMongoose333 0
Or just put a towel over the sheets, or wherever it is you're doing it.
papertigers_fml 0
uhhh why? you just have to wash it. it's not gonna explode or anything.
Leprecon 3
fyi, if you take the pill you can actually delay your period
aback 5
That's why you get a script for birth control pills before you go on vacation. Then again, 3 kids and you're just now getting married, you've probably never heard of them. Or of ******** or any sex that doesn't result in pregnancy.
papertigers_fml 0
it sucks but.. buy a towel. put it under you. then you can throw it out, or it can become your period sex towel. i wouldn't do it with a new partner but hey it's your husband.. :P
dollywilson 0
agreed
macropixi 0
Having sex while on your period just means a little extra lubrication, throw down a towel and shower afterwards, besides, orgasms help with cramps.
babybarb 0
Just get on your back, my period never stops me, just make sure your guy is cool with it.
O_HALEZ_NAW 0
You obviously have never heard of kegels.
Eros_fml 0
unfortunately, the pill is basically just a shot of hormones, and some woman prefer not to take it
ohhhhshizzz 0
Are you that dense? Having kids does not make you loose. Being loose does not deal with your period. I don't think they've had a LOT of sex. Do you even know how the woman's body works?
aback 5
Um, yeah. Pushing 3 cinderblock-sized beings through your ****** will loosen it up. Women get stretched out to a degree just from having sex. Virgins are tighter than mothers of 20. It's true!
kalliope_fml 0
"Um, yeah. Pushing 3 cinderblock-sized beings through your ****** will loosen it up. Women get stretched out to a degree just from having sex. Virgins are tighter than mothers of 20. It's true!" Actually, untrue. There is absolutely no way to tell a female virgin from someone who has already had penetrative sex, or even had children. For about 3 months after giving birth the ****** will have stretched out, yes, but given its elastic nature it will tighten back to normal eventually. (Faster if you do kegels.) And menstrual flow has nothing to do with how tight/loose the ****** is. Unless it's completely blocked by an imperforate hymen (which is not at all good and requires surgery), it's not going to make the flow any faster/slower. Going on the pill changes the density of the period sometimes given that the lining of the womb tends to be thinner and therefore there's less to get rid of. Please. Try to base your comments on fact, and don't confuse elasticity with looseness.
ohhhhshizzz 0
I think she is saying she didn't have a honeymoon after the wedding. So maybe this is her first honeymoon, but she's been married. It's been done before.
hlks 0
That's my biggest fear.
NoMercy_fml 0
You already have 3 kids. That vag should be as wide and free flowing as Niagra Falls. Should be over soon. Plus do you really want more kids?